| Rumble 2003 BACK TO ROUNDS 1 - 4 BACK TO ROUNDS 5 - 7 BACK TO ROUNDS 8 - 12 ROUND 13 Brian Wrote: Begin Round 13! Good Luck! TeleTubbie Narrator: One day in Rumble-Land there was a flash of light. It happened in the Observation Deck of the 15th floor. After the flash there was a young girl with long red hair. She is Kim Possible (note: for those who may not have seen Disney's show, think of Kim as a cross between James Bond and a typical Sit-Com teenage girl, and just for fun, make her a cartoon. Her Sidekick is Ron Stoppable, and the "Q" on her team is called Wade.) Det-det-Deeet-Eet (her personal jingle) Kim whips out her communicator. "Hey Wade, what's the sitch? (Her catch phrase [sitch - short for situation])" Wade: Hey Kim, this will be your hardest assignment yet. You have to destroy a bunch of green skinned monsters in a fight for you life! Kim: Nothing to out of the ordinary then. . . Any help you can give me? Wade: I'm working on that, seems the greenies are allergic to sunlight. I'm downloading a sunlight similator into your PDA. (the thing in incredible in its capabilities) Give me just a minute. . . Kim: "Hurry Wade here they come!" She attacks the Gremlins with several karate kicks, chops, and tosses one out the window where it evaporates. "Ha! Eeh-Yah! Any day now Wade! There are hundreds of them!" Wade: Just a sec Kim! Ok, powering up . . . and . . . GO! A beam of super bright light shoots out of the communicator and fries every Gremlin it touches. Kim runs down the hall and turns down the stairs chasing gremlins. Tubbie Narrator: Meanwhile in 10th floor land, the 'Freaky Four' are chasing gremlins too. Shrek and Popeye are breaking open windows that got painted, while the Invisible Woman tears down shades and blinds on other windows. At the same time Data blasts the gremlins with his phaser and herds them toward the light and their eventual doom. In 2nd floor land Perrin seizes a table leg and begins clubbing the gremlins away from him. Retreating into the kitchen of a chinese restaurant he accidentally ignites the leg on fire. The gremlins squeal in fear and Perrin gives chase. On the way he ignites several more tables and chairs. Before long the room is a roaring blaze and gremlins are burning all over. What a mess, some one go get the Noo-noo. Unfortunately, the gremlins are not the only things affected by the fire. The building's fire control systems kick in and water starts sprinkling out all over the 1st to 3rd floors! Brian: Of course the gremlins love this! Suddenly what was a horde of greenies, turns into an overwhelming mob of green skinned terror! Perrin sees impending doom and leaps out the window. The 10-foot fall knocks the wind out out of him, but he's basically unharmed. Also the sunlight of outside protects him from further attacks. Tubbie Narrator: Meanwhile in 3rd floor land, the sprinkles of water and enlarging groups of Gremlins intrude on the battle between the Sith and the other bad guys. Jafarlissant blasts a few and then thinks better of it and disappears in a cloud of smoke. Darth Maul takes sees Yiral is being overwhelmed and takes advantage of the opportunity. "This is what the Sith do to traitors!" He mutters as he relieves Yiral's body of his head. The gremlins take the head and begin to feed but the body falls out a window where it lands beside Perrin. He retakes his axe and looks up to see a black clad warrior climb out the window and start up the building clinging to the very walls. And there is a flash of light! Tubbies: Again, Again! Narrator: I am so sick of you fat slobs! *Eject* The tubbies and the narrator are all ejected from the commentator booth. Brian: Whew, that was close! (So, Perrin is at ground level, Darth Maul is outside between the 3rd and 4th floors, the 'Freaky Four' are closing in on Stripe who is also on the 10th floor, Kim Possible is heading down to the 14th floor and Jafarlissant has reappeared on the roof. Of course the Gremlins still control most of the building.) Mark Wrote: Professor Frink: Neuhoy! It's been a colossal fight so far, despite the total absence of any FLUBBER, Meuhoy! And Kim Possible is moving down the stairs, driving the gremlins in front of her, looking very silly as a cartoon what with the colors, and the 2-dimensionality, and the Muevin, haeven, Lady (nice lady)! But she reaches the 12th floor landing, and hears a tremendous roaring sound coming from the apartments. Kim: Wade, what was that? Wade: Not sure yet, Kim, but whatever it is it's huge! It just appeared there suddenly. Maybe you ought to leave it alone. Kim: No way, Wade. I don't want whatever that is at my back. I'm going in. Frink: and the cartoon lady (nice lady) opens the door, and the roaring, and the screaming, and the Muevin, haevin, it's so loud, neuhoy! VOICE: PUNY SLIME MEN, LEAVE HULK ALONE! Frink: Oh, no! the gremlins are going flying through the air, it's total chaos, and neuhoy! It's the Incredible Hulk, what with the green skin and the huge muscles, and the Gamma induced power and energy, neuhoy! Stan Lee: The Huge and Huggable Hulk is knocking the gremlins left and right, perhaps remembering the last time they tangled! And Kim Possible is standing there with her mouth hanging open! Hulk: PUNY SLIME MEN! HULK SMASH YOU! Frink: Indeed, the Hulk is smashing lots of the gremlins, but there's just so many of them! And they're getting Hulk mad, and MAEVIN! he's getting bigger! Stan Lee: Yup. His rage will cause Hulk to grow bigger and stronger, up to fifteen feet tall and 2000 pounds of coiled green muscles. Frink: And Kim Possible sees he's having some trouble, so she shines the Sunlight simulator at the Gremlins, and they BURST INTO FLAMES, Neuhoy! and they're running from the cartoon lady (nice lady), and Hulk is confused. Hulk: Girl with Light helps Hulk? Kim: Yeah, sure, big guy. Rather have you on my side. Frink: The Hulk watches the Gremlins running down the stairs, Hulk: Puny Slime men getting away! HULK WILL SMASH!! Stan Lee: and Hulk charges down the stairs, bowling gremlins aside at every step! Kim follows as best as she can. Frink: Meanwhile, The Freaky four are closing in on Stripe's hiding place, when the ANDROID, commander Data, turns around suddenly, holding his TRICORDER, meuhoy! Data: There are two non-gremlin life forms approaching us rapidly from the rear! Frink: Shrek, Popeye and the Invisible Lady (nice lady) stop and glance at the door they just came through. Data: One of the life forms is apparently quite large, and agitated. I am detecting large quantities of adrenalin, apparently charged with Gamma radiation. Sue: Gamma radiation? Uh, oh. Stan Lee: But before Sweet and Stunning Sue can explain, the door is smashed into splinters, and the Green Gargoyle, dripping with Gruesome Gremlin Gore pops through the door with a howl of rage. The freaky Four take an involuntary step back. Shrek: Hey! A fellow ogre! Hi, Chum, we were just going to . . . Hulk: PUNY HULK GET OUT OF REAL HULK'S WAY! Frink: And the Hulk knocks Shrek aside as if he was made of FLUB-BER! Popeye steps up to defend his friend, pulling a can of spinach out of his shirt. Hulk: Man with Can will tell Hulk where to find Puny Slime Men! Popeye: Ay, you really are a big goon, ain't yah? Hows about if I just knocks yah around a little, eh? Stan Lee: But Hulk knocks him aside like a fly, and advances on Data and Sue. Hulk: Hulk knows See-Thru Girl. See-Thru Girl and Yellow Man will show Hulk where to find Puny Slime Men. Sue: He doesn't want to hurt us. He's just after the Gremlins. Data: Understood. Hulk, according to my readings, the gremlins are originating from the apartment behind this wall. If we return to the hallway . . . Stan Lee: But Hulk isn't interested in that. With a roar, he smashes through the wall, and suddenly sees Stripe himself, still soaking in a warm bath, surrounded by offspring. Hulk: HULK WILL SMASH PUNY SLIME MEN!!! Stan Lee: and indeed he does. Stripe's only advantage had been that he could create offspring to fight and die by the hundreds. Alone against a creature like the Hulk, he hasn't a chance. Stripe and his bodyguard are soon reduced to a thin green paste. The Freaky Four--now joined by Kim Possible--help as they can, but mostly Hulk smashes on his own. In the scuffle, Hulk smashes a hole in the wall, straight to the outdoors and interferes with another battle . . . Frink: Yes, you see Malissant, near the beginning of this whole fracas was looking down from the roof, and spotted Darth Maul, climbing up the side of the building. He smiles ruthlessly, seeing his old enemy in such a helpless position. He starts sending blasts of magic--both from Jafar's snake staff, and from his own power--at the Sith lord, trying to knock him off the building. Darth Maul is avoiding the worst of the blasts, but is getting hit by a few of them. Palpatine: It will only make him mad. Mark: Don't be too sure. Malissant's Malice bolts can pack quite a punch, even for a Sith lord. Frink: But Perrin hears the commotion, and looks up to the roof. With his exceptional eyes, he spots Malissant, and recognizes the entity that killed his wife (nice lady). With a growl, he drops his chipped and useless axe, picks up Anakin's LIGHTSABER from where NightCrawler dropped it, and enters the building. He goes straight to the express elevator and presses the button for the roof. Jafarlissant may have a fight on his hands in a moment. Mark: But in the mean time, he is fighting against Maul, who is having enough trouble just hanging on to the edge of the building. Malissant: Here, let me help you with that! Frink: Meuhoy! Darth Maul is grabbed by some invisible dark force, and yanked up to dangle precariously six stories from the ground. He is swinging his lightsaber, but it does no good against the black fog which has him caught. And Malissant is using it to suffocate him, what with the choking and the drowning in the smoke, and the thing (Neuhoy!) Stan Lee: And just at that moment, the Hulk smashes the wall, sending rubble flying, and distracting Malissant enough that he drops Darth Maul! Emperor Palpatine: Luckily, my apprentice is practiced enough to survive a sixty foot drop with no problem at all. Frink: But now Malissant is eying the Hulk's MASSIVE arms with a greedy eye. Heh! Indeed, it would be TERRIFYING if Malissant could succeed in possessing the Hulk, (oh my gosh, its so scary!) and HUEVIN! A flash of light, that burns my eyes with blindness and such! (So, Jafar is on the roof, possessed by Malissant. The Hulk, Data, Sue Richards, Shrek, Popeye, and Kim Possible are on the tenth floor. Perrin is in the express elevator, headed for the roof, at about the eighth floor. Darth Maul is on the ground, shaking off the drop. And Stripe's offspring still control most of the building. I hardly need to remind everyone, by the way, but Hulk is my #1 pick, so no killing or maiming or anything) Cindy Wrote: Vizzini: Inconceivable! The number of fighters in this rumble is enormous! It's just too crowded; someone must be killed eventually! Inigo: I don't think anyone has to be dead. Fezzik: Not if everyone uses their head! Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it! Now, the newest fighter has shown up on the rooftop beside Jafar...Inconceivable! It's the Gandalf look alike from Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore! Inigo: He looks like a very nice man. Fezzik: He'll help out the good guys, if he can. Vizzini: Aah! Anyway, Dumbledore immediately faces Jafalissant and sees that he is evil. Inconceivable! When he raises his wand to send a spell at the shehap-possessed sorcerer, the spell is blocked! Inigo: It looks like Malissant may be able to defeat him. Fezzik: hmmm . . . but someone else may be coming up to meet them! Vizzini: That's inconceivable! No, this battle is just between the two of them. Dumbledore is really struggling to hold his own against the mighty dark shehap. Dumbledore: I see that you are not exactly what you appear to be. Tell me, what wizardry gives you these dark powers? Jafalissant: Fool! I've seen your kind before. I'll give you no answers. I shall only kill you. Vizzini: Inconceivable! Another warrior has come to the roof - it's Perrin, who took the elevator all the way up! Distracted, Jafalissant turns to see him, and Dumbledore is given the chance to throw another spell at him. Inconceivable! It hits him, and Jafalissant falls from the roof. Perrin goes to Dumbledore, recognizing a possible ally. Perrin: You defeated him! Dumbledore: I'm afraid not. There was something inhuman about that creature. Vizzini: Inconceivable! From Jafar's dead body all the way on the ground, on the other side of the building from where Darth Maul has just finished recovering, Malissant's essence arises, seeking another form to take. Of course, he doesn't have much time - he can only survive without a body for so long before dissipating. Inigo: If he wants to survive, he had better hurry! Fezzik: If he does survive, the others had better worry! Vizzini: Enough! Malissant's essence has hurried past the gremlins, spurning their tiny bodies, and up to the tenth floor where he finds the coveted massive body of the Hulk. He begins to whisper his offer in Hulk's ear - but - Inconceivable! Hulk rejects him! Hulk: Aargh! Stop hissing in Hulk's ear, Smoke-man! Hulk will not swallow Smoke-man! Hulk is Hulk! Inigo: It's not too surprising, after all. Fezzik: Hulk already thinks himself stronger than them all! Vizzini: It's true that Hulk considers himself more powerful than anyone, including Malissant...but stop rhyming! Oh...inconceivable! Without a body to take over, Malissant has dissipated! I suppose this means he's truly defeated! Inconceivable! And another fighter is coming! Inconceivable! Inigo: I don't think that means what you think it means. Fezzik: I think I'll go eat some lima beans! Vizzini: Aaaagh!! (So, Perrin and Dumbledore on the rooftop, Hulk, Shrek, Data, Kim Possible and Popeye and Sue on the tenth floor, Stripe's progeny throughout the building, and Maul on the ground, newly recovered.) RJ Wrote: RJ: Well, well, here we are at the final 5 minutes of round 13. This new flash of light will bring in competitor #61--so at the conclusion of this round, Rumble 3 will have gone on for 5 hours! That's a lot of fighting. Wouldn't you agree C3? C3PO: Yes, indeed, Mr. RJ. I had so hoped Master Luke or Master Anakin would do better. R2D2: BEEP BO BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE C3: Yes I know we are here to comment on the fight and not lament on our heroes. RJ: Anyway, the flash of light has brought an unexpected fighter--Gumby! Hulk immediately sees him and charges; ignoring the gremlins that still need to be eradicated. Del Taco Guy: There RJ goes again with that "college" talk--tell the story man! HULK: OH--Hulk play with green dough! Greedo: (pre-translated for our benefit) Did some body call for me? I've been looking forward to this for a long time. C3: I bet you have! Oh, where is General Solo when you need him. You stupid vermin The Incredible Hulk said he was going to play with "green dough" referring to Mister Gumby--although I am not sure what Gumby will do to protect himself. Del Taco Guy: I know! Gumby could like turn into a clay gun and shoot Hulk and . . . R2: BREEP BOP BEEP BEEP BE BO BEEP RJ: I agree R2--Del Taco Guy, you are the weakest commentator--good-bye! Del Taco Guy: Oh well, then I'll just leave. (Voice trailing off) I'll go home and get some tacos and . . . Homer: MMMMMMMM!!! Tacos! (Drools again) C3: So, then back to the fighting. The Incredible Hulk has indeed gotten a hold of Mister Gumby; leaving the work of fighting of the gremlins to Shrek, Popeye, Sue Richards, Lt. Data, and Kim Possible. RJ: It also appears that Kim is wondering why Hulk does not help out--luckily Sue is there to explain. Sue: Hulk needs his "play-time," but don't worry when we need him he'll help. C3: Well it looks like Kim is now relieved--they continue there work. RJ: Meanwhile Hulk has rolled Gumby into a ball and is having a grand time calming down--thus he is no longer as large as before--I am sure that will change soon . . . R2: BEEP BO BREE BEEP BOOP BREEP C3: Ah, yes R2, I completely forgot about Professor Dumbledore, Perrin and Darth Maul. RJ: It appears that Maul has one again climbed to the roof. But now only Dumbledore and Perrin await him. Maul sees Perrin with a lightsaber and a battle begins. C3: Perrin would be no match for Maul--luckily Dumbledore is there to even the score. Oh no, Now I've started rhyming. This is such bad timing. Oh . . . Vizzini: INCONCIVABLE!! RJ: No it isn't--this is the Rumble; you'd expect the odd to happen. Wow--Dumbledore has disarmed the Sith with an Accio spell. And Perrin strikes back--really dis-arming Maul. C3: Maul screams in pain as he sees his right hand fall dead to the ground. All those fighting the gremlins look around and migrate to the sound. Hulk places Gumby in his torn pants pocket. And Maul realized that with no evil foes he does not stand a chance against a warrior and a wizard--he flees down the stairs. RJ: And another competitor is coming to start Round 14! (So, Hulk is carrying around Gumby--who has been rolled into a ball. Shrek, Popeye, Data, Sue Richards, and Kim Possible have destroyed much of the gremlins--although many still remain in floors above. Maul w/o his saber or right hand descends while the other 7 advance up. Perrin and Dumbledore (w/Maul's lightsaber) await on the roof--planning what to do next.) ROUND 14 Brian Wrote: Brian: And here is the first fighter of the 6th hour! With only two hours remaining (that's 6 rounds at our current rate, or the 85th fighter) we find the Witch King of Angmar entering the fray. He appears with in the lobby. He gives a bone-chilling laugh as he steps on the skull of Gandalf, crushing it beneath his armoured boot. Fear exudes from his very essence. The remaining gremlins flee in terror. He follows them, in no particular hurry, up the stairs sending his fear before him as the wake of a mighty ship. Before long the 1st to 4th floors are cleared of gremlins and the Nazgul Lord has yet to face anything but squealing, fleeing gremlins. Mr. Noncommittal: Meanwhile, the surreal seven climb the stairs. They have cleared these upper levels before so they only do a cursory check with Data's tricorder and Kim's communicator. Finding nothing, they advance from the 10, to the 11th, to the 12th floor, when suddenly, Darth Maul careens around a corner, straight into them. The mind of a Sith Lord works quickly and furiously. Missing a hand and outnumbered seven to one, he knows a fight would not be in his favor. But as the Sith say, "If you can't beat them, use them." Maul: Help! Please help me! There are two horrible men up there. On the roof, they attacked me and took my hand. Mr. Noncommittal: Maul brandishes his cauterized wrist as proof. Then he drops to the floor, seemingly a lump of pitiable, sobbing, weakness. Hulk (with Gumby), Shrek, and Popeye charge up the stairs, fists ready. They are ready to avenge this poor miserable soul. Always the do-gooders, they will seek out and destroy the evil. Unfortunately they are also none to bright. In truth the evil in the building is below and behind them. While shrouded by the folds of his cloak, Maul retrieved a thermal detonator from his belt. Still wimpering, he extends his left hand, reaching for the stair rail. Data: I am not a doctor, but perchance I can take a look at that hand and . . . Mr. Noncommittal: However in the middle of his offer, Maul leaps into action. Flipping the thermal detonator at Data, he grabs the stair rail and vaults over it. He falls down the open shaft for a moment, finally grabbing one handed onto another rail at the 7th floor. He looks up with an evil grin as an explosion rocks the building. Brian: Looking back, we see that Data did his best to protect the women at his side. Cradling the ball in his gut he dropped to his knees trying to smother the guessed at explosion. However, Data had no way of knowing the force of a thermal detonator. The explosion ripped Data apart, blasted the walls, ceiling and floor in each direction in a nearly 15 foot radius. Kim and Sue were flung backwards as well, burned and broken each landed in a heap of rubble. The crumbling roof, fell atop them crushing any remaining life force from their bodies. Mr. Noncommittal: The explosion also alerted Hulk, Shrek, and Popeye. The shock wave beat them to their knees. Turning around they see that the stair below them have been blasted apart, leaving a chasm from halfway between the 13th and 14th floors down to the 10th floor. As they look back in confusion, there is a flash of light. By the by, who said you could choose to end this at 7 hours? Seems rather arbitrary, don't you think? Brian: Well, it has end some time, so we can begin a new one. This building is getting ready to crumble, and 7 hours and 85 fighters are both round numbers. I am the President after all. Fear not, if anyone has any objections I will reconsider. (So, The Morgul Lord is climbing the stairs to the 5th floor. Darth Maul is about to start searching for more weapons on the 7th. Hulk, Shrek, Popeye, and Gumby are looking at the chasm from the 14th floor stairwell. Perrin and Dumbledore, having heard the explosion, are cautiously going to investigate.) Mark Wrote: C3PO: Oh my! That Darth Maul is certainly an awful person, to hurt those poor women and that heroic droid. The terrible brute is hanging by one hand over the elevator shaft, and grinning horribly at the carnage, when suddenly there is a flash of light no more than three feet to his left. The light clears to reveal a ... um, a fuzzy pink beach ball? Jigglypuff: JIGGLEY! C3PO: Oh, I see! It's the balloon pokemon, Jigglypuff, one of the three winners of the first tournament. She has no offensive attacks more powerful than a slap in the face, and Darth Maul snarls in contempt. With his stump, he knocks the pokemon aside, and tries to pull himself up. But what's this? Jigglypuff bounces off the wall with a laugh, and has planted herself in his way. Smiling, she pulls a small microphone from behind her back. Jigglypuff (singing): Jiggly-PUFF, JIGgly-puff, Jiggly-PUFF! C3PO: Oh my! Darth Maul sees his danger a fraction of a second too late, and he succumbs to the soporific siren song. Slowly, the Sith lord drifts unwillingly into sleep. His grip slips from the ledge, and he plummets, still sleeping, down through seven floors and four sub basements to land with a smack flat on his back on top of Riddik! Emperor Palpatine: NOO! My apprentice was killed by a pokemon! Blue Ghosts of Yoda, Obi-Wan, and Anakin: HA, ha! C3PO: Jigglypuff laughs happily, seemingly unaware of the demise of her audience, and inflating herself into a balloon, begins to float up the elevator shaft. Meanwhile, Hulk, Shrek and Popeye have arrived on the roof, in a rage of anger! Hulk: Man with Horns said bad guy up here. Man with Stick will tell Hulk where is bad guy. Dumbledore: My goodness, what an ugly troll! C3PO: Dumbledore points his wand at the charging Hulk. Dumbledore: STUPEFY! C3PO: A jet of red light streaks from his wand and strikes Hulk in the chest. With a howl of pain, Hulk falls backward, but Shrek and Popeye rush up behind him, and Gumby leaps out of his pocket and forms into a giant hammer. Shrek: Hey, no need to get angry, chum! Popeye: Well, it's some kind a snakecharmer, idn't it, howsabout a slug in the head, then? Perrin (to Popeye): I don't know who you are, but anyone who fights beside two trollocs and a Gholam must be a darkfriend. C3PO: Oh dear, this is really a case of mistaken identity. These six ought to be on the same team, but now, they are locked in melee. Shrek picks up Gumby and throws him at Perrin, who reacts instinctively by swinging his lightsaber, even though he knows that a Gholam cannot be hurt like that. How surprised he is when Gumby gives one agonized scream and melts apart. The force of Shrek's throw still carries Gumby's mangled body onto Perrin, and traps him a bit, as Shrek rushes to attack him. Dumbledore: IMPEDIMENTA! C3PO: Now Shrek is moving at molasses speed. Popeye realizes that Dumbledore's a bigger threat, and turns to go after him. Popeye: So, it's the wizard who's giving us trouble, eh? Well he can't be worse than Merlin was, can he? Dumbledore: INCARCEROUS! C3PO: Oh my! Ropes have sprang out of nowhere to wrap around Popeye and trap him. The sailor cannot even reach the can of spinach that fell out of his shirt. It seems the edge in this fight goes to Perrin and Dumbledore! But suddenly, the Hulk is back on his feet, and seizes Dumbledore's wand! Hulk: Man with Stick NEEDS stick to hurt Hulk. Give it to Hulk! Dumbledore (With great calm): What did you say, troll? You can't use my wand! Hulk: Hulk is not troll. Hulk is Hulk. And if Hulk wants stick HULK GETS STICK!! C3PO: Oh my! Hulk has picked Dumbledore up bodily and thrown him against the ledge. Dumbledore only just catches himself without falling! And now Hulk has the wand, although I don't think he knows what to do with it. He charges at the somewhat flustered wizard. Hulk: HULK WILL SMASH PUNY HUMAN!! Dumbledore: EXPELLIARMUS! C3PO: The wand leaps out of Hulk's hand, and sails to Dumbledore's outstretched hand. Hulk charges at him still, though, and lifts both hands above his head. And Hulk brings down his hands on Dumbledore's pointed hat, and--Oh my! He's gone! Did Hulk smash him into the dirt as he did to poor Paksennarrion so many years ago? Hulk: Where Man with Stick go? C3PO: Oh, I see! Dumbledore has apparated! Very wise under the circumstances. And he appears again some ten floors below, down a long hallway from the Witch King. The Nazgul stops in shock. Witch King: Mithrandir? But...but...you're dead! C3PO: Dumbledore doesn't know the name this crowned dementor is using, but he shrugs his shoulders and draws his wand again. Dumbledore: So? So are you. EXPECTO PATRONUM! C3PO: A huge silver phoenix explodes out of Dumbledore's wand and flies straight at the Witch King! Ah, but it does not have the effect he hopes, since the Witch King is much more than a mere dementor. Meanwhile, on the roof, Hulk is getting increasingly agitated (and growing accordingly) at Dumbledore's disappearance. Hulk: Where Man with Stick? Come out so that HULK CAN SMASH!! C3PO: Shrek and Popeye are still trapped by Dumbledore's spell, but Perrin is starting to shrug off Gumby's slimy, sticky, corpse and rush to attack the remaining 'trolloc,' when suddenly, with a laugh, Jigglypuff floats out of the top of the elevator shaft! Hulk takes a swing at her and misses. Hulk: Stupid Pink Ball, stop laughing at Hulk! Jigglypuff (singing): JIG-glypuff, Jiggly-PUFF, JIG-glypuff, Jiggly-Puff! C3PO: Oh my! Jigglypuff's song has rendered both Shrek and Popeye unconscious, and Perrin slowly slips into the wolf-dream as well! Hulk resists a bit longer, because of his great rage, but inevitably, he falls asleep too. And what's this? The Hulk has shrunk down into the skinny form of Bruce Banner again! Mark: Keep in mind; Bruce Banner is still un-killable except by yours truly. C3PO: But now Jigglypuff has realized that everyone has fallen asleep, and is a bit put out (how odd! I thought that was the point of her singing, but now she seems upset that everyone fell asleep.) She pulls the end off her microphone to reveal a magic marker, and begins drawing moustaches and black eyes on the faces of all four sleepers. And there's a flash of light! (Jigglypuff is on the roof, with the sleeping Shrek, Popeye, Perrin, and Bruce Banner. Dumbledore and the Witch King face each other across a long hallway on level six.) Cindy Wrote: Lee Jordan: Well, that's a pretty sad sight - all those blokes knocked out by ball of fuzz. But what's this? The next competitor has appeared on the floor just below the roof, some tall fellow with a hood pulled over his head...he's turning around...oh, no....those red eyes...that snake-like slit for a nose....it's - it's - You-Know-Who! Professor McGonagall: Good heavens! It's (gulp) V-V-Voldemort! Lee: Don't say that name! Oh, this is going to be very, very ugly. He's checking out his surroundings with a terrible, terrible look on his face - and now he's Apparated to the rooftop! Oh, no! McGonagall: Oh, dear, why couldn't Albus still be there? He's the only one V-Voldemort is frightened of. Lee: Stop saying it! But he's not looking for Professor Dumbledore - listen! Voldemort: Where is POTTER?! Lee: He's looking for Harry, of course - I wonder if he'll be glad that he's already been killed, or angry that he didn't get to do it himself? McGonagall: I think we have our answer, Lee. Voldemort: Potter is MINE! Has anyone DARED to face him in my stead?! Lee: Jigglypuff has floated over to him, laughing, but before she can open her mouth, You-Know-Who has blasted the stupid piece of fuzz with the forbidden Avada Kadavra curse, and the thing falls to the ground in a hundred furry shreds. And now the snoozing fighters are awakening...although it looks like Perrin's sleep is too deep for him to wake up just yet.... McGonagall: My goodness! V-V-oh, never mind. You-Know-Who doesn't waste any time. With another intonation of the dreaded words, he's Avada Kadavra'd both Popeye and Shrek! How horrid! Fortunately, he doesn't seem to notice Perrin yet. Lee: Of course, this makes Bruce Banner, who has been watching in horror, quickly transform back into Hulk. Hulk: Snake man hurt Puny Hulk and Muttering Man with stick! Hulk take stick now. Voldemort: Foolish troll-beast! You have no chance against me! Lee: But look! When Voldemort sends the killing curse against Hulk, it merely burns his skin. Hulk roars with pain, but he's still very much alive. Apparently he's somewhat impervious to the worst curses - probably like a giant with his thick skin. McGonagall: Never mind that - You-Know-Who has changed tactics. He's attacking Hulk with curse after curse, irritating his skin if nothing else. Occasionally, a spell works and makes Hulk grow huge ears, or turns his skin orange, or makes his eyes stick closed. Of course, this only makes Hulk more furious, and thus larger and stronger. Hulk: Aaargh!! Hulk will CRUSH SNAKE MAN!!! Lee: Unfortunately, since one of the curses made Hulk's eyes stick shut, he can't see where his foot is going, and he ends up just stamping a hole through the roof. You-Know-Who laughs and Disapparates, and you can hear his voice just before he disappears... Voldemort: I'll be back for you, troll-beast! McGonagall: Oh, look! He's Apparated beside Albus! This will be a tremendous fight... Dumbledore (calmly): Why, Tom! I didn't know you had arrived. You do know Harry has already gone from this tournament? Voldemort: Don't you try to mock me, old wizard! I know Potter was killed. I'll find whoever did it and destroy them, since they took away the pleasure of killing him from me, but whoever did it, I am now unstoppable! None but the Potter boy ever had a chance! Dumbledore: That's not necessarily true, Tom...but why don't we talk about it for a bit? Lee: Instead of answering, You-Know-Who throws a curse at Professor Dumbledore! But he easily dodges it with his own defensive spell. McGonagall: Wait...where is the Witch King in all this? Lee: Professor Dumbledore's phoenix Patronus is chasing him around! It doesn't do anything to hurt him like it would to a real dementor, but it's distracted him for a bit. Oh, now the Patronus has vanished, and the Witch King turns back to Professor Dumbledore - looks like it's going to be a three-way battle now! McGonagall: Four-way, actually. Hulk, with most of You-Know-Who's curses worn off, has just crashed through the ceiling - he smashed all the way down from the roof. Lee: Bet that building's not going to last much longer! And here comes someone else! (So Hulk, Dumbledore, Voldemort and the Witch King on the sixth floor of a very unstable building, and Perrin still sleeping on the roof) RJ: And with a flash of light the next competitor arrives! Yes, I think it is time to make this a real Rumble! Master Yoda has returned at last!(Audience cheers) Yoda: MMMMM. Hehehe...far to much evil in fight now. Yes..good wizard and I make the difference. RJ: It appears that Dumbledore senses that Yoda will be an ally. And that will be needed considering it is right now 3 on 2--The Witch King, Voldemort, and technically the Hulk too battling Dumbledore and Yoda. Weird Al: Yoda, Y-O-D-A, Yoda. Like a carbonated soda. Yoda.... RJ: Thanks Al, but we all know the song. May I do commentary on the Rumble now? Al: Why, sure. I'd be happy to help in any way too, of course. RJ: Thank you. ANYWAY, Yoda immediately goes to work on getting the Hulk under control by using some Jedi mind control. Hulk: HULK SMASH OLD MAN WITH STICK! HE HURT HULKS GREEN FRIEND! Yoda: Old man Hulks friend Hulk: OLD MAN HULKS FRIEND. Yoda: He hurt not Hulks friend. Did by Evil Wizard. MMM Hulk: EVIL WIZARD HURT HULKS FRIEND Yoda: Hulk hurt Dark hooded Wizard Hulk: HULK HURT DARK HOOD RJ: Well, with that, Hulk is back on the side of good and it appears that Lord Voldemort has a cute new nickname. Al: Oh...maybe I can do a song on that! "DA DA DA DA DA...Dark Hoooooooood" RJ: Thanks Al, just keep working on that. While Yoda was working on turning Hulk, Voldemort and Dumbledore had continued their "little" battle. The Witch King, knowing that no man could kill him, and seeing only men here, retreated into the darkness to await the next competitor. Hulk: HULK SMASH DARK HOOD Voldemort: (After sending a similar tirade of spells) No manner of curses will dispell this troll? Arggg! Curse this damn Rumble and that boy POTTER!!! RJ: Well, I never thought that such a fight would come as this... Al: (Stops singing) Hey, look at Dumbledore. It appears that he has an idea... RJ: He is obviously telling Yoda something but with the yells from the Hulk and the ranting of Voldemort, I can't hear what he is saying. Al: And now Yoda is telling Hulk. RJ: IT has to be some Jedi Mind control again... Hulk (repeating Yoda's words): King Witch more powerful than Dark Hood Voldemort: WHAT!!! I THINK NOT! What sort of lies are you spreading now Professor! Dumbledore: It is true Tom...He cannot be killed by man. But a boy at one time destroyed you. Logic naturally follows that the Witch King must be more powerful than you. Voldemort: Well, I will see an end to that creature! RJ: He apperates away--obviously in search of the hiding Witch King. Al: This gives Dumbledore, Yoda, and Hulk the chance to go back to the roof and check on Perrin. RJ: So, thus ends Round 6--on to Round 7. Brian please make sure to inform all of our viewers (and me too) of the ending rules. And with that said another flash of light comes and..... (So, Voldemort is "hunting" the Witch King in the destroyed building, and Dumbledore, the Hulk and Yoda are tending to Perrin on the roof) ROUND 15 Brian Wrote: Brian: First I will answer RJ's question. In 5 more rounds (including this one) we will call the Rumble over. This is how it ends: RJ will introduce the last fighter and write for the normal 5 minute section. Then instead of sending that on to just me, he will sen it to all 3 other participants. After receiving the end, each of us (including RJ of course) writes their own Finale and sends it to everyone. So we may have 4 winners, however I would say we could also vote on the "Best" after all have been written. In the very first event, Mark and I both wrote and we both like his Finale best. That would give us a sole winner (maybe). Anyway, on with the Rumble. Carol Ailshie: I had to take time out from my very busy schedule to introduce are next fighter. She appears on the 8th floor by some of the last remaining Gremlins. They leap to attack immediately and she swipes out her sword cleaving one in half. At the same time her whole body begins to shine and the remaining Gremlins evaporate. Yes, that's right she is Paksenarrion Dorthansdotter, Paladin extraordinaire! Brian: Thanks Carol, you can go back to Isaac now if you wish, though you're always welcome back. Remember folks that Paks is my #1 pick. So we now have 4 of the 5 #1 picks in at the same time! Who will prevail? Mark: Hulk will of course. Cindy: I beg to differ! Robert: Don't count Perrin out yet! Brian: Anyway, having cleared the area of gremlins, Paksenarrion heads down the stairs. At the landing she heads left toward a row of offices. Suddenly a dark figure steps out. It is the Lord of the Nazgul. He fears little, but the sight of a mail-clad female, her long blond hair flowing out the back of her helmet, actually makes him tremble. With a screech of rage, fear, and hatred he charges, mace whirling. Paks braces herself. They collide! The Ring Wraith smashes the young paladin with his mace, driving her against the wall. Amazingly her shield is not crushed, though Paks is dazed. She has not faced an enemy such as this in quite a while. John Madden: Not since she squared off with Malissant in the first Rumble has she faced a foe of this magnitude. Course she was triumphant then! Brian: Well, here she is getting battered rather badly. Again the mace of the Nazgul Lord sends her sprawling to her knees. Then a snake-like voice speaks from the shadows. Voldemort: Picking on a weak little girl are we? You aren't all that strong! Nazgul: KEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAA! You are but a insignificant shadow. Your vileness pales beside the blackness of my shadowed soul! You seek revenge upon a boy? Seek the killer of his killer! He lies now upon the roof of this building! Seek the bearded one! John Madden: Amazingly, the snake man obeys! Perhaps the fear of the Ring Wraith, perhaps the threat of destruction, or perhaps the loathing of Harry Potter. Whichever it is, he charges up the stairs! Paksenarrion: Light penetrates all shadows! You shall die evil one! Brian: The Witch King laughs as he turns. But the brilliance radiating from the Paladin stops him instantly. His mace clangs off her sword and crushes a wall. Slamming him in the face with her shield, Paksenarrion drives her blade home. The Blessed weapon passes between shadow, armor and sinew, piercing the very heart of evil. With a screech of pain and fear, the Nazgul is no more. Wasting little time, Paksenarrion pulls her sword from the armor and chases the secondary evil up the stairs. John Madden: Meanwhile, on the roof, Yoda has revived Perrin with some Jedi healing tricks. Hulk is getting smaller (he's playing with the remains of Gumby) and Dumbledore is trying to convince Perrin that Yoda isn't a midget trolloc. They should be joined by Voldemort and Paks pretty soon. 'Course Voldemort is in for a surprise when he sees how outnumbered he is. Oh, and here is the flash of light bringing our next competitor. (So, Yoda, Hulk, Perrin and Dumbledore are on the roof. Voldemort is rounding the corner climbing the stairs to the 8th floor. Where that particular staircase ends thanks to Darth Maul. Paksenarrion is 2 floors behind him) Mark Wrote: Yoda: Misunderstood Hulk's intentions has Mr. Madden. Playing with Gumby he is not. Ponders does he the transience of life in this rumble--what was, is now gone. A deep thought it is for Hulk, and that is why smaller he is getting. Mark: Uh, Yoda? Yoda: Meanwhile, talking to Perrin is Dumbledore, but wary of us both is the Wolfbrother. He judges me by my face, but he judges Dumbledore by his wand--a man that uses the One power, he thinks him. Mark: Yoda, how are you doing that? Yoda: My ally is the force, and a powerful ally it is. Through the force, things will I see. The future, the past, the other floors of this building, old friends long gone. And old enemies, newly reappearing. A presence do I sense, one which I have not known for many a year. Far below us, in the remains of the lobby, appears has my old Padawan, Count Dooku. Darth Sidious: Ah, yes! Just when I lose one apprentice to that loathsome pokemon, I am given another. Welcome, Lord Tyrannaus! Yoda: Looks around does he, but no opponent does he see. A few gremlins there are, yes, but scare him they do not. Only for a moment, when he thought me it was. His senses are somewhat dulled by the dark side, but sense my presence he does, far above him. And sense him do I. Turn to mine allies I do, and say 'Go I must. An old enemy has arrived.' Turn I to Hulk. 'To the ground floor, bring me!' No need is there for Jedi mind trick, for understand me does the Hulk. And agree to help me he does. Hulk: Hulk will carry Tiny Green Man. Yoda: And carry me he does. Picks me up he does, and upon his shoulder I sit. Then over the edge of the roof he leaps, landing fifteen floors below without harm. Thank him do I, and enter the building I do. Turn to me does Dooku, an lights his saber. Dooku: Master Yoda. We meet again. Yoda: The dark side do I sense in you, my old Padawan. Fight again we must. Dooku: I am more powerful than you realize, old fool. Yoda: On bring it! TV�s Frank: And the little green Muppet leaps at Fu Manchu, and they are fighting, and it's really going fast, and the Muppet seems to be winning, but Fu Manchu is fighting back, and . . . Yoda: My commentary is this! Winning am I. But Hulk knows not what to think, and excite his rage does the battle. Charge does he! Hulk: HULK SMASH UGLY LIGHT-STICK MAN! Yoda: Attack does the Hulk, and Dooku retreats. Dodges does he, and punches the wall does Hulk. It smashes through to the next room, and scatter do several gremlins. Enraged is the Hulk! Hulk: HULK WILL SMASH PUNY SLIME MEN! Yoda: Down the stairs the Hulk chases them, while continue to fight do Dooku and I. Meanwhile, back on the roof, Voldemort has-- Prof. McGonagall: Uh Yoda? Yoda: Fine then, Know-You-Do has arrived on the roof, and-- Prof. McGonagall: No, it's just, since you're busy fighting with Dooku, I thought that-- Yoda: Handle it can I. Simply floated over the gap did Know-You-Do, and now facing Dumbledore is he. Voldemort: Stand aside, Dumbledore. That man is the grand-killer of the Potter boy. Revenge will be mine, and then I'll deal with you. Dumbledore: Oh, come now Tom! You don't expect me to allow that, do you? Voldemort: You don't need to ALLOW it, old man! AVADA KA- Dumbledore: PROTEGO! Yoda: Flies toward Perrin does a flash of green light, but by Dumbledore it is deflected at the last minute. Voldemort: You've stood in my way for the last time Dumbledore! CRUCIO! Yoda: Laughs does Dumbledore, and sends a counter spell at him. Battle do the two wizards on the roof, as do the two force users here below. Backs away does Perrin. Not to be trifled with are two men who the One Power can use. Especially when mad is at least one of them already. Perhaps both. Retreats down the stairs does Perrin, and after a few flights finds he the huge Maul-created gap. Across the gap, watches him does Paksennarrion, but see her he cannot--dark has it become. Perrin: I can't see any other way down. Paksenarrion: Let me see if I can help. Yoda: Light she calls, and see can they both. Perrin's teeth he grinds, but at least a female Aes Sedai it is, and not a man, doomed mad to become. And another flash of light there is! (So, Dumbledore and Voldemort battle on the roof, and Yoda and Dooku battle in the lobby. Hulk is in the second sub-basement, smashing gremlins. Perrin and Paksennarrion face each other across the gap in the stairs between the 8th and 9th floors. Cindy Wrote: Tolkien: Ah! At last, another one of my characters! It has been too long. Cindy: Actually, the Witch King came in quite recently. Tolkien: Oh, he doesn't count; he's gone now. Anyway, here's someone who will certainly last longer that him -- Eowyn of Rohan! Sword in hand, the brave maiden appears beside that enormous green troll in the sub-basement. Though she is taken aback by the massive creature, and the many tiny green creatures that surround him, she is quick to take the side of someone who is outnumbered. She joins him in attacking those little orcish things, and manages to slice through just about as many as the great troll smashes. Lucas: Meanwhile, MY creations are having quite a magnificent fight � Yoda: My commentary, this is! Lucas: If you keep up this subordination, I'll have Frank take his hand out of your little puppet body. Let's see how well you fight then! Yoda: Heheh! No puppet am I! Computer-generated image am I, for this fight sequence! Lucas: Well, anyway, Yoda is quite skillfully parrying with Dooku... Yoda: Hopping around like a green Mexican jumping bean, I am! Lucas: But Dooku is no poor swordsman himself...and what's this? The ground is shaking tremendously! Cindy: That would be Hulk, in the sub-basement, so enraged by the gremlins that he has taken to jumping up and down and making the entire building quake. Up where Perrin and Paks face each other, this has somewhat devastating effects. The already unstable floor is starting to collapse entirely. Paks sees that Perrin is in danger of falling through the hole, and decides that she really ought to rescue him, since she doesn't sense any evil intent from him. But how to get across the gap? Meanwhile, on the roof . . . Voldemort has seen that Dumbledore can block most of his curses fairly easily, and so he tries a different tactic. He mutters something that makes an enormous gust of wind blow Dumbledore right off the edge! Voldemort begins to cackle in triumph, but the next moment he is thrown to the ground by some kind of mild hex. Dumbledore stands behind him, having Disapparated from where he was falling, and Re-apparated right beside his enemy! Voldemort will recover from the hex soon enough, but Dumbledore will be ready for it. And now someone else is coming. (So Eowyn and Hulk are fighting gremlins in the basement, Dooku and Yoda are still battling in the lobby, Perrin is falling while Paks looks for a way to rescue him, and Voldemort and Dumbledore are still on the roof. And the entire building is quaking thanks to Hulk [playing with Gumby, indeed! Ha!]) RJ Wrote: RJ: So with a flash of light comes the last competitor of Round 15. It's the other number one pick--Magneto! Mark: Hey! You can't do that...he's already dead.... RJ: Relax man--notice how she cannot control metal--it is obviously an imposter. Mark: Did you say "she"? RJ: Yup. She is a shape shifter Mark: Oh, you mean its... RJ: YES!! The very ruthless Mystique. Regis Philbin: Is that your final answer? You could use a lifeline you know. RJ: Huh? Oh, well yes of course it is final--look now she has taken her "usual" form now. And no I'm not going to use a lifeline. You know Regis I though you had left primetime TV for good, but I can assure you the winner of this competition does not get 10 million or anything close to it. And they are fighting for far more than bragging rights. Regis: Very well then. Might I take a crack at commentation? I do have the voice for it. RJ: Sure go ahead. (Aside) Too bad this is written! Regis: So, we have the mighty Yoda fighting Dooku and what a battle it is! Yoda: Mine commentary MINE! Or I will help you not! You-do-Know waking up he is. RJ: Indeed Master Yoda. Let us concentrate on other things shall we--you may commentate on your battle when called to do so. Regis: HEY, this is my job! I am the commentator . . . RJ: Yo, dude! This is not Millionaire of Survivor--you can be kicked off this show really easily. So don't get on our bad side. Regis: Dude? OK, then. May I say one thing about Paks and Perrin then? RJ: Just a sec--I have to say that Master Yoda is correct though--Voldemort has begun to awaken and he is mad as ever. Regis: Meanwhile, Paks is shocked--as she tried to find a way to help the VERY tired and rescue needy Perrin--he simply stopped falling in mid-air! Yoda: Me again it is! Powerful ally the Force. RJ: Paks shakes off her little start and helps Perrin safely move over to the 8th floor--and they head back downstairs because of the large ruckus that Hulk and Eowyn are making. Regis: But haven't they done a good job of destroying ALL the remaining gremlins--so let's play who . . . RJ: REGIS! Focus man, focus! Yes, Hulk has along with Eowyn destroyed the green Spawn, but in doing so they have destroyed a lot of the structural integrity of the building. I am not sure how much more this poor high rise can take! Eowyn: Come, strong friend. We must leave these low levels before these walls reduce to rubble and bury us. (She turns to leave) Hulk: HULK follow pretty hair and sword girl. RJ: He also goes upstairs--and they meet up with Paks and Perrin who have just come across the Jedi/Sith battle--still going strong. Yoda: Yes--but powerful still Yoda is. But more people I sense coming. And soon, mmmmm. Regis: Correct!--Opps, that is Alex's line--I mean YES!! you've just won $100, 000 and... RJ: OK that's it--Regis is now banished. I will finish this up. Voldemort has awoken fully now and realized that his "other" nemesis--Dumbledore has both wands. Dumbledore: There is still much you must learn, Tom. What will killing along the chain of he one who killed Harry get you? You still do not have a "real revenge." And where would it stop? What if this killer, killed himself? What would you do then, Tom? You have to think about these questions before you do anything else; and you need to know there is something you must do. But it is our choices that matter most, you need to remember that. Come. RJ: It appears that Dumbledore has apparated Voldemort and himself to the lobby--they too came to observe the Yoda/Dooku fight--but with their arrival the battle ceases for the moment. All eyes are on Dumbledore. Voldemort: Now what "Professor"?!? Dumbledore: We wait--there is another competitor coming--one who will change the whole outcome of this Rumble... Mark: Hold it RJ--why did you introduce Mystique and not have her do anything? RJ: Simple Mark--what else would a shape shifter do than check out competition to mimic--both living and dead. Mark: Ah, I see, she is looking for disguises and defenses of those that remain. RJ: Yup--and as of right now she is in the shadows of the lobby watching everybody and has taken the form of one Harry Potter--for who would be afraid of a young man like him? And with the flash of light we go to Brian and Round 16, competitor #70! (So, all are in the lobby--{in order of Rumble appearance}--Perrin, Hulk, Dumbledore, Voldemort, Yoda, Paksenarrion, Dooku, Eowyn, and {in shadows} Mystique as "Harry Potter") READ ON! CLICK HERE! |