Legolas (looking at the chicken in shock): "Oh, well." (shrugs and notches the chicken) "Whatever works."
The chicken shoots through the air and its beak strikes an orc in the heart.
* * *
On the shores of the Great River a random, ordinary character comes across the boat carrying Boromir's body.
Random, ordinary character (peeking over the edge of the boat): "Either he was someone of great importance, or he did something very naughty."
* * *
At the Council of Elrond
Elrond (looking very proud of himself): "You shall be... the Fellowship of the Ring."
Boromir (glancing sideways at Legolas): "Are you sure we have to bring him along? He's a little... effeminate."
Legolas (looking very offended): "That may be true..." (rips off tunic and leggings to reveal black leather pants) "But when I put on leather pants, I am a macho man."
Fangirls everywhere squeal in delight while the council runs around in utter, and strangely choreographed, panic.
* * *
In Rivendell
Gandalf and Elrond are on the balcony and see Arwen walking in the gardens below them.
Gandalf (staring at Arwen): "She's stunning. Why, if I was a young man again..."
Elrond (giving Gandalf the 'go-to-hell-of-Rivendell' glare): "Yes?"
Gandalf (realizing that he has spoken his thoughts aloud to a very irate elf lord, and father): "Well, I'd be younger, wouldn't I?"
* * *
At Amon Hen, Boromir is growing tired of carrying around the Horn of Gondor
Boromir: "It couldn't have been Gondor's flute or Gondor's kazoo. Nooo..." (glancing down at the horn at his waist) "Stupid horn."
* * *
In Rivendell, as the Fellowship is preparing to depart
Elrond (looking at Aragorn sternly): "Estel, remember: to thine own elf be true."
Aragorn (glancing frantically between Arwen and Legolas): "Um, which one?"
Elrond (ignoring the indignant squawk from his daughter flashes Aragorn the 'go-to-hell-of-Rivendell' glare): "What makes you think I want my daughter to give up her immortality for a scruffy-looking ranger? Stick with the blond archer."
* * *
In Frodo's room in Rivendell, Gandalf is recounting his encounter with Saruman
*flashback*
Gandalf voiceover: "He trapped me on top of a tower, with no ceiling or walls. It all seemed too easy. That's when he did something totally unexpected, something so crazy and wild that it took me totally by surprise. Even though it was kind of funny, it was still really weird."
Saruman grabs Gandalf and kisses him right on the lips.
* * *
At the Council of Elrond
Boromir: "Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king."
Aragorn slowly stands and stalks over to Boromir, glaring down at him for a moment in silence.
Boromir voiceover: "That's when he did something totally unexpected, something so crazy and wild that it took me totally by surprise. Even though it was kind of funny, it was still really weird."
Aragorn reaches down and pulls Boromir to his feet, then kisses him right on the lips.
* * *
At the Council of Elrond
Boromir: "What would a mere ranger know of these matters?"
Aragorn (rising to his feet): "I am no mere ranger. I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and you owe me your allegiance."
Legolas (rising to his own feet and crossing his arms): "I feel that I was denied critical, need-to-know information."
Boromir: "You're not the only one, blondie."
* * *
In Lothlorien
Merry (wandering into Legolas' room and freezing in shock at the sight of a long, blond wig): "It's *gulp* his hair!"
Pippin: "But it's not on his head, Merry! It's not on his head!"
The two Hobbits proceed to run around the room in utter, and strangely choreographed, panic.
* * *
In Rivendell
Elrond (questioning Glorfindel): "Now, Glorfindel, how would you describe this person who stole Asfaloth?"
Glorfindel: "Uh... scary beyond all reason."
Elrond (slapping his hand to his forehead): "It was my daughter, wasn't it, Glorfindel?"
Glorfindel: "Um, well... yes, Lord Elrond."
* * *
On to the answers
On to Chapter Eleven: The B-Day Edition