Chapter 14: "The Perfect Expression"; part 1 Commentary

Due to the number of Ayanami-sama-centered scenes in this chapter, it's safely one of my favorites. The opening is one of my absolute favorites scenes in the entirety of Kenosis, but, again, I can see why it would make many readers nervous on first read. The issue of how far I take romance is already settled in the previous commentaries, so I won't rehash it here. The scene itself establishes outright that Rei is comforted by Cirus. She feels safe with him, and she cherishes that sensation. Cirus, of course, could justify keeping her company to recover from a nightmare, but by morning, she's obviously just enjoying being close, which is putting Cirus in the very anxiety the reader may have. The innocent intimacy is again core here, as this scene is very much a continuation of the end of the last chapter. Kenosis was originally written without chapter breaks, so yes, they were originally one scene with a section break to show elapsed time. I just adore the moment when Rei reminds Cirus that he may touch her, and the conversation they have as a result. I think Rei's line 'could you please stay...' is a major worry-marker for a first-time reader, but she means it in a purely innocent context. His presence is deeply soothing to her, though she's still unsure why. The end of the section is a personal revelation for Rei, letting her know that Cirus truly, deeply cares about her, not a team-mate, pilot, or tool, but Rei herself. I'm officially starting to create romantic feelings here, an actual relationship with Cirus, not just a person with whom she feels safe.

The battle with Traumifel is very important, despite how silly the Angel's name is. I... was running low on name ideas, and couldn't find an adequate replacement with a real Angel name. The 'attack' on Unit 01 is just a visual representation of the Angels mental assault. Its show Shinji the nightmare again, probably more intense, focusing on the hatred he fears in others. Eye-symbology is hard to miss in the actual series and movies, so I felt having the Angel's first characteristic be glowing spots of light fit quite well. Effectively this Angel must 'lock on' to a given target to take on his/her fear and apply it against him/her. Naturally, I was most interested in getting to Rei's and revealing Cirus' fear in the battle, so Shinji is dealt with quickly, and Asuka I use as a trade-off to avoid making it look like my new character is taking over completely. Yes, I did intend to do more with Ritsuko in command while Misato tended to Shinji... but it just didn't work out that way *chuckles*. Regarding how the Angel could get to the test-plugs, I thought little justification was needed. Since an Angel was a computer virus evolution machine, the idea of this one possessing LCL seemed as logical as any.

Asuka's fear is a bit of a joke to the audience of the actual anime, especially the End of Evangelion movie. Effectively, the 'nightmare' sequence is the actual sequence from the movie, that I replaced at the start of Kenosis. The author's view of the movie's events is quite clear, yes? *chuckles* And regarding why the Angel doesn't just make itself invincible the whole time... It could only have lasted that way with Asuka for a few more minutes anyway, the timing was such that it didn't have to call her bluff, and it could very well have killed her before that time came, so Cirus' action is still justified objectively in the story.

When Ayanami-sama finally takes aim with her rifle, I had to take care to point out she was not overly afraid or unreasonable. Her fear is losing control to Ikari at the cost of her (now) friend's life. Hence the shot is her fear, not the Angel. Cirus, of course, cuts in for her sake, and takes responsbility. This is why Cirus and Ikari speak as much as they do. I wanted to make the point of her actual fear explicit. Cirus still doesn't presume Rei is overly attached to him, so he maintains an objective look at his life in comparison to defeating the Angel, and enters the fray focused and ready. Of course, things don't occur as he planned, and that cliff-hanger is where part one ends.


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