Usually I pride myself on my sci-fi techno-babble, but explaning how a missile can shake an entire city without causing much damage finally stumped me, I admit. Effectively, the impact generated a force wave that didn't damage structures so much as pass through them. Enough to shake, but not destroy. Yeah... lame. I would likely fix the mistake by having alarms go off for Maya instead of actual shaking of the command center. Aside from establishing the lack of damage from the impact, this section only establishes the plot that humans are after NERV.

The interaction between Ikari and Fuyutsuki follows the usual format. Vague references to important things that annoy the audience unless they already know what's going to happen. Yes, Ikari is referring to handing over the pilots, and the 'one of them' is Cirus. Ikari is banking on Cirus' skills to get the pilots back alive while helping eliminate those responsible for the attack, which is explained more clearly at the end of the chapter.

Yes, I decided to use two airships before I actually had an excuse to do so. I needed the pilots alone (yes, I'd forgotten about the pilot of the ship), and then I realized an official trip probably would keep the pilots separate... sounds good anyway. I start the referencing of Cirus' spy-training right off, his 'instincts' kicking on and red-flags going off at the openess of the ships. Most of the dialogue is just character interaction, no real plot value, which is likely obvious. Of note is the interaction between Ayanami-sama, strangely absent from the chapter thus far, and Cirus in the ship. That he can actually lie to Rei is rather disturbing, even to me, but he's also confused and unsure himself. He's just anxious, and prefers not to let others worry about him, especially Ayanami-sama. I'm willing to bet the reader is almost as certain of the cause of the shake as Cirus is the moment it happens. I overdid the foreshadowing a bit, heh. Cirus is inspired from a 'James Bond' school of espionage, so his ability to fly a jet is assumed as part of his training. I know that's a stretch, but I think it flows logically enough. I broke the section with an ominous reference to Ikari's orders. This is really just cluing in Ritsuko and Misato rather than the reader.

I can understand why the reader would wonder at Cirus' risk of dying just to save the pilot. His reasoning is simple. He knows he can possibly land the plane, and doesn't want the pilot to die. He takes the risk, and his only regret is that it might backfire for Ayanami-sama. Seeing Rei shocked gives me a little wince of guilt even now. Cirus realizes a little too late he might not be able to land safely, and that realization provides a conveniently vexing cliff-hanger between sections.

The pilot of the plane became a source of amusing foolishness for me in the original draft of this scene. Why? I completely forgot about him. Yeah, completely. I wrote the entire sequence after the initial attack as if he wasn't there at all (I didn't think he was, heh...). Such a huge error I *had* to fix, so yes, in Kenosis this is the most extensively revised section. Back to the plot, I continue to focus on Rei's shock and then complete confusion at Cirus' apparent death. Originally, this was intended as a dramatic kick-start to the second story. Now it is a jarring dramatic hike in the plot of a larger arc. Either way, I like it (so long as it's temporary for poor Ayanami-sama. She just tugs heart-strings so well when she's sad...) I never intended for Rei to hate Shinji, I think it's charming she loves him in the series when I look at the series on its own. For Kenosis, she still loves him a great deal, just not romantically. So, when it comes to Rei, I'm a bit softer on Shinji, and let him have some actual page time (*smirk*). Shinji's comfort to Rei provided a convenient lead into the attack of the militia. In turn, this became a great re-entrance for Cirus, demonstrating his capacities outside of an Eva. Naturally, being so intuitive, Rei is simply relieved to see him alived, not alarmed at his violence. Cirus' violent aspect would only frighten or worry Rei if it became unreasonable (i.e. psychotic), another point where Cirus is very guilty and Rei would in fact be quite understanding.

Considering I'm trying to show off Cirus' 'cold, calculating' side, it makes little sense for him to leave the soldier alive even with everyone there to see it. In fact, because he has more people to protect, it almost demands he kill the soldier, but he doesn't, not wanting them to see that. Cirus knows he's a child, but knows he's experienced more than most children, so he tries to spare them that. And he simply doesn't want to give Rei nasty mental images or memories. The sequence with the four new soldiers dropping in is probably the heart of this demonstration of Cirus' skill. That said, it also let me show off some more valiant aspects of Asuka, Shinji, and Rei all three. Rei remains calm and collected, of course, and takes advantage of the opening Shinji makes after Asuka already puts the last soldier on the defensive. Using Cirus' eyes as psychological war-fare was too tempting to pass up, so the last soldier gets a stare into their black depths. When all is said and done, I show Cirus' more mature side in complimenting Shinji's efforts. Personally... I'd be inclined to just ignore the brat, but I'm rude that way.

Starting with their departure from the clearing is where I originally forgot about the ship-pilot completely. So every time the pilot is referenced from here to the finish is an edit made either for Kenosis or a recent edition of the second story. Asuka spranging her ankle seemed a great oppurtunity to put her and Shinji together for an extender period of time, and, ironically, the pilot I forgot about originally made it all the more believable for Shinji to help her rather than Cirus. Asuka blushing seemed a good place to break up the chapter for geocities.