|
Jess: How can she not hear that?! Mom! She's not going to turn it off, is she? Melissa: Nope. (She turns it off) Jess: Mom! Why didn't you turn off the alarm? Mom: I thought it went off on its own. Jess: Obviously, it didn't! Mom: Yes it did. Jess: Mom! Melissa turned it off!
Jess: I've accepted the fact that I'm going to live in a box when I grow up. Mom: Oh, but you're going to have the cutest little box! "Beep, beep. Memory Full. Clear Memory. Delete. Defrag the brain. Defrag the cerebrum...Scandisk..." (Mom) "Oww! Who put their shoes there?! Well, they're mine, but I didn't put them there!" (Mom) "This was a youth German magazine." (Mom) "Did you ever think that you know this stuff so well that none of the questions are hard anymore?" (Mom)
Melissa: (On TV: Do you believe in life after love.. By Cher) Ohh! I thought that was by Dave Matthews! Cris: I was thinking that too! Jess: Wow, you guys are really dumb. Cris: I thought that was why they (Best Week Ever on VH1) were talking about him.. 'cause his music was bad... I don't trust you! I'll never trust you with my Orbit! Jess, you should be so proud of me because I studied for two hours! Wahoo! Get ready Hi Q! No stupid toilet paper! What kind of house are we!!" Melissa: Sarcasticness...Sarcasticism... Jessica: Sarcasm, Melissa Melissa: Same thing. "Martha Stewart's not a real person. It's just a fake name...No, wait. That's Aunt Jemima." (Melissa) "That doesn't give any volume to the music....Bounce...Bounce...." (Melissa) (Referring to her music without the wall-shaking bass boost.) "Can you...can you...can you.... Get the king. The King of Hair! What's to tell? Just do it!!" (Melissa, half asleep.) "Chill. Chiiiiillll. (pronounced "cheeel") La, la, la. La, la, la. LA!" (Melissa, again half-asleep.)
Jess: I played DDR for an hour and a half last night Cris: Why do you call Diddy Kong Racing DDR? Jess: Uh..I don't. (DDR= Dance Dance Revolution) *A dialogue, after our orthodontist appointments. Cris, yet again, amazes us all* Mom: Cris, what did the orthodontist say? Cris: Uh...um...um...I don't know. Jess: Cris, you were there, were you not? I mean, he was looking inside your mouth, right? Cris: I don't know what he said...Uh...I wasn't really listening. I was really tired. Jess, what did he tell you about your retainer? Did he say it was good and all? Jess: Yea... Cris: Yea, that's probably what he said to me too. Jess, did you pick Emotional vs. Contemplate? [Me: Do you mean contemplative?] Uhh..yea. Jess, what does the doctor have to fill out on your [driver's] application? Make sure your legs can reach the pedals? (Cris) (Thanks Cris, I appreciate it. You're not even going to be able to fit in a car the way you grow...Haha.) Tasting is believing. If you taste your math, you will believe in it more...No, you can't eat any paper. It has to be the math. Taste the math. (Cris) (I don't know either...but it's the last time I complain about math homework...) Small fish grow slower...No, small fish grow faster...Small fish don't take as long to grow...and can reproduce more quickly. (Cris) You cut me deep. You cut me real deep. (Cris) 'Cause the Mothman Prophecies was just a little scary. (Cris) |
Mom
**Boston**
(The alarm is
buzzing for 5 minutes)