FALLEN ANGELS
A Fruits Basket Fanfic
Written by Miyu, Vampire Princess
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Again with the ideas from Mona-chan. And yet another Shigure x Rin story. This
is a story told in 6 parts and this part is all from Rin's POV. LEMON! Please
enjoy. The song lyrics are from Sarah McLachlan's "Fallen". Comments
are always welcome. .
CHAPTER 2 - All Messed Up
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Though I've tried I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so
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I have no idea what I'm doing, stripping in Shigure's study. I expect to see the perverted inu glancing around the corner as I peel the wet clothes from my body. But when I don't see him, when he doesn't return right away, I relax a little. With my clothes off, I pull the blanket tightly around me. I'm not embarrassed by my own body. I'm quite comfortable naked. But for whatever reason, I feel out of place. Not real.
I feel so many things.
Lost. That's how I feel. So very lost. Hurt. The pain is almost unbearable if I think about it too much. And alone. Definitely alone.
The blanket surrounding me offers little comfort. It's his for one. I can smell him. It's not cologne, but a smell distinctly his. I should toss it aside and find something else to cover me, but instead I pull it tighter. Besides, there's not much else in his study. I didn't think he lived in such...squalor. Well he certainly doesn't live like a pauper, but it still doesn't look quite...Shigure.
And why the hell do I care?
I practically collapse onto the futon. How long does it take to throw some clothes in the dryer? Maybe he's giving me space. Gods know I need it. Or maybe he's contacting someone...oh Gods, I hope not! No, no. I have to believe him. Just this once. He's only doing laundry. Yeah, that's it. Besides, he looked pretty freaked out by my crying. Not his usual reaction, either.
With a sigh I allow my body to fall towards the ground, lying down. I feel so heavy all of a sudden. I'm exhausted...and yet...I still want to cry. I can feel the tears stinging at my eyes. One of them falls unbidden and I wipe at my eyes quickly. No more crying. If Haru doesn't love me anymore then I have to get over it.
But it's just not that easy...is it?
Everything grows darker, my mind in a haze. My eyes fall closed and sleep tugs on the edges of my mind. But it's only a temporary shelter, sleep. In the darkness of my mind I remember. How Haru and I first met, the harsh words I said to him. I remember the first time he kissed me. The first time we snuck into the woods of the Honke to fool around. The first time we made love. No, I didn't classify it as just sex. It was too...emotional. At least for me.
Sadness, overpowering and strong, consumes me. Tears fall from my closed eyes, but I'm too tired to really care. I just want to be alone. Alone in my sorrow. Alone in my grief.
But the pain...the pain is too damn much! Why?! Why does it hurt so much?!
Because I was in love.
Because I'm still in love.
And just as if I willed it myself, Shigure returns. I can hear him moving about the room. I can hear the tea tray being moved to another place. His desk perhaps? I can feel him, his heat and warmth as he lies down next to me. I should recoil, but I huddle closer instead. I want to believe it's simply the warmth that draws me...but perhaps that's not all it is. Shigure is smart. He's had his fair share of experiences. Maybe...just maybe.... Before my brain can even process the words, they slip from between my lips.
"How do I make it stop? This pain...how can I...make it stop. Please Shigure...make it stop."
I'm surprised by the light touch of his lips on mine. Even more surprised by my own reaction. I lean in closer, my knees touching his lower thighs. His warmth moves closer, surrounding me, drowning me. His lips become slightly more aggressive and my lips part, allowing his tongue entry into my mouth. Our tongues meet, dance, duel and dance some more.
I suddenly feel very warm all over and I'm not sure why. Haru's kiss used to affect me like this. The boy could make my blood boil. This isn't nearly as intense, but just as passionate. It's calm, unhurried, exploratory.
I like it.
A moan echoes into the room and I'm not sure if it's his or mine. I don't care, really. I want this. This heat. This warmth. Pushing through the pain. Slowly making it go away. My fingers grasp the edges of his yukata, pulling him closer to me. The temperature rises yet again. Thigh to thigh. Chest to chest. And I still want to be closer.
The pain still remains.
And judging from the bulge in his yukata...he's in pain as well.
HA! What a predicament!
It should go no farther than a kiss. Hell, we shouldn't have kissed! But it's too late. It's not enough. I want more. I NEED more. His right hand rests tentatively on my hip as the left gently strokes my hair. The motion is soothing, yet strangely erotic. Is that how his fingers will feel on my skin? Can he really be so gentle?
I moan, darting my tongue into his mouth to duel with his. He's surprised by this bold move, but responds with equal fervor. His lips try to devour me, his tongue dancing gracefully in my mouth. The heat seems to rise a notch and the blanket around me suddenly feels...coarse. My skin is too sensitive. My heart is beating faster. I think it's more than I can take.
And yet, I can't seem to get enough.
The blanket leaves my grasp, either because I toss it aside or because Shigure pulls it away from me. The cool air is soothing on my skin, sending goosebumps of pleasure throughout. I can feel my nipples harden, my blood rush through my system.
Shigure's hands begin to roam and I tense. They're everywhere at once! My arms. My shoulders. My waist. My hips. My thighs. Is it possible? My brain begins to form a response, but its stopped dead on its way to my body. What the hell?! This has gone too fair, my brain screams. But my body is purring like a kitten. My cousin is obviously more experienced. He does write this stuff for a living.
I wonder, will I appear in one of his stories some day?
His hands are surprisingly gentle. Not that Shigure is a TOTAL cad...but I expected a higher level of aggressiveness. Actually, I PREFER it. I'm used to the way calloused fingers roughly remove my clothing. The way teeth bite at my sensitive skin. A hard and fast joining is just the way we used to do things. Haru and I. I didn't want him to be gentle. I didn't thin it would be as much fun.
But Shigure is blowing all of that out of the water. I like the way his arms gently encircle me. I like the way his fingers smooth over my hair. I like the way his tongue plays with mine. Carefully. Carelessly. Just the way we fit together seems so...perfect.
The kiss breaks and Shigure's mouth moves from my lips to my neck, nipping, biting. Just enough to arouse, but keep me relaxed. My arms surround him, my fingers curling in the loose material of his yukata. I try to pull the material away from his skin and at the same time pull him closer. I WANT him closer. I NEED the feel of him against me. I need the reassurance of his closeness...his warmth.
And I just want the pain to go away.
Gods this makes little sense! But he moves closer, capturing my earlobe in his mouth and tugging lightly. A moan escapes my throat, my fingers grasping his yukata tighter. As he moves, he pushes me onto my back. I hold him tighter as he moves over me, whispering his name like a prayer.
He pauses his kisses long enough to ask, "Are you sure about this, Rin?" With his tongue he traces the line of my neck to my shoulder. "I'll stop...all you have to do is say the word--"
"Don't talk," I groan, grasping his hair in my hands.
With a not-so-gentle tug I pull him into another kiss. This one much more demanding. Much more wanton. I don't want to hear his voice. I don't want to talk. Words get in the way. I merely want to feel.
I want his hands on my breasts.
I want his lips on my skin.
I want to feel him pounding away inside of me.
I want this pain to go away.
"Rin?"
"Onegai." A single word. A simple word. A prayer. A plea. The one word that sums up just how I feel at that very moment.
Thankfully, Shigure's not as dumb as he looks.
The hands that were once everywhere focus on my breasts. His lips pay homage to the swell of one breast, while his hand cups the other. His free hand continues to roam as before. Touching here. There. And most especially there, at the junction between my thighs. His fingers are not as gentle as they dive through my curls, seeking my warm center. I welcome him without question, knowing that this will help take the pain away.
Two fingers enter me. Then three. He moves them unrythmically, lazily. It's so arousing that I have to groan, writhing beneath him. He may not be in a hurry but I am. I arch my hips, wanting to set a faster pace. But he simply switches his kisses to my opposite breast, keeping the same pace inside me core.
As he tortures my body, I try to get a better look at his. Fair is fair, and his yukata seems to be in place still. I grasp the material, trying to tug it free until I realize that all I have to do is untie the belt. Well, sort of. The yukata has parted and I can feel Shigure's arousal against my thigh. I take a moment to savor the feeling, imagining what it will feel like inside of me. But then my sensitive skin interrupts, telling me that the yukata has to go.
Shigure curses, pulling away only slightly to undo the knot of his tie and rid himself of his yukata. He uses the hand from my breast, keeping his other hand still between my legs. I use the interlude to work my vaginal muscles. To feel. He groans, purposefully scissoring his fingers inside of me to halt. But it only makes me move more.
"Dammit Rin, hold still."
He returns to me completely naked, not that I get a very good look. But I can feel. His skin is smooth against mine, rougher in some spots, but I suppose that's natural. He's also got less hair than I imagined...on his body anyway. He's not old enough for me to nag him about his hairline just yet.
But when he kisses me, it's aggressive. Thoroughly demanding. His body weighs heavily over mine. His hands kneading my breasts, pushing his fingers forcefully inside of my center. Gods yes! This is it! THIS is what I like.
Then he stops.
And the pain doubles.
"Shigure!"
He says nothing, flipping me over like a pancake. Incredibly strong, my cousin. I know I'm not heavy, but I'm not a lightweight either. Turning my head over my shoulder, I can see him positioning himself. Sitting up on his knees he pulls my hips upward.
I make no move to stop him, only a small move to aide him. I push myself backward and he pushes forward. I feel the head of his erection brush against my center. I shiver from the excitement and anticipation. We do this several times before I finally feel the head of his erection at my entrance.
"Rin?" His final plea.
"Just take the pain away," I whimper in return.
In one solid thrust he's home. Good gods but he's thick. I expected him to be longer, but he's already stretching me so far. If he were any longer he wouldn't fit. Not that that would be a problem either. I've dealt with it. But nothing compares to the feeling of fullness. Complete and utter fullness.
Shigure's lips trail kisses along my shoulder blade as he remains still inside me. I push my hips back, but he still refuses to move. With a little tilt of my hips and an arch of my back, I manage to get the tiniest bit of friction. But it's not enough. Why won't he move?!
As if I'd asked the question out loud, Shigure begins to thrust. It's a slow, unhurried movement - pulling only an inch or two out of me before slowly pushing himself back inside. I hear him sigh, feel his breath against my back. He murmurs compliments. Words of praise.
I sigh myself, trying to push against him, to create more friction, but the bastard is totally in control. He keeps moving slowly. Increasing his pace ever so slightly. Pulling out that extra inch every so often. It's killing me...making the pain almost unbearable. It curls inside of me, almost ready to burst but not quite. Frustrated I scream his name.
"Shigure!"
WHAM! A solid thrust. Followed by another. And another. Completely pulling out and thrusting back in. My body catches fire immediately and begrudgingly I have to give my cousin credit. He's a genius. I feel the orgasm swirling inside me as his pace increases drastically. I can feel his sac slamming against me with each push. I can feel him pulsing inside me. It all adds to the thundering sensation of my own blood as my orgasm approaches.
I can see the wave as it rushes to me. I should stop it, but I don't. The wave slams into me like a ton of bricks. I can feel the pain...ebbing, easing itself away from me. Washing away like my energy. What a rush! Gods I think I'm going to die. I had no idea I was that sensitive. That was quite possibly THE BEST orgasm I'd ever had. Damn!
But it doesn't stop there...or at least Shigure doesn't.
He manages to roll me over onto my back, twisting my legs around and over his head without having to pull out of me. Neat trick. Then again, I am pretty flexible. Leaning over me, Shigure places a kiss to the valley between my breasts as he slides himself out and thrusts back in. Hard. I can feel myself melting all over again. Just from a single thrust! A moan echoes through the room again. But is it his...or mine?
Oh what the hell! I feel my hips being lifted as Shigure created an interesting angle...for me anyway. All he has to do is drive straight down. And he does...over and over and over. It's perfect really, the steady rhythm. And the head of his cock hits just the right spot on the down stroke.
His teeth graze the skin of my breast. His tongue twirls around my nipple. I arch my back to give him better access. It also adjusts the angle to which he's thrusting inside of me. He groans at the change of contact, his teeth biting into my breast. I open my mouth to scream -- in ecstasy not in pain -- but nothing comes out.
My breath catches in my throat as his pace speeds up. I can feel the orgasm inside me, waiting to explode. It takes little coaxing. Just a few more thrusts and BAM! My body tightens all over and I can feel him pulsing inside of me.
I finally manage to scream his name and I hear my name too. Such a beautiful sound coming from him. Haru never said my name quite like that. All guttural, almost like a bark. I suppose it's something only Shigure could accomplish.
I collapse from exhaustion. Shigure falls beside me, his arm slung over my middle.
Then it's over.
And I feel so freakin' dirty.
With what strength I have left, I manage to sit up on the futon. I move to pick up clothes that aren't there. Damn! Still in the dryer. So I pick up the closest thing -- which just happens to be Shigure's discarded yukata -- hanging it around my shoulders. My body argues each and every move, but I push past the pain, the fatigue. I have the sudden urge to scream. Gods this was stupid. What the hell was I thinking?!
Shigure moans as I move about, dressing as I head for the door. "Don't leave, Rin."
His words make me pause, my hand already on the doorframe.
"I don't want you to leave."
"I have to go," I say, my fingers clutching onto the doorframe. I want him to give me a reason...just one good reason, to stay or leave.
"At least tell me what this was." His voice is calm, but I can hear the anger behind his words. "What the hell did we just do?"
"A mistake," I mutter, my forehead resting on the door. "It was a mistake."
"Don't say that."
Tears begin to fall. I begin to feel the pain from before, but with it comes a new feeling. One of betrayal. But what I did wasn't really betrayal, was it? "That's...what it is," I say before I can stop myself.
There's a long pause and I can hear Shigure shifting around in the room. Is he standing? I hear him moving closer. "Rin--?"
I throw the door open quickly, afraid that if he comes close enough, if he gets a hold of me, that I won't be able to escape. "I'm sorry."
"Rin! Wait!"
I left much the same way I came. Running. Hard and fast. I don't even know if I closed the front door. Once the cool air of evening hit me I took off for the main house. I wanted to go elsewhere, but I really had no other option. I didn't want to be in public. And in my state, something stupid was bound to happen.
So I kept running. Through the front gate. Through the garden. Through the front door of the house. Through the living room. Down the hallway and into the bathroom. I slammed the door closed and locked it. I kept my tears to myself, despite Kagura's yelling in the hallway. Running the water in the bathtub, I stripped and jumped in, wanting to simply drown myself.
The water was scorching, but the heat felt good against my skin. Much the same way Shigure's blanket had. The same way Shigure had.
I grabbed the washcloth and scrubbed. Not because I needed to feel clean. I no longer felt dirty. But I needed a distraction. I didn't want to think about Shigure. I didn't want to think about Haru. Bastards, both of them!
What I did was NOT betrayal!
So why do I feel so guilty over a bout of sex?!
A good bout of sex!
Gods help me. What am I becoming?
~TO BE CONTINUED~