Misato's playful, mischievous nature is also emphasized more than usual because I find it a great mood setter for comedic or light-hearted scenes. It's also very funny to watch Cirus twitch (trust me, my friends pull it on me in real life, too...). However, Cirus' 'shyness' is really focused around Rei, which is made more clear when he cracks a very Misato-esque joke to Asuka about whether or not he brought pajamas. Another self-insert aspect in Cirus is the fact that he's always wearing black. I usually wear black, it's my favorite color. Of course, I have to poke fun at that too, and in this case, Cirus does it himself, admitting his clothing basically looks the same no matter what it is.

Once Cirus finally heads off to change, the fact that neither Asuka nor Shinji have actually seen his eyes yet comes up. Conscious of the previous scene in Kenosis where everyone basically interrogated Cirus across the dinner-table, I brought the issue back into the story, and had Misato make a point of avoiding such an 'ambush' again. Basically, I was just covering a 'mistake' in the writing of the story (the dinner-scene was a bit harsh, as I mentioned in the commentary for that part) by having it referenced within the story itself as abnormal. A fast fix that works well enough in my own view. When Rei rejoins the group, there is some basis for questioning if she would respond to Misato's question as she does. I think Ayanami-sama has been developed enough so far for her to simply say what she imagined Misato wanted to hear.

Again, I explicitly made the point about Cirus always wearing black, just in case the point didn't get across before. If you're drawing fan-art of Cirus, feel free to interpret as you like, but 'authentic' Cirus will be in most/all black. Portraying Ayanami-sama and Cirus as a couple is normal by this point in Kenosis, so the slumber party is no exception. Rei is comforted by Cirus' presence (and he hers), and that combined with her personal growth anyway allows her to interact in the party rather than staying at home like she would have in the series. Cirus sitting down beside her, and Rei being able to relax is simply an obvious demonstration of this development. That Rei smiles a bit to Shinji's joke is probably a far more drastic example of Rei's character-shift. As adorable as her smile is, Ayanami-sama just doesn't smile that often (the main point I wrote Kenosis for...)

I realized by the end of the original first story that I'd never explained either that or why Cirus didn't go to school with the others. So I tackled both in the interchange with Shinji and Asuka. Perhaps the comment on Cirus' use of 'some' is melodramatic or self-absorbed, but he has been through a tremendous deal more than most 14-year-olds. Rei's question is used to show a few things. First, Cirus is opening up and relaxing himself, more willing to let his life be shared. Second, Rei herself is opening up, willing to interact among others rather than just in isolation with Cirus. Third... it sets up Cirus showing Asuka and Shinji his eyes. Of course, their meeting where Rei first sees Cirus' eyes is a very personal matter, and Rei knows its especially so for Cirus, so she keeps it secret for his sake, which he notices and appreciates quite a bit.

Once Cirus reveals his eyes, Asuka and Shinji's reactions fade in importance compared to Rei's animated defense of Cirus. A bit of a temper, obvious concern, and a sympathetic understanding of how Cirus often feels about his eyes and others' reactions to them all flash out of Rei. Even with her development thus far, such an abrupt confrontation is surprising, even for me as I read. Hopefully that translates for the reader. Cirus, of course, is mature enough to not let gawking bother him, especially with Rei nearby, but her defense is just as touching as if he'd been seriously embarrassed and hurt. Cirus doesn't presume any care from Rei, so when she demonstrates it so obviously as this quick defense, he notices accutely.

Not that the reader would want to, but s/he could visualize hearing my voice squeal Misato's comments about Rei and Cirus' adorability as a couple right along with the Major. Ayanami-sama is just so CUTE. Cirus, of course, is quick to not presume a relationship, and explicity leaves it up to Rei when Misato makes a point of it. Asuka is just as fast to support the doubt, which causes a blunt, casual dismissal from the Major. Dimissing a small issue will usually let Asuka focus elsewhere, especially when her attention is readily drawn away (i.e. Kaji or sometimes Cirus.)

Once again: embarrassed Ayanami-sama=kawaii!!! Cirus naturally feels the same way I do on the matter, but is dealing with a 'real' situation rather than being an audience to the cuteness, so does the polite thing and covers for Rei's quick retreat to recover from her motification. Rather like her defense of him, Cirus' excuse for her to take a break from the discussion is particularly meaningful to her. As the reader may notice by this point, every time Asuka cuts in on Cirus and Rei together, Cirus retorts sharply. Being pulled away from Rei to focus on Asuka brings out Cirus' sour attitude faster than anything, and usually is the cause of most of his most insulting remarks to the red-haired pilot. Misato, however, is a bit of a maternal figure for Asuka, and won't let Cirus away with such remarks so easily, so she challenges him on where he was when she called Rei. Cires begins his usual stall-tactics, but this time Rei slices through the whole situation with her innocent directness I love so much. Though left high and floating, Cirus is just as adoring of her directness, and is happy to take the brunt of the consequence for being less than direct himself. Doesn't mean he's not awkward doing it, of course. Of course, Misato pressing the hot button just glaring after such a revelation as Cirus being at Rei's house (alone) causes Cirus to be a bit blunt in his own sensitivities. Though Cirus would never make a move on Rei, he's very aware of the possibility in others' minds... perhaps too much so, *chuckles*. Rei's calm innoncence diffuses any problems easily, and all that's left is Cirus' all-too-entertaining embarrassment.

The shift to milk and cookies is abrupt, but I think it works well enough. A swift change of pace, but not a disorienting one for the reader. One issue in this scene is the 'time' factor. Since Rei and Cirus arrived around 8:30 PM, it doesn't make much sense for it to be already midnight. Though I did intend for it be late at night, the use of 'midnight' could just as readily be an idiom for a fun treat at night with no specific time. A mistake on my part, yes, but I don't think it's too distracting. Something I would endeavor to smooth out or fix if I were to heavily revise Kenosis.

Though I enjoy the milk and cookies scene as a whole, it contains some of the most adorable moments of Ayanami-sama page-time in the entire story. The way she takes the cup and cookie, the way tries to eat it, of course the way Cirus helps her with the milk-mustache, and the lovely little scene where she reaches out and holds his hand near the mug of milk are all so sweet and cute. Shinji's noticing that Rei smiles like his mother seemed to flow naturally when I wrote the scene, and that 'motherhood' issue is brought up later in the story. The hand-hold scene, to be more specific, is intended as a big romantic moment for the couple. Any time I focus on one event from multiple perspectives (especially Rei and Cirus'), it's probably a scene I want to be important for the characters involved. Cirus, of course, is worried that he's taking Rei's affection too much for granted, and Rei is just deeply comforted by him, only anxious that he'll react too much to her touch. That Cirus doesn't react obviously is almost out of character, but helps to make the moment a bit magical, I think. I like it, and I wouldn't touch it even for revision.

Rei yawning is another adorable image I just love 'seeing'. She's like a little kitten... Kawaii! Such adorability seemed a good way to signal the final� of the original story, now just another chapter with an important scene. Asuka naturally complains when she learns Cirus and Rei will be left together, but there's little she can do on the matter. She probably didn't want to be reminded she was sharing a room with Shinji anyway, so it distracted her quickly enough to drop the issue.

I love this finishing sequence dearly, though it could only be conscienable for a couple like Ayanami-sama and Cirus, who really are focused on innocent aspects of intimacy. First, the chivalrous and sweet gesture of Cirus putting his blanket over Rei so she can stay warm. This seems the simple end for a while, but Rei wakes up later, and she knows he's right there, without a blanket, and his presence is always comforting. Cirus, once awake, of course doesn't assume he should share the blankets with Rei, but once she makes clear she's just lonely (with an adorable effort at pulling her hair back... so cute!), he's happy to stay close to her. So they lie down together, so cute and snuggling, and instead of 'no, thank you', Cirus says 'and', because he welcomes her as well. No better way to end, than with them simply drifting off into the land of dreams together. The sweetness and gentleness of their relationship is the real core of what lets me enjoy Kenosis. Read on, for the 'intro' for story two, the final� of Kenosis chapter 16.