Rei stopping short, after expecting Cirus anyway, is a bit odd, yes, but I wrote it because it showed how much she delved into the cooking, forgetting the world around her. Naturally, Cirus is his disarming, polite self around Ayanami-sama, and I just had to have him give Rei flowers. Beyond simply being sweet, and Rei's adorable sniffing gesture, it's an excuse for more adorableness when she can't decide what to do with them in the kitchen. Rei's abrupt embarrassment and awkwardness is the most direct show of her newly growing emotions. She wants her time with Cirus to go well, something to which, I think, most people can relate. Cirus finds her all the more adorable for her awkwardness, and almost tips the glass over. Kawaii.
Unable to resist the 'awkward moment' drive all anime-romance writers seem to have, the moment where Cirus grabs the pot around Rei's hands is just classic. Thoughtless, intimate contact. So cute. Rei, of course, doesn't feel in the least bit odd about it, and so Cirus can hide his embarrassment. Rei putting them at the corner of the table instead of across shows she likes to have Cirus close, much to his further embarrassment.
Though I never state it, Cirus is Catholic. His brief moment of closed-eye silence is a Grace before eating. I don't like cowering away from such things in stories, but honestly, this is a bit of a cop-out, and neither expresses the idea properly, nor spares the audience the oddity of the action. I'd fix it to be more explicit, perhaps have Rei ask what he's doing, but, again, I'm not doing any major revisions anymore. And, of course, I just had to drive home her wonderful cooking a little more with some explicit description of scruptious sushi-goodness.
Ah, the neck-massage. This is probably the only time Cirus actually pushes something on Rei in a non-life threatening situation, and that's why he feels guilty afterward. That Rei very much enjoyed the massage is of no concern... he didn't let her say yes or no, he just did it. And it involved touching her, which makes the whole thing much worse in his own eyes.
And finally the discussion between them starts which will eventually answer almost all of the questions about Cirus and their relationship. I had a few set issues I knew I wanted to cover, but most of the dialogue was ad-libbed as-written, to flow naturally. Rei's intuition gets a characterization from her perspective ("I can see it easily."), Cirus starts opening up about his feelings about her, and Rei finally comes to the point of why he's so scared of her. I just love how Rei gets down in front of Cirus while he's struggling in his own self-pity, and takes him out of it with just a touch of his cheek. Rei could control Cirus better with her pinky than an army of Evas. At last, he tells her how beautiful she is. Her adorable blush and surprised expression are always crystal clear to me in her response.
The whole sequence is quite mushy, yes, and, honestly, I can tell myself the dialogue needs a little work here and there. A little too heavy on the mush, not enough flow. Mush can work with good flow, and this scene dangerously reaches across the line more than once, just shy of totally ruining it. Yes, Cirus is a bit over-done in his adoration of Rei, but that was always quite deliberate. I wanted her to have someone who cared absolutely about her, no doubt, no emptiness, just love for her, to make up for the lack of it in the rest of her life, and give her a real, happy relationship.
When Rei grabs onto his neck in a hug, its possibly my favorite dialogue interchange between the two in Kenosis. When Rei says "I think you deserve this" I re-melt, and I'm the one that wrote it. Sooo sweet. She's adorable. Ayanami-sama! And I can just see her little smile, nod, the shake of her hair with it, as she repeats it, "You do." And, I finally have a joke about the 'thank you/no thank you' interchange Cirus always had with her up to this point, reversing it. Only Rei could pull off the standing "Are you well now?" so naturally. It's just so her to be that cute. Cirus' laugh is very much in the same humor as the reader, if shared. She's just so adorably naive it's refreshing.
And it's time to explain Unit 14 and Cirus' relationship. I'm always intrigued to know how surprised a reader is when going through this scene for the first time. To be clear, Cirus and Unit 14 are two bodies with the same Soul. Cirus is the Soul's container, and Unit 14 has all the unnatural power, but really its one being with two heads, torsos, four arms, and legs. Unit 14 is Cirus, Cirus is Unit 14. The title, 'Kenosis', is about how the various characters in the story, but especially Cirus and Rei, empty themselves for each other, and thus are fulfilled. I use this narration and interchange to explicitly make a few of my arguments against the Evangelion canon. Rei is a complete human being, her Soul came from G'd, though her body was manufactured through recombinative cloning. Just because Ikari has a plan for her, doesn't mean that's G'd's plan for her. And, egotistical writer that I am, my plan for her is how I portray 'G'd's plan' for her. She'll have a good life, grow old, be happy... not be a mere key to some apocolyptic craziness dreamed up by a bunch of 'old men'.
The phone call interrupts realistically, I felt, and, abrupt as it is, I think functions quite well to move to the next scene. Misato's dedication to sincerity shines through this time, not pulling a fast one on poor Cirus, whom she could easily guilt-trip into coming by telling Rei he would only come if she did right off the bat. Naturally, Rei herself forces the truth out... and doesn't mind at all, she's quite happy and surprised Cirus is so openly happy in her company. That point is never explicitly made to her until now. Ending the part on appreciation for Ayanami-sama seemed a good spot.