A Simple Act of Faith
Chapter 10

 Faith did not sleep.  Instead she put the radio and laid in bed.

“Well, I've been loving you for such a long, long time baby
Expecting nothing in return
Just for you to have a little faith in me”

She knew Lilith was right.  She needed a fresh start.

As soon as Spike and Drusilla were staked, she would go to New York and give Lindsey the time to recover.  If he wanted her, he could find her.
 

Lindsey finally showed up around 11am.  He entered the office smelling of liquor and looked haggard.

He expected Alex to say something, but she was staring intently at her computer.  “Hello Lindsey,” she said, without getting up to greet him.

“Hello, Alex,” he replied and moved towards his apartment without saying anything else or waiting for
Alex to say more, but she didn’t.  He guessed he finally alienated her.

When Alex heard the door closed, she picked up the phone and dialed Faith’s number.
 

Lindsey had turned on the air conditioner.  He was tired, but he didn’t fall asleep.  Instead he turned on the radio and stared at the ceiling.  He laid across the bed so he was on both of their sides at the same time.

Her pillow no longer smelled like her.  The scent was gone.  Instead he only smelled himself.  It was a disgusting vulgar smell.

When the road gets dark
And you can no longer see
Just let my love throw a spark, baby
Have a little faith in me
 
For a moment, he wondered what he was doing and why his chest always hurt.  If he was older he would have thought he was having a heart attack, but this pain it wasn’t a physical pain.

Would Cordelia want him to hurt his friends to get her back.


No one would be hurt but Angelus.  Lindsey didn’t care what happened to him.  It only mattered that she would have another chance.

The room felt cold.  She never liked having the air on high.  She liked the heat.  Lindsey grabbed the blanket and pulled it over himself.  He hugged it tightly.  He was dying.  He knew it.  There was nothing he could do to stop it.  His heart was going to explode from all the pain it carried.

Lindsey buried his head in her now scentless pillow and wept.

 

Faith showed up about an hour later.  She visited Alex first.  Unlike Lindsey, Alex got up from her desk and greeted Faith.

“Hey,” she said, and looked down.

Faith realized that Alex was in the middle of this mess and playing mediator.

“He looked terrible, Faith,” Alex explained.

Faith nodded.  “I know and I don’t know what to do about him—or how he’s gonna react when I tell him.”

“Tell him what?”

She looked down.  “Lots of things—biggest one of all is I’m gonna leave LA.  Lilith set it up.  As soon as I’m ready.”

“Without Lindsey, I take it,” Alex said.

Faith nodded.  “I’m sorry, Alex—“ she said.  “I don’t mean to leave you in the lurch, but I stayed in LA after Angelus to be with Lindsey.  It’s obvious that he really doesn’t want me.  That the whole thing after Cordelia and Wesley’s death was just—just grief.  He just needed a warm body.”

“I don’t believe that,” Alex replied.  “But I do understand that Lindsey may just need some time alone.  He obviously doesn’t want our help.”

“Thanks for being understanding,” Faith said.  “I didn’t want you to think I was passing the buck.”

Alex nodded, but in reality, she felt everyone was leaving her.  “So when are you leaving?”

“That gets to other thing.  I can’t leave until I stop Drusilla and her man Spike.  They’re here and giving Angel and me a run for our money.”

“Angel?” Alex questioned.  “You’ve seen him?”

Faith nodded.  “Lindsey’s gonna be pissed if he finds out—“ she took a deep breath.  She heard the door click.

“Find out what?” a voice said.  Faith looked to the door.  Lindsey was standing in front of the door.  It was obvious he was listening on the other side.  His hair was wet indicating he had just showered.

“Nothin’” Faith said.  “Where you been?  I was worried.”

“Don’t change the subject,” he said, a little mad.  “What would piss me off?”

“Fine,” Faith said.  “I’m fucking sick of this crap. Drusilla and Spike have been murdering people all over LA and they nearly murdered me last night—“

Lindsey’s face softened, but he still looked angry.

“I need help.  I need help fighting them.”

“Alex and me are here,” Lindsey said.

“I need more than two humans.  Especially since I don’t know—I don’t know if I can count on you anymore.”

“What?” Lindsey said, getting more angry.

“I’m going go out for coffee,” Alex said, quickly.  Lindsey and Faith stopped arguing long enough for Alex to make a hasty exit.

“I’ve always been here.”

“You haven’t been here since we got back to LA.”

“We fought Angelus, we can fight these two vamps.”

“No, we can’t.  I need someone stronger.”

“Stronger—“ then Lindsey realized.  “Oh fucking no.”

“I gotta Lindsey.  Otherwise Spike and Dru are gonna keep on killing.”

“He’s a fucking murderer!” Lindsey screamed.  “He fucking turned Wesley and brutally killed Cordelia. You don’t remember that.”

“I fucking do!”  Faith said.  “Everything fucking day I think of staking Wesley, but you know what?  I got over it.  You gotta get over her.”

“By fucking working with the thing that killed her?”

“He’s not a thing,” Faith said.  “He said he was sorry.  The demon killed Cordelia.  Angel is the one with the soul.  He doesn’t kill people.”

“I can’t believe you,” Lindsey said.  “Faith—he’s a murderer.  He destroyed our lives.”

“We have to move on,” Faith said.

“I am.”

“I don’t think so.”

“What proof do you have?”

“Our relationship.  You said you loved me.”

“I was just out of my mind.”

Faith suddenly stopped talking.  She was taken aback.

“Are you sayin’ you don’t love me?”

Lindsey shook his head.  “I like you Faith.  You’re a nice girl.  Okay-- but what happened last May.  It was just from the deaths.”

“That isn’t true—“

Lindsey looked down, then up again, although he had pain in his chest from what he was about to say.

“I had that clarification right before we left Sunnydale.  It was the shock of her death.  I just needed someone and you did too.  It’s just that you were so happy.  I didn’t want to hurt you.  You said you were over Wesley’s death.  I guess now you can handle the truth.”

“You’re lying—Lindsey—What has happened to you?”

“Nothing,” he retorted.  “I’m just seeing things more clearly now.”

“Clearly?”

“Yep,” he said.  “I know exactly what I need to do and who to do it with.”

Faith did not replied.  For just a moment, it felt like Lindsey’s new clarity meant caring about no one.
 

“Hello,” her voice said.  Lindsey had already downed two shots.  It helped his nerves which were shot right now. He could not believe he told Faith this morning that he did not love her.

“What do you want?” he snapped, wishing she would just go away.

“How are things going?”

“According to plan,” Lindsey paused.  He couldn’t tell Darla about Faith working with Angel. Part of him still wanted to protect Faith.

Darla touched his neck.  She licked it.  Her tongue was warm.  She had already fed.

“That’s it.”

“I confronted him at his hotel—“ he explained.  “He was very shaken up.  Gunn also confronted him.”

“Good,” Darla said.  Lindsey turned around and faced her.

“You really love him?”

“Yes,” she said.  “As much as you loved your wife.  This is why I am going all out for him.  I want my Angelus back.”

“There are plenty of other men out there.”

Darla laughed.  “Like you?”

Lindsey shook his head.  “I’m poison and I wouldn’t make a good vampire.  I never could stand the sight of blood.”

Darla leaned over and kissed him.  He felt nothing.

“Not bad,” she said.
 

There was no sign of Spike and Drusilla when Faith and Angel did their first patrol together.

“He raised holy hell when I told him,” Faith explained.

“Were you expecting anything different?” Angel replied.  They had dusted four vampires, but there was still no sign of Spike and Dru.

“He said he never loved me.”

“Do you believe him?”

Faith shook her head. “I don’t know what to do, which is why I gotta leave.”

“I don’t blame you.  I didn’t want to come back here, but I had to make amends.  Even if no one wanted it.”

Faith looked down.  A vampire came out of the darkness.  Before Angel was on him.  Faith hit the vampire three times before staking him.

“Angel—“ she said.

“What?”

“I don’t think Spike and Dru are going to show up tonight.”

Angel shook his head.  He expected Faith to say something else.

“You want to call it a night?”

She nodded.  “Lilith has been worried about me,” she explained.  “Especially when I came home late yesterday.”

“I was going to head to Caritas.  Maybe you can come get advice?”

Faith shook her head.  “I know exactly what I need to do.”
 

Contrary to their beliefs, Spike and Dru had shown up that night, but when they saw Faith with Angel, they watched instead.  They saw the two working together.  Instead of attacking them, they went to track down Darla to tell her what they saw.
 

Lindsey was up to his tenth shot.  At least that’s what he thought.  He had lost count.  He wondered if Wolfram and Hart would still raise Cordelia if he had died of alcohol poisoning.  Darla had left about an hour ago saying she was bored with Lindsey’s lamenting and that she wanted to go out and feed.  Ironically, Lindsey wondered if children had ever been her victims.

Then a weird thing happened.  Gavin Park yanked Lindsey off the stool hard and pulled him up.  Lindsey faced the angry Asian lawyer.

“Park, what the fuck do you want?”  He noticed that Darla, Spike and Drusilla were behind him.

“We had an agreement,” he said, finally putting Lindsey down.

“I’m doing my part. You’ll have my soul for hers.”

“And when were you going to tell us that Faith was working with Angel?”

“Lindsey,” Darla said, less angry than Park.  “You shouldn’t lie to me.  I don’t like it when people lie.”

Lindsey pulled away from Park.  “I don’t care.  Kill me, burn me, turn me.  I don’t care.  Faith’s a big girl.  She can do whatever she wants.”

“I’ll fucking kill him,” Spike said, rushing towards him, but Drusilla held him back.

“No, love,” she told him.  “He’s even more pissed off at her than we are and we need that anger.”

“Lindsey,” Darla said, keeping calm.  “Angel has gone to Cartias alone.  I want you to up the guilt and I want you to drive him away from the slayer.  He needs to be alone.”

Lindsey nodded.  He was so drunk, he had forgotten that Angel wasn’t completely alone.  He had Doyle.  He didn’t mentioned that to them because right now he hated them all.

Darla smiled, then kissed him again, leaving her horrible scent all over him.
 

Angel was not sure why he kept coming back to the Cartias.  He had a terrible voice.  Two hundred and fifty years of practice and he was still terrible.

“Back again?” the Host said.  “This time you have to sing on stage.”

“I like coming here?” Angel said, but he knew the host did not buy it.

“Nothing has change,” the Host said.  “Except—and its kind of hard to tell since you aren’t humming-- is that you are doing the right thing.  You are the path of forgiveness.”

“You mean by Faith?”

“Oh, that girl—she’s already forgiven you.  She’s not ready to tell you.  I’m talking about this guy.”

Angel looked at the door.  Lindsey was standing there.

“But there is quite a lot to do before.  And you aren’t the only one.  Don’t give up on him, Angel.  He has it in him.  Meanwhile tootles.”

Lindsey walked straight over to Angel.

“Stay the fuck away from her,” he said.

“Faith’s not an object for you to possess,” Angel said.  Then he noticed a scent among the vast amount of alcohol Lindsey had drank.  It was Darla.  He reeked of Darla.  He thought he smelled it at the hotel, but the smell of alcohol and sweat had been stronger.  He knew Lindsey had recently been with Darla.

“She doesn’t need you.  She’s grieving for Wesley, who you brutally murdered.  She’s not on her game.”

Angel realized that Lindsey was laying it on heavy and it wasn’t just because he felt this way.

“Lindsey, I don’t wish to discuss it.  Faith’s a grown woman, and she needs help stopping Spike and Dru.  She’s not going to get it from you.”

“She can and will.  She doesn’t need your help.  In fact no one does.  You belong with Darla,” he said, then stormed off.
 

Chapter 11

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