Chapter 14
| A Simple Act of Faith Chapter 14 |
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He stayed away from the office until 2am on Friday. He knew not a single person who would be there that late.
He walked up to the apartment. He had four boxes. He could fit all the stuff he needed in his duffel bag, but now he had to get rid of Cordelia’s stuff.
He had a lot of time to think in the last few days. The last few weeks felt nightmarish and he could not believe how far he had fallen. He had lost Faith and maybe all his friends. He knew what he had done was wrong. He knew it had been wrong because if he told his friends they would have told him not to bring Cordelia back. The forces of darkness had wanted to give him everything he wanted. But he needed to learn something. A Rolling Stones song went through his head.
You can’t always get what you want,
But if you try sometimes, you get what you need.
For the past year, he had played the part of the hero while living in the guilt of his past. It was now time to start being the hero. There were just a few things he needed to do.
He also knew that the hero always got the girl.
He delivered two of the boxes filled with Cordelia’s clothes to a local teenage homeless shelter. He planned to dump them in the door and leave. He had errands to do. But the door to the shelter opened. A pretty girl with long blond hair that looked like she was in her mid twenties stood there.
“Can I help you?” she asked, she seemed suspicious of him.
“I was just dropping these boxes of clothes off.”
“You should do it tomorrow,” the woman said. “We’re closed now. Someone will probably steal if before the staff comes in tomorrow.”
“I won’t be here tomorrow,” he said. “I can only drop it off tonight. Please, you’re here now. You can take them in. I’m not a bad person. I just wanted to give these clothes to some kids. They are really cool clothes and maybe these kids could feel like kids again when they wear it,” Lindsey said and smiled.
The woman still seemed suspicious. “Alright, you can bring them in, but remember I’m strong and I know how to beat vampires.”
Lindsey chuckled.
The woman gave Lindsey some very bad and stale
coffee. Before he left, she had guilted him into a donation. Lindsey
gave her $200 all that was in his wallet. After that she had softened
a little. He had given her a larger donation than most. What
she didn’t know what tomorrow he planned to cut her a bigger check for allowing
him to get rid of part of what was holding him back.
The next stop was an empty parking lot.
He had taken some of her things that could not be donated, but were not mementos
he wanted to hold on to. He only held on to her love letters and her
pictures. He planned to never look at them again, but he wanted to
pass them on to his kids if he ever any. He wanted someone to always
remember that Cordelia Chase was loved. He wanted people to know that she
was one of the people who had pulled him from oblivion.
What he planned to burn were things like her hairbrush, her toothbrush, make
up. Personal items that usually had no sentimental value.
He burned the box, watched the flames until all he had burned turned to ash. Just like Darla.
The sun was just starting to peak over the horizon
when the fire went completely out. There was just once last thing he
had to do.
Alex showed up at the office at 5am. She had a feeling Lindsey would come very early and leave before she arrived. Alex wanted to talk to him. She wanted to say goodbye.
For the first time in her life, Alexandria Taylor had been happy. This was when she was part of a unit. Now that unit was gone. Everyone was dead or leaving and Alex was alone again and she no longer wanted to be.
Alex was shocked to find the apartment cleaned of all Lindsey and Cordelia’s stuff. She was afraid she had already missed Lindsey.
She was relieved when she find his filled Duffel bag. He would be back.
Alex went back downstairs. She went into
her office and waited.
Twilight had hit when Lindsey pulled up to the cemetery gates. He parked the car. He knew the cemetery would not be opened for another few hours. He had planned to break in again if he had too. He didn’t care if he had to spend a night in jail. He had to see her.
As luck had it, Mr. Evans was actually in. He saw Lindsey at his office and waved. He came out and went to the gates and began unlocking them. Neither men said anything while he did it. Evans got the gates open and held them for Lindsey who walked in. Lindsey followed Evans to his office.
“Drink?” Evans asked. Lindsey nodded. Evans poured one into a plastic cup.
“You let the other girl get away?” Evans asked.
“Yes. But I want to get her back.”
“I don’t know about that,” he replied. “It’s hard to get back on the good side of a hurt woman.”
“I know, but I’ll do anything to get her back.”
“Anything?”
“Anything.”
Evans opened the door to his office. “Go give up the ghost.”
Cordelia Chase McDonald
1983-2001
Beloved Wife and Daughter
The Earth has Angels all too Few
And Heaven is Overflowing.
She was waiting for him when he got there. She looked beautiful and exactly the way she looked the day he saved her from Russell Winters.
“Lindsey,” she said. “I thought I made myself perfectly clear.”
“You did,” he said. “I was just filled with grief.”
“I had almost no strength, almost no life left. When you took me into your arms, you gave me one last moment to be with you. And you gave me just enough life to try to spare you hurt. For the first time in my life, I didn’t think about me. I wanted you to not feel the pain of my death and to not blame yourself. I did all that I did with both eyes open. Now I'm in heaven. There is nothing here but peace, remember that.”
“I do and I promise, I won't blame myself. ” he said. He pulled close and kissed her. When he opened his eyes, he realized he was standing on top of Cordelia’s grave alone.
“Hey baby,” he said. “Look, I want you
to know that I love you. You are my life. I promise to visit
you, but it’s time for me to move on. Faith’s still alive and she needs
me. I love her as much as I love you. Now don’t get jealous on
me. You made it that I have so much love in my heart that I can love
more than one person.”
Alex was quietly dozing when she heard the sound of the door opening. Dawn had rising so she could see it was Lindsey. Lindsey looked happier than he had in the last five months.
“Lindsey?” Alex said, getting up.
“Alex?” Lindsey questioned. He was surprised to find her there.
“Yeah, I was hoping to catch you so I came in early. Why don’t you come into my office?”
Lindsey nodded and entered the room. “I was just getting my stuff and then I’m going to get out of your hair.”
“You don’t have to hurry.”
“I’m really sorry, Alex,” he said. “I’ve been a prick the last few months.”
“I’m not that one you should be apologizing to.”
Lindsey frowned. He sat down in the chair opposite Alex’s desk. “She won’t speak to me. I think I need to give her some cooling down time.”
“You may have to skip it.”
“What?” Lindsey asked, confused.
“Faith is leaving Los Angeles. She and Lilith are moving to New York.”
“What? When?”
“I’m not sure. As soon as Spike and Dru left and judging by what happened, I would say they are probably long since gone. She was miserable here with you so distant. She wanted to make a fresh start.”
“But she can’t,” Lindsey said, taking Alex’s hand gently. “I love her. She can’t leave. I’m over Cordelia. I won’t betray Faith again. No matter what happens. I swear.”
“You better tell her,” Alex said. “And soon. I think she’ll want to leave as soon as possible.”
“But I—I don’t even know how to approach her without her getting angry.”
“I don’t know.”
Lindsey didn’t replied. He needed some
good advice.