Have a Little Faith, Chapter 41

“It’s something I hate doing more than anything,” Alex said to Doyle.  “Dressing up like this.”  Alex wore a black dress with long sleeves with a skirt down to just below her knees.  She never liked wearing anything so constricted. She felt a lot more comfortable in jeans, a nice shirt and sneakers.

“How do you think I feel?” he retorted looking over his suit and tie.  He fidgeted uncomfortably with his tie. The last time he had to wear a suit was Cordelia and Lindsey’s wedding.  It seemed ages ago but it was only about three months.  He was hopping to never wear the suit again.

The door opened and both Doyle and Alex felt startled.  But they knew it was not a vampire.  The man was dressed in a dark suit appropriate for a funeral.  He was in his forties, had glasses and short brown hair.

“Hello,” he said with a somber tone.  “I’m Rupert Giles.”

“Oh,” Doyle said, letting his guard down.  “Buffy’s Watcher?”

Giles nodded, but did not have a chance to respond because the door of Lindsey and Cordelia’s apartment opened and Faith and Lindsey appeared.  Lindsey was barely standing.  Faith had to hold his arms. Lindsey was dressed in a black suit.  One of the many he said he never wanted to wear again because it reminded him too much of Wolfram and Hart.  Faith was wearing her only dress.  A pink one that she had worn to Cordelia and Lindsey’s wedding.

“Faith, Lindsey?” Giles said, moving towards them.  “I’m so sorry.”

They slowly made their way over to Giles.  Lindsey sat down in the seat at Cordelia’s desk. He did not look at them or say anything.  He just looked at the wedding photo of him and Cordelia on her desk.  They looked so happy and beautiful.  Lindsey picked it up and touched the photo.

“Hey,” Faith said moving slightly closer to Giles, but also tried to stay close to Lindsey.  “Where’s B?”

“She’s at the church now,” he explained.  “She thought it would be best if I came.”

“I guess she didn’t want me to be watcher free—again,” she said and chuckled slightly to herself.

“She thought you might need me.”

“No,” Faith said.  “I’m an adult now.  I don’t need anyone.”

“Oh,” Giles said.  “Still—“

“Don’t worry, Giles,” she said.  “I’ll be okay.”  She looked over Lindsey who did not make eye contact with anyone.  “I gotta look after Lindsey.  He’s the one that needs help. I’m gonna look after him.  We can take care of ourselves.”

Giles did not reply.  It was clear that both Faith and Lindsey were in deep shock.

“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,” the minister said and threw dirt on the coffin.  Wesley’s ashes had been shipped back to England where he would be buried.  But Doyle told the minister that he should mention Wesley.  He had during the funeral but probably no one would remember.  He barely would.  He only remembered when they took Cordelia’s body away.  Everything in the last five days had been a blur.

Cordelia’s parents showed up.  Her mother cried, but neither of them came near Lindsey or even introduced themselves.  Many of her high school friends came from Sunnydale including Buffy, Willow, Xander, Giles, Harmony, Devon, Larry and a few others.  Harmony cried that she had only seen Cordy a month ago and she was so filled with life and happiness.  Doyle was glad she did not remark on the incident that happened in the restaurant.  In fact she had shook Doyle’s hand with no horror in her face.

While the ceremony was going on, Giles noticed a woman standing way in the back.  She nodded at him and he nodded in return.  The woman was in her late thirties, had brown hair and was tall only a few inches below 6 feet.  She did not come forward. She stayed in the background and watched.

Lindsey was silent when he watched the coffin go into the ground.  She had told him not to blame himself.  Her last thoughts were of him, but he knew—he knew that this was a dangerous business.  He should have kept her away. Angelus was going to kill them all and never be re-souled.   He realized that now.  They had all been idealistic.  It would never happen.

After the coffin reached the bottom, several of the men put a layer of dirt.  Lindsey did not do it.  He did not want to believe she was in the coffin.  This was a dream.  A moment later he would wake up next to her.

“No,” he whispered.

“It’s okay,” Faith said, grabbing his arm and clutching it hard.

After they were finished, the people who worked for the cemetery finished the job.

“Come on,” Faith said, while Lindsey stared at the grave.  They would all be in graves soon.  “You don’t have to watch.”

Lindsey turned around thinking she was not really in there.  That this was a trick and she had gone into hiding.

He stopped in his tracks.  Standing directly behind him had been Lilah and Holland.  Holland’s wife Catherine was standing next to him holding flowers.  He might not have been bothered if Lilah just showed up.  She was the one who warned them about Angelus wanting the gem.  If only they had let him have it.

It was Holland that bothered him

“Lindsey,” he said, his voice filled with face emotion.  “I’m so sorry.”

Lindsey glanced at Holland just for a moment while his rage grew and then he punched him.  Faith had to grab him from jumping onto of Holland.  Though Buffy never met Holland she realized who he was.  She too held on to Lindsey.  Lindsey had gotten so angry that it took two slayers to hold him back.
Lilah looked a little tearful.  Katherine looked shocked and frightful.  Both women took a step back.

“You son of a bitch,” Lindsey screamed.  “You deserve everything Angelus does to you.  I hope he fucking kills you like he killed Cordelia.  I hope he fucking mutilates you.”

“Come on,” Faith said.  “Fuck him. Let’s go.”

“What was that all about?” Katherine asked Holland.

Lindsey walked in the opposite direction.  Lilah tried to reach out for him, but stopped.
As they were walking away, Faith saw the woman with brown hair.  She smiled at Faith, but did not come over.  Faith just looked at her in confusion, because she did not know who she was.  Lindsey did not seem to either.  She figured she must be a friend of Cordelia they did not know.  However, Faith only wondered for a moment, a mind went back to Lindsey and they continued walking away.

Alex hosted the wake.  She had the nicest apartment and no one wanted to have it at the office even though it had more room.  Doyle’s apartment was to crummy and Faith did not want to go back home.

Lindsey plopped down on the couch and did not say another word.  Faith sat down next to him.

Cordelia’s parents did not show up.

Buffy sat down next to Faith.  She put her arm on her shoulder.  Faith pulled away.

“I don’t need sympathy,” she said.

Buffy looked down. “It’s not sympathy,” she tried to explain, but there was nothing else she could say.

“Don’t you worry,” she continued, “everything will be okay.”  She put her arms around Lindsey.  “I have to take care of Lindsey.  He’s the most important person here.”

Buffy nodded, but did not move from the couch.

The doorbell rang and Alex went to answer it. Everyone she expected had shown up.

The well-dressed brunette from the cemetery came in.  Alex remembered her from the cemetery.  Giles got up and went to her.  They both walked over to Faith.

“Hello Faith,” she said, she had an accent that sounded like the West-end of London.  “I’m Lilith Newell.”

“Screw you,” Faith said.  “What are you going to do?  Betray me?  Leave me? Will you get fired like Giles? Or will you just die?  He’ll kill you, you know?  He’ll drink your blood until you turn cold.”

“I assure you Faith,” Lilith said, only slightly unnerved.  “I do not plan to do any of that.”

“I’m 18.  I don’t need you.  Just like B.  You’re human, you’ll just die.  They all die.”

“I don’t think this is the time or place to discuss this, Faith,” she said.  “I came to say I’m sorry about Wesley.  He was a fine watcher and a person.  He shall be sorely missed.”

“To bad he didn’t miss Angelus,” Faith said and laughed, but both Giles and Lilith could tell it was an angry laugh.

“But anyway,” Lilith said.  “I just wanted to meet you.  We can talk later when you are up to it.”

“Don’t count on it.”

“I know this is a big shock,” Giles said.  “But Ms. Newell is a lot different than most watchers.  There is a reason they choose her, because of your—situation.  Please give her a chance.”

“No fucking way.”

“Faith, we’ll talk about things later.  I know you are grieving now.”

“Get out!” Faith suddenly screamed.  “I don’t need any of you.”  She put her arms around Lindsey who seemed oblivious.  “I only need Lindsey.”

“I do have to apologize for her,” When Giles and Lilith moved into the kitchen.  Alex’s kitchen was gray and did not look well used.

“Nonsense,” Lilith said.  “You are not even a watcher—“

“I should have come sooner.  But we have a lot going on in Sunnydale.  In fact Buffy and I immediately have to return.  But Faith shouldn’t be alone—I think she’s in shock.”

“I don’t think the council would be too happy to hear that Buffy and you are still working together.”

“They really do not have any say in the matter anymore,” Giles said.

“They could if they wanted too,” she replied.  “I would watch your back.  Anyway, about Faith.  I know she’s been through a lot.  That’s why I was chosen.”

“More than you can imagine.  Doyle—“


“He’s a seer.  He said that Faith had to stake Wesley to save Lindsey.”

“Oh, I see.  And I guess she has not been able to deal with that.”

“No.  It is far more than his death that’s troubling her. Now she has to deal with believing she killed him, though actually he was already gone when she staked him.”

“Yes, she has trouble dealing with things.  She’s lost so many people close to her.  I think that’s why I was chosen.  I am a licensed psychologist.  Until I was called, I dealt primarily with adolescents.”

“That may not help.  Faith is very head strong,” Giles explained.  “Despite how she acts, she is quite bright.”

“I understand that.” Lilith took a slight breath. “I’m wondering if you can confirm with me what’s going on here.  The council is none to happy about what has been occurring with Angelus.  They were hoping he would be staked by now.”

“I don’t know if I am the best one to explain it,” Giles said.  “There is apparently an ancient prophecy that Angel will help save the world from an apocalypse.  Doyle confirms this.  The powers that be sent him to help Faith cure Angelus.

“Can it be done?”

Giles looked down and then took off his glasses and whipped them.


“The curse needs Transliteration Annals for a gypsy curse.  They are lost and from what I am hearing they have hit a brick wall in their dealings with the gypsies.” Giles looked down.  This talk was making him think of Jenny.

“Then he must be staked.”

“I wish it were that easy, but we are dealing with the higher powers here.  The warriors sent by the powers that be.  They are the ones that send the Slayer. If they say Angelus needs to get his soul back, then we have to figure out a way.”

“The gypsies have not been any help?”

“No,” Giles said.  “And according to Wesley neither have the watchers.”

Lilith did not say anything for a moment.  “Now Lindsey McDonald.  He was an insider for Wolfram and Hart.  Why is he here?”

“Angelus discovered what he was doing and Faith and Buffy rescued him.”

“And Alexandria Taylor.  She’s the private investigator that Faith has been using as a cover.”

“Yes,” Giles said.  “Apparently Faith was having some trouble doing her duties in Los Angeles.  She needed a cover to work by.”

“They also have a contact in the police department,” Lilith explained.  “Detective Kate Lockely.”


“And a human who has a vampire killing—um street gang.  Charles Gunn?”

“Yes.  He sometimes helps Faith.”

“Yet after almost a year, they have accomplished nothing.”

“Hardly,” Giles said.  “Didn’t Wesley send you reports?”

“Yes,” Lilith admitted.

“Then you should know that Faith had been doing regular patrols, therefore staking vampires—her job and she with the help of her friends have saved several people from Angelus.”

“If he had been staked last year, there would not be any problems like this one now.”

“Were you expecting her to go against higher powers?  She has been warned by the Oracles—speakers of the Powers that Be of her duties to bring Angel back.”

“I don’t know if I like all this.  Especially with all these civilians in the field except for the seer.  Besides Wesley, an innocent woman is dead.”

“Lilith, you are more unconventional than the others.  If you try to take away her family—Doyle, Alex and especially Lindsey, you will not only fail but you will drive a wedge between her and the council and you will lose her just like Buffy.  Faith is very fragile when the people she trusts are taken from her.  These people have produced a remarkable change in her. Faith was once very jealous of Buffy.  She felt like a spare, but this world she is in now: fighting vampires and the forces of darkness.  It has separated her from Buffy.  You cannot take that away.”

Lilith took a deep breath. “So what do I need to do?”

“Be here for her and don’t press her.  She needs to get through her grief.   I wish I could stay, but Buffy and I have pressing matters back in Sunnydale.”

“Thank you, Rupert,” she replied and looked down.

The guests left, the food eaten and the only people left were Faith, Lindsey, Doyle, Alex, Giles, Buffy, Xander, Willow and Lilith.

“Faith,” Giles said.  Buffy and he came over to her.  “We have to go.  We have a major situation in Sunnydale.   We need to get back.  Otherwise we would have stayed as long you needed us.  We’ll come back afterwards if you want us too.”

Buffy nodded in agreement.

“Don’t bother,” she said.  “Everything’s five by five here.  I don’t need to be taken care of.”


“Everything is okay, Giles. Alright?  I’ll get through it.”

Giles looked like he was about to say something, but never did.  Buffy touched Faith’s shoulder, but Faith pulled away.

“Go,” she said.  “Go save the universe.  I’ll take care of Angelus.  That’s my job.”

“Faith,” Buffy said.  “You did not kill Wesley, Angelus did.”

“I know that,” she retorted.  “I’m still a slayer if case you’ve forgotten.  I know how a vampire is made.”

“I’m just worried about you.  I just wanted to make sure you knew that you staked a thing wearing Wesley’s body and that Wesley’s soul want to a good place, just like Cordelia.”

Faith smiled, but not a good smile, an evil smile.  “Why thank you Buffy.  I didn’t realize that. Now just go.”

“I’ll walk ya down,” Doyle said.

“That isn’t necessary,” Giles said.

“It is,” Doyle said and smiled.

The first person to talk to Doyle was Xander.  When they reached the streets, he went over to him.  This was the closest he would get to alone with one of Cordelia’s friends.  He wanted to ask this from Lindsey.  But it looked like Lindsey was not in the mood to talk.

“Doyle, right?”

Doyle nodded.

“Cordelia—We used to go out—“  He took a deep breath.  “Do you think she suffered?”

Doyle did not respond.  So many people loved Cordelia.  He was staying strong for Lindsey and Faith.  At least Alex seemed to be coping.  But he could not believe that she was actually gone.  He was never hear her rants about how wonderful Lindsey was or her snide remarks or her complains about making coffee.

“I don’t think so,” he said.  “I think she was only alive a few minutes after Angelus—Angelus got to her and she died in her husband’s arms.  I don’t think that’s suffering.”

“I keep wondering,” Xander said.  “If I hadn’t cheated on her, we would have still been together, maybe she would have never gone out to LA.”

“We can’t dwell on the ifs,” Doyle said.  “There are to many.  You will never know and it’s best not to dwell.”

Xander did not reply.

“The important thing here is to help the survivors.  I know it’s only been a few days, but I’m very worried about Faith and Lindsey, especially Faith.”

“Me too,” Giles said.  “Though they are both in denial, he is having a more normal reaction, being withdrawn.  She, on the other hand, cannot deal with staking Wesley.”

“She might have said she knows that wasn’t Wesley, but I don’t think she believes it,” Doyle commented.  “After it happened, they just went up to the bedroom and stayed there until the funeral.”

“I wish I could stay,” Buffy said.

“I’ll look after them,” Doyle said.  “I promise.”

“Please,” Giles said.  “They are both very vulnerable, especially to Angelus.  He did this for a reason.  He likes to torment his intended victims for as long as possible.  Their reactions is exactly what Angelus is looking for.”

“And it could explain why that guy had the gall to show up at the funeral,” Buffy explained.  “He wanted to unnerve Lindsey further.”

“I promise I’ll look after them,” Doyle said.

“Nice shiner,” Angelus said and smiled.

Holland did nothing but frown.  “Angelus, why is the slayer still alive?”

Angelus smiled.  “She did that to you?”

Holland looked embarrassed.  “No—it was Lindsey.”

“Yeah, he’s probably pissed about me killing his wife. And how are the slayer and the little lawyer reacting to their loses?”

“Very badly,” Holland said, but was still annoyed.  “He’s withdrawing.  She’s pissed off.”

"Soon they’ll both come after me,” Angelus said and smiled.  “And all your problems will be over.”

Holland sighed.  He hoped all this effort would get him that promotion.  Angelus was beginning to annoy him now.

Continue to Chapter 42


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