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.: Character Profiles :. Written
by: elfboy (in Dolby THX Surround sound, where available) Location:
18 miles off the coast of Japan It was meant to be the fashion bonanza of the year as Polo Ralph Lauren's Blue fragrance drew in Papparazzi, celebrities, and most importantly, the Model Men to the yacht. The storm had suddenly come out of nowhere. The crew of the yacht worked furiously, trimming the sails and bolting down the hatches. The passengers inside the yacht were still partying down below deck, though the rocking motion of the boat made it hard to remain standing. Skysenshi:
Where did this storm come from? Meanwhile, our ultra fashionable & good looking heroes, Male Model #1, Bluemaxx and Male Model #2, elfboy sandwiched Firesenshi to keep her from falling down. Firesenshi:
I'm already sitting down! Bluemaxx & elfboy were only dressed in the swimming trunks they were supposed to model tonight. Bluemaxx:
I'm so honored that they launched a whole fragrance after me, but I'm
disappointed that the world couldn't see my newest pose, "Blue Otter". Just then the boat was rocked violently, causing lots of famous and rich people go tumbling sideways, oh look, that's Elton John. Elton John (singing): That Bluemaxx... he's so hot! I guess that's why they call it the Blue's~ And there goes "Blue" tumbling after Elton John. Blue (singing): One Love~ That Bluemaxx... he's so hot! Meanwhile Captain:
I need more power! Skysenshi & Ichi made their way into the bridge. Skysenshi:
What's going on, Captain? Potty: Cap'n.
Sum'th'ngs appear'd on th' rad'r. Everyone looked out and through the rain they saw it. Skysenshi picked up her two way compact and called Firesenshi. Skysenshi:
You three get up here now. elfboy, Firesenshi & Bluemaxx made their way up to the bridge soon after. Firesenshi:
What the heck is that?! In the rain, stood the biggest multi-tentacled Mecha they had ever seen! It stood there like a colossus, a towering giant, or some really really big thing. The boat was suddenly released from it's grasp. Skysenshi:
Quick, we've got to warn the women of Japan of this thing! Meanwhile, OctoSoshi looked at the giant map of the world, as hundreds of red bulbs across the map blinked. A technician was adding another 27 bulbs to the map. OctoSoshi: Eheheheh... (rubs hands together) so, yet another 27 Sushi Surprise Franchises have opened. Hohohoho! Now, nothing will stop me from getting the... Bright colorful streamers and loud music came on as OctoSoshi posed dramatically. Octososhi: ...THE LEGENDARY SUSHI OF HAPPINESS!!! All of OctoSoshi's employees applauded their leader's zeal. All except for OctoSoshi's sidekick, BishieBoy (no relation to elfboy). BishieBoy:
Ano... why are we looking for the legendary sushi... Bright colorful streamers and loud music came on as OctoSoshi posed dramatically. OctoSoshi:
...THE LEGENDARY SUSHI OF HAPPINESS!!! Bright colorful streamers and loud music came on as OctoSoshi & BishieBoy posed dramatically. BishieBoy: THE LEGENDARY SUSHI OF HAPPINESS!!! to protect the... Suddenly the background turned dark, filled with images of flowing Lava and erupting Volcanoes. BishieBoy: ...DARK SUSHI OF GLOBAL DOMINATION!!! OctoSoshi:
You don't have to be so overly dramatic. OctoSoshi turned to the world map and ordered the technician. OctoSoshi:
Hohoho! Power up the LEGENDARY GOLDEN SUSHI OF HAPPINESS FINDER!!! OctoSoshi pointed at the Sushi Bar. Solid Snake was busy talking with Otakon. Solid Snake:
Otakon, I've made it to the sushi bar. Now what? OctoSoshi: No, it is fated only two men can stop me. Darn those meddling Model... Somebody rang a countertop bell and Soshi turned back to the front desk and bowed. OctoSoshi: Arigatou Gozaimasu. Please come again. Hope you enjoyed your meal. When the customer had left, Soshi turned back to her World Map. OctoSoshi:
Mwahahaha, with my LEGENDARY GOLDEN SUSHI OF HAPPINESS FINDER... OctoSoshi pulled on a rope, causing a heavy anvil to crush the technician. OctoSoshi: LEGENDARY GOLDEN SUSHI OF HAPPINESS FINDER, the Model Men will be sorry if they try to mess with me!!! Meanwhile, "Blue" & Elton John: Sorry seems to be~ the HARDest word~ That Bluemaxx... he's so hot! Firesenshi: Okay, I've contacted IceSenshi & BlogMaxx (the two newest additions to Model Men, please buy their action figures now) and those two have designed something for us to battle that Giant Multi-Tentacled Mecha! elfboy: I'm
so glad that we've now got two Tech Wizards working for us. To those who came in late, BlogMaxx is Bluemaxx's younger (but ultra kawaii) brother. IceSenshi on the other hand... uh, well, she's new. (Please buy their action figures, now for only $1999.99 with shipping). Skysenshi:
So are they going to use the Model Men Satellite to beam down our equipment? Fire, Sky, elfboy, Bluemaxx & Ichi: POWER EXTREME!!! Random anime fan: Centurions rip-off. That Bluemaxx... he's so hot! Our five heroes were enveloped in a bright shining light, as their equipment, beamed directly from Model Men Agency HQ to the yacht attached themselves to our heroes. When the glowing light faded, our five heroes came out in different martial arts poses. Firesenshi:
Why am I dressed in Pink? The five Power... I mean Model Men... uh... Damn, they ARE dressed like Power Rangers!!! Firesenshi: Remind me to kill Icesenshi & Blogmaxx when we get back. [to be continued] Oh no! Sushi plans on taking over the world with her... (dramatic flowing lava and erupting volcanoes in the background) DARK SUSHI OF GLOBAL DOMINATION!!! and the only people who can stop her giant Multi-tentacled Mecha (Metal Gear OctoSoshi Ray) are dressed as the Power Rangers!!! The fate of the world (as well as innocent Japanese High School Girls) rests on their shoulders. [More next installment] Written
by: Bluemaxx When we last saw our really-really good looking heroes were in big trouble, in the form of a very big mecha thingy with tentacles. Fortunately using the latest transportation-morphing technology developed by Icesenshi and BlogMaxx has turned our really-really good looking heroes….into the Power Power Models….. Firesenshi:I
am Pink Power Model! (Catherine Zeta Jones pose) For a moment….the sea seems to have stop moving as if shocked by the actions of the Model Men a few seconds ago. A few second later, the sea began to return to normal and rock the boat again. Captain:In
all my years at sea…….this be truly the weirdest thing I have
ever seen…. Firesenshi:Tell
me afain why did we have to do THAT just now? The multi-tentacled mecha monster creature; Metal Gear Octososhi Ray, blinked a few times trying to comprehend what the hell has happened just now……A moment later, it roared and is headed straight to the ship, NC-17 ENTERprize. All the people inside the boat began to panic…..that includes our really-relaly good-looking heroes too. Skysenshi:Aghh!!!That
thing is headed our way!I hate tentacles!!! Skysenshi:Waitaminute!This
is a ship right?Surely you have some weapons aboard? Mr. Potty then took something from the ship’s cabinet and took aim at the Mecha Tentacle Monster. Taking aim, Mr. Potty fired and hit the creature between the eyes…..with his flare gun. The Mecha monster somehow manages to create a large sweat drop (with the absent of pore glands….which is quite amazing) and gave Mr. Potty a “What the hell are you doing?” look. Captain:Is
it dead? Suddenly, the monster mecha roared and lashes out its 8 metal tentacles onto the ship trying to capture anything it can reach. The Model Men and the ship’s crew managed to dodge all the tentacles with super fast cat-like reflexes. None of them wants to know what will happen to them if they do get caught by those metallic tentacles. Elton John and BLUE (the group) suddenly entered the bridge trying to dodge the tentacles too. Elton: Darn! I was hoping that Bluemaxx would get caught and be ‘tentacled’ by that silly thing….. Bluemaxx shudders and suddenly misses the wooden Trojan Horse from the previous episode. Elfboy on the other hand, suddenly became more afraid as members of BLUE(the pop boy band group) started to surround him…..with big shiny eyes and blushing oh so sweetly.(Ewww!!!) Skysenshi:Aghhh!!
Doesn’t anyone here know how to beat this stupid tentacled thing?!! Firesenshi contacted Icesenshi and BlogMaxx via her high-tech GPS thong (available for only $2999.90 if you call now) and soon a blinding flash filled the bridge room. For some reason….Icesenshi’s and BlogMaxx’s voices were suddenly heard in the room. Icesenshi&BlogMaxx’s voice: POWER EXTREME-treme-treme-treme-treme…..*echo effect* Now…Elton
John all dressed in a Japanese schoolgirl uniform is seen in the middle
of the bridge room; complete with short skirt (fuku?), his trademark dopey
big glasses and all. Elton:Hey….how
did my legs get shaved?Ooohhh…its so smooth….want to touch
it?*winks at Bluemaxx* Firesenshi:Quick
throw him overboard! The Model Men did just as Firesenshi said and soon the mecha tentacle monster turned its attention (and all 8 of its long tentacles) to Elton John(still dressed in schoolgirl outfit).Elton’s screams of terror and pain filled the air…… Captain:
Oh my God…that thing is killing him!(points at Metal Gear Octososhi
Ray) Was suddenly
replaced with moans of lust and pleasure….. Skysenshi:Good
work,fire.That’ll keep that thing busy while we escape…..How
did you know that’ll work? True to her words……a Giant Squid appeared beside the mecha monster. It gave a perverted look at Elton John and began wrestling with the mecha monster machine…obviously trying to take away Elton John. Back at Octososhi’s Secret HQ OctoSoshi:Curse those handsome Model Men!I swear soon they will pay the ultimate price!!!I swear…. Customer:..Excuse
me….how much is the bill on table 5? As soon as the customer left….Soshi turns on back her World Map and continues her evil scheming… OctoSoshi:Now where was I?Ah yes…..I swear I’ll defeat those Model Men and find the… Bright colorful
streamers and loud music came on as OctoSoshi posed dramatically. At Bishieboy’s personal quarters in OctoSoshi’s Secret Global Domination HQ Bishieboy
along with several male and female technicians are seen kneeling on the
floor facing a very large portrait of Bishieboy:Are
all the members present? The room was then filled with the sounds of moans and chantings….. All: Ommmmm……Ommmmm…..He’s so hot….Ommmmm…Ommmmmm….That Bluemaxx…Ommmmm…Ommmmmm…..He’s so hot…. This continued for half an hour…..until Bishieboy turns on his home entertainment unit and plays the formal ritual worshipping music for Bluemaxx…..Sexual Chocolate’s “You Sexy Thing.” I believe
in Miracles… Bishieboy and several technicians (male and female) starts dancing wildly as if in some trance…… I believe
in Miracles….. We’ll leave Bishieboy and friends alone for now……things get weirder….thats for sure. (^_^U) ~To Be Continued~ What will
happen next? Will Octosushi
get her revenge on our handsome heroes? Will Ichi
get over his Power Ranger/Model mode? Find out on the next chapter of Model Men! Same Model Time! Same Model Station! (^_^) Written
by: elfboy Thanks to the selfless sacrifice of Elton John... Elton John: Woo hoo woo hoo... oh oh oh! (writhes in esctacy) As I was saying, selfless sacrifice of Elton John, our really really good looking Model Men Heroes (and the crew of the ENTERprize) made it back to land safely. Location:
Back on dry land Skysenshi: We must protect this beautiful land and the beautiful maidens who go to Inner City High Schools! We must stop that really really Big Gigantic Multi-Tentacled Mecha before it destroys this wonderful city! Little Boy:
Mommy! Mommy! Look at that crazy lady talking to herself. Skysenshi: (-_-U) Skysenshi turned around and saw that all of the Model Men had left her and were walking towards a Fast Food Sushi Place. Firesenshi:
I'm really really hungry. As our heroes approached the Sushi restaurant, they spotted a young Chinese kid dressed in red, with a red bandanna on his head, accompanied by a babealicious uh... I mean vivacious curvalicious... uh... I mean girl standing at the entrance. Girl: Mao,
is this the place you're looking for? elfboy: *AHEM*!
Sorry to interrupt, but this story is about us really really good looking
super sexy heroes, not Super Chefs, so please stop talking and please
enter the Sushi restaurant. You're blocking the entrance. elfboy looked up and showed the girl his "El Cockatoo" look. Girl: Ahhh... it's so beautiful... *faints into Mao's arms* Our Model Men enter the Sushi Surprise Franchise, and are greeted by BishieBoy dressed up as a talking Salmon Mascot. BishieBoy: Welcome, welcome. Please come in and... *GASP*!!! BishieBoy spotted Bluemaxx, his Hentai Ecchi God of Modelling! BishieBoy: BluBluBluBluBlu... BishieBoy (with his Salmon costume fins) hugged Bluemaxx's leg! BishieBoy:
OOOOoohhh That Bluemaxx... He's SOOOOO HOTTTT! I am not worthy! I am not
worthy! Just then, Cooking Master Chef, Mao (with his lovely assistant/chick-o-rama) entered the restaurant. OctoSoshi immediately recognized the youngest Super Chef in Chinese History who was out to stop her evil plan for Global Domination and on a quest to... elfboy: *AHEM* Me again. Please, let's just move on to the part where we look really really good looking, okay? OctoSoshi:
Liu Mao Hsing. How dare you show your face to me?! OctoSoshi: MY NAME IS NOT SUSHI!!! I accept your challenge you 'short order cook'! (in reference to Mao's height... or lack thereof) I will make you all suffer with my... The background turned dark, filled with images of flowing Lava and erupting Volcanoes. OctoSoshi: ...DARK SUSHI OF GLOBAL DOMINATION!!! Come BishieBoy. BishieBoy was still holding on to Bluemaxx, who with elfboy were looking at all the sushi go around and around on the conveyor belt. elfboy: Look!
There it goes again! A little
later, Mao and OctoSoshi were standing at similar Teppanyaki grills. Mao picked all the freshest ingredients, fresh salmon sliced thinly into fillets, with wild mountain truffles, bean sprouts dipped in lye water to retain the magical ability of bean sprouts (namely to look like enlarged sper... uh, forget I said anything). OctoSoshi on the other hand was deep in meditation, gathering all her ingredients to make her... DARK SUSHI OF GLOBAL DOMINATION!!! The cooking was fast and furious, as ingredients that were chopped up from one end of the counter, defied the laws of physics and sailed from the cutting board to land amazingly as completed sushi! Time was soon up, and both Mao and OctoSoshi held up their respective dishes. OctoSoshi: Behold! All shall tremble before the might of my... DARK SUSHI OF GLOBAL DOMINATION!!! (best served with wasabi & soy sauce). Mao just nodded knowingly but kept his dish hidden from view while OctoSoshi served up the... DARK SUSHI OF (you know what it is) to the Model Men. After completing the first of many sushis. Bluemaxx:
Wow! Delicious! I give it 888 stars out of 888 stars! OctoSoshi: (^_^U) Uh, maybe I didn't put enough Dark Sushi in... A leaving customer rang the countertop bell and everything changed. Suddenly the Model Men (and BishieBoy) went to various corners of the restaurant and snarled threateningly at each other. elfboy: I'm
gonna box you Bluemaxx! I'm gonna whup your ass from here to Candyland
NEXT WEEK on SMACKUP! available only through Pay-per-view!!! In the background the crowd held out placards with signs like "Firesenshi Will You Marry Me?" and "elfboy 3:16" and "Can you smell what the Cook is Rocking?". Skysenshi:
Ichi! Come out here and fight me, unless you're not man enough to take
me on!! Firesenshi and BishieBoy looked at their Dark Sushi, turned to each other and threw it away. BishieBoy:
Oooh that Bluemaxx, he's so hot! Beat up elfboy! OctoSoshi held her fingers up in a victory sign. OctoSoshi: Yeah! Beat that, Chefman Mao! Mao unveiled his secret dish. Mao: If you think you've won, think again! Presenting the... Bright colorful streamers and loud music came on as Mao posed dramatically. Mao: LEGENDARY GOLDEN SUSHI OF HAPPINESS!!! Everyone was blinded by the intense golden light that the Sushi of Happiness gave out. Mao handed out the Sushi to the Model Men. Bluemaxx:
Wow. This Sushi is so hot! Skysenshi:
This LEGENDARY GOLDEN SUSHI OF HAPPINESS makes me feel more like a woman. Bright colorful streamers and loud music came on as OctoSoshi posed dramatically. OctoSoshi: THE LEGENDARY GOLDEN SUSHI OF HAPPINESS?! How do you know how to make that?! Mao's girlfriend/assistant/chick-o-rama/sex appeal, Mei Li answered. Mei Li: Of course my darling Mao knows how to make that! He's the only one in the world who knows how to make that! OctoSoshi:
Really? OctoSoshi pulled on a rope, crushing the flattened Technician with another anvil. OctoSoshi: LEGENDARY GOLDEN SUSHI OF HAPPINESS FINDER... destroy Cooking Master Boy!!! Suddenly this huge multi-tentacled Mecha appeared and with one of his tentacles grabbed hold of Mao. It wanted to grab Mao's girlfriend... but she wasn't in Japanese High School uniform, so maybe next time. As Mao disappeared into Metal Gear OctoSoshi Ray, OctoSoshi laughed malevolently. OctoSoshi: Mwahahahaha! Now NOTHING will be able to stop my... The background turned dark, filled with images of flowing Lava and erupting Volcanoes. OctoSoshi & BishieBoy: ...DARK SUSHI OF GLOBAL DOMINATION!!! Skysenshi:
Don't be so sure! We'll beat you yet! OctoSoshi's cash register rang. BishieBoy: Ano, please pay your bill. Thank you for eating at Sushi Surprise Franchise. Please come again. Skysenshi looked at the bill. Skysenshi: ... (o_O) Who the heck ordered the Pufferfish Sushi?! elfboy and Bluemaxx looked round, their mouths full of pufferfish sushi. As they talked, pufferfish sushi spilled forth. elfboy (with
mouth full): Yeah. Who ordered pufferfish sushi? Meanwhile, outside Metal Gear OctoSoshi Ray was rampaging through Tokyo! It was knocking down buildings and power lines. Our Model Men rushed out of the restaurant. Firesenshi:
We've got to destroy that thing!!! Bluemaxx:
But how can we rescue him? He's inside that multi-tentacled monster now! 20 minutes
later Skysenshi: Are you guys ready? Come out, come out! Ichi & Bluemaxx came out of the public restroom first. They were dressed as... JAPANESE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS!!! Ichi: ....
(subtitles: I told you I wasn't going to like this idea). Bluemaxx saw him come out of the restroom. Bluemaxx looked at elfboy who was wearing a horrible yellow wig and had a five o'clock shadow. Bluemaxx:
Man! elfboy, you're hideous. Bluemaxx turned around to see elfboy who looked like a kawaii Japanese School Girl. He turned around again to look at the Dave Grohl in drag lookalike. The Drag Queen spoke in a low manly voice. Drag Queen:
How about I show you a good time, honey. Firesenshi:
Now how are we going to attract the attention of that Multi-tentacled
thing?! Bluemaxx pulled elfboy towards the middle of a cross-junction. Then he bent over and rubbed his body sexily. Bluemaxx:
Oh yeah, big tentacle thingie. I want you, I want you now! OctoSoshi Ray turned to look at Bluemaxx, and his eyes turned into giant heart shapes. It walked towards Bluemaxx and friends. In the distance, Firesenshi and Skysenshi looked at Bluemaxx.
Skysenshi:
It's working! [To be continued] So, our Model Men must venture into OctoSoshi Ray, to rescue the one Cooking Master Boy who knows how to save the world from OctoSoshi! What awaits them when they... ENTER the Dark Unknown? Elton John:
Whee... So many boys are coming in! I'm going to have so much fun. Oooh,
is that your tentacle or are you just happy to see me? [More next installment] Written
by Bluemaxx When we last saw our really really really good looking heroes, Octososhi Ray has rampaging through Tokyo after capturing Super Chef Mao. Fortunately enough, The Model Men was there to cross-dress into Japanese schoolgirls and face off with the tentacled mecha menace…… Bluemaxx:
Tentacle-san!!!Yoohooo!!!Here!Here! (bents down and shows some panties) Suddenly 3 large metal tentacles pick the 3 hot looking cross-dressed men and swallowed them up in a single swift move. That caused the crowd of desperate Japanese men(with all sorts of cameras) who were gathering behind Male Model#1 Bluemaxx, Male Model#2 elfboy and ichi to flee and run for cover from Octososhi Ray(yeah…show’s over,ya pervs!) Skysenshi:Aghhh!!!!
That thing swallowed my ichi-honey!(starts to get teary eyed) And just
when he started to look damn right sexy in that schoolgirl uniform too!!! At
a nearby US military base in Japan Meanwhile….somewhere
within Octososhi Ray; Our 3 almost
naked sexy men turned around and saw one hot looking woman in tight red
and white military uniform sitting on a command chair. Behind her, are
several other hot looking Japanese women all dressed in traditional red
kimono outfits with the logo of Soshi King behind them. Elfboy:I’m
sorry….you talking to me?(snaps out of daydreaming…) Just as she
was about to deactivate the energy cage barrier off….her mind snaps
into action and stops her from doing so. Suddenly
klaxons and sirens began to blare from within Octososhi Ray’s command
room.
Soshi comes
in and wipes the tears from the senshi’s table…. The 2 hot looking senshi’s continued their mourning and crying , unaware of the large moving mecha behind them that is advancing towards the still rampaging Octososhi ray. The other large mecha was more humanoid in shape;standing 65 feet tall,resembling more like a bronze coloured Fabio clad only in some very tight loincloth. Enter Ultramaxx……. On board
the Ultramaxx…… Blogmaxx:How
dare you eat my Blubluniichan!!! Only I get to do that…… On
board the Octososhi Ray……
To Be Continued~ Written
by elfboy Our really really good looking heroes were thrown into a dark room without a light. Except for Bluemaxx, who was wearing the Princess Leia Slave Girl outfit from "Return of the Jedi". He had a choker and the chain was in elfbabes hand. Bluemaxx: How do I get into these outfits? Okay, the sight of Bluemaxx in the Princess Leia Slave Girl costume is too yaoi for me, I'll hand the writing duties to our Resident Yaoi Expert, Skysenshi. Okay, Skysenshi here. And it's your duty to shake your booties model men. So lets see. Meanwhile, our two remaining yaoi men enter the awaiting cavern, their bodies sweaty from the effort, shimmying up the massive throbbing tentacle, elfboy (sex-toy) and Ichi (love slave) come to the door. The door slid open and they entered. What they found shocked all of them! elfboy & Ichi: (o_O) (O_o) (O_O) Mao:
HEEELLLP! You must rescue me! elfboy & Ichi: (o_O) (O_O) Mao:
HELP ME!!! Quick before he finishes! elfboy & Ichi: (O_O) Mao:
HELP!!! Please stop Elton. Please!!! Mao:
Please Elton... could you please stop licking that sausage? Elton John finished off the last of the sausages Cooking Master Boy, Mao had cooked for him. Then, Kenny G music came on, and all our stars started taking off their clothes... yeah, lets have some yaoi actio... *BANG* (TEMPORARY TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE HOLD ON WHILE WE RECTIFY THE PROBLEM.) Hello, elfboy here (hides frying pan). Sorry about that earlier, but Skysenshi went where no man should ever go. So now lets return to the story. elfboy: Okay,
Ichi you take Cooking Master Boy, Mao back to Boss Skysenshi & Hottie
Firesenshi. Elton John took elfboy's arm and pulled him towards the Darkness. Meanwhile,
Heheh, Skysenshi here again (hides bigger frying pan). I'll take over now. elfbabes: Dance for me Bluemaxx. Shake your bonny bon bons...eh. Bluemaxx was unable to resist elfbabes commands, as he twirled and shimmied and shook all over the control room. He even had little tassles on his bra that he kept swinging round and round. Female
Technician: Ooh yeah, shake that bon bon, shake your bon bon. The male Technician stuck a $5 note down Bluemaxx's Utility Thong... which returned $4.50 change Just as it was getting to the good part (where Bluemaxx picks up the imaginary soap he dropped on the floor, with his butt cheeks), ULTRAMAXX rammed the Metal Gear OctoSoshi Ray from behind! From the outside, the Metal Gear OctoSoshi Ray was being rammed by UltraMaxx from behind. Skysenshi:
Oh wow! About time I had a Yaoi fest on this show! In the confusion, elfboy was shaken free from Elton John's grasp. Taking advantage of the situation, elfboy shot Spider Webbing from his Utility Thong. Yes, it REALLY IS SPIDER WEBBING!! The sticky goo quickly strapped Elton John to the mass of tentacles he was playing with just minutes before. elfboy: I don't like the idea of shooting Gooey stuff from my Utility Thong, but anything to escape those tentacles... and spectacles! Elton John: Oooh Oooh Tentacles ~~~~~ Mao: Quick! I need to defeat OctoSoshi!!! Meanwhile
in her trailer OctoSoshi:
Where's my next scene?! Location:
Sushi Surprise Franchise Mao:
You're going down! You're going down to China Town! Dark sinister lava flowed and volcanoes erupted in the background as Soshi & BishieBoy posed dramatically. Soshi & BishieBoy: DARK SUSHI OF GLOBAL DOMINATION! Soshi ordered BishieBoy to pounce on Mao, but Mei Li (Mao's Babelicious Girlfriend... Reoowr! uh I mean) intercepted him. As they fell into a clinch on the floor they both fought for domination and the desire to be on top. Mao and Soshi meanwhile took out their magical utensils and prepared to do battle as a ring announcer stepped in between them. Announcer: In this corner, the challenger, wearing red, he is the Super Boy Chef from China, The Red Dragon, LIIIUUUUU MAAAOOOO Hsing!!!! The crowd in the background cheered wildly as they held out placards with the words "Kick some Soshi!" and "Mao 3:16" and "Can you smell what the Mao is cooking?" Announcer: And in this corner, the undisputed evil Sushi chef of the Underworld, the Salmon Surprise Princess, The White Fish Roe, OCCCCTOOOOSUUUUUSHHHHHIII!!!!! The crowd in the background went wild and held up cards with the words "Soshi, will you marry me?" and "Soshi, did you star in The Sushi King?" and "That elfboy is sooo hot!" OctoSoshi: ... MY NAME IS NOT SUSHI!!! They don't pay me enough to be in this episode. *grumble* *grumble* As Mao and OctoSoshi got down to cooking business, their magical utensils wielded, as fresh salmon soon flew from one end of the counter, was met by thinly sliced strips of carrots, cabbage and cucumbers in mid air, rolled itself into the rice, and magically landed in neat rows at the other end of the counter. Such amazing dexterity and skill! Finally when the dishes were completed, Mao & OctoSoshi glared at each other as in the background, a giant Red Dragon snarled opposite a giant White Salmon and lightning flashed continuously. Then the background disappeared to be replaced with the interior of the restaurant, but the light was still flashing continuously. BishieBoy slid into the background, dressed in overalls, carrying a ladder. BishieBoy: Gomen. I meant to change that light bulb. Mao & OctoSoshi continued snarling at each other as BishieBoy set up the ladder, climbed up and changed the lightbulb. OctoSoshi:
Now you shall taste my DARK SUSHI OF GLOBAL DOMINATION!!! OctoSoshi & Mao stuffed their sushi into each others mouths. Mao & OctoSoshi's mouths kept filling up with more and more sushi until... Mao:
No more! Urrrgh! I'm defeated... Just then, the LEGENDARY GOLDEN SUSHI OF HAPPINESS took effect. It started to shine like pure gold which engulfed OctoSoshi in its light. When the light faded, Soshi was left standing there, looking blank. OctoSoshi:
Ano... where am I? Soshi laid her eyes on the man-hunk BishieBoy and her eyes turned into giant heart shapes. Soshi:
*drool* OOOOOOHHHH BISHIE!!!! *glomp* *glomp* *glomp* Mei Li picked Mao up from the floor. Mei
Li: What happened to Soshi? Mei Li hugged Mao tightly, Mao's face pressed against Mei Li's ample bosom. Mao: Mmmble mmmble (translation: Gosh Mei Li... I can't breathe) Location:
Meanwhile, inside Metal Gear OctoSoshi Ray elfbabes:
Oh Bluemaxx... you only had to ask... I would gladly have given myself
to you... eh. elfboy: Not so FAST!!! I'll put an end to your dirty schemes! Don't you move a muscle or I'll shoot! elfboy had his Utility Thong Spider Webbing set to stun. Bluemaxx: Good work, elfboy. Now I'll just frisk elfbab... elfboy shot the gooey stuff knocking out Bluemaxx. elfboy: I told you not to move a muscle, ecchi! That's my sister you're trying to take advantage of. elfbabes ran to her elder brother. elfbabes:
Oooh, brother, you saved me from that big bad Bluemaxx...eh. elfboy was about to reply when elfbabes hit him over the head with Bluemaxx's slave girl outfit. elfbabes: hohoho! Now no one will stop me!!!...eh. But before elfbabes could capture our really really good looking heroes, Bluemaxx and elfboy were teleported out of the Metal Gear OctoSoshi Ray control room to the front of the restaurant where Skysenshi, Firesenshi, Ichi, BlogMaxx & IceSenshi were waiting. elfboy & Bluemaxx regained consciousness. Bluemaxx:
Did we defeat your sister, elfboy? elfboy:
Bluemaxx! Where are your clothes? elfboy:
(thinking to himself) How come no one says that about me. elfboy: Thank you... ARRRGHHH! What the hell are you doing here? Elton
John was standing there naked, wearing only his glasses. Skysenshi:
We can't... We have orders to save him. As our Model Men argued, Metal Gear OctoSoshi Ray smashed through Tokyo, terrorizing inner city high school girls. Skysenshi:
We've got to stop that monster!!! Our 7 heroes got into their respective vehicles. (Please buy the toys, action figures sold separately). Bluemaxx rode Model Machine #1, the Cyclone, a blue motorcycle that could transform into a robot in Police Woman outfit. elfboy drove Model Machine #2, the Pitstop, a green sports car that could transform into a robot in Nurse outfit. Skysenshi drove Model Machine #3, the Black Venom, a black helicopter that transformed into a robot in French Maid outfit. Ichi drove Model Machine #4, the Silencer, a purple stealth jet that transformed into a robot in School teacher outfit. Firesenshi drove Model Machine #5, the Flame, a red fire engine that transformed into a robot in Firefighter outfit. BlogMaxx drove Model Machine #6, the Freewheelie, a yellow bicycle that transformed into a robot in school girl outfit. And
finally, Wooo! And together they said: Model Men: THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO!!!! The 7 Model Machines raced through the streets of Tokyo to do battle with Metal Gear OctoSoshi Ray. Inside OctoSoshi Ray, elfbabes: Mwahahaha... if you think those puny machines will stop this ingenious Multi-tentacled Robot, guess again! Maxx-imum power!!!...eh. The Multi-Tentacled OctoSoshi Ray went into overdrive, the tentacles linked together to form a giant ball of destruction. Our Model Machines were no match for the devastating power of OctoSoshi Ray. The Model machines bounced harmlessly off the quickly whirring tentacles. Bluemaxx:
We've got to get through that barrier! Every Model Man pulled the control (in a cool multi frame cutscene showing each model man pulling the lever). The Model Machines started transforming. The machines were transforming into giant robot parts as they joined together. IceSenshi
& BlogMaxx: Feet and Legs! The 7 individual machines joined together as one in a bright blaze of light. When the bright light disappeared, there stood the one thing that could hope to defeat Metal Gear OctoSoshi Ray. Firesenshi:
Now this is more like it!!!
Our heroes powered up the giant robot fighter that broke through the whirring tentacles easily. In the background, Patriotic Heroic Japanese music was sung. Oh look, it's ever popular Ken Hirai singing the song! Ken Hirai: This is fo' awl mai ffans woldwide. Arigatou. This songu is calle, "Monster Battle Theme Song". Ken Hirai picked up the microphone as ULTRA MODEL MAN and Metal Gear OctoSoshi Ray battled in slow motion, flattening buildings underfoot. elfbabes: Hahaha... I will destroy you my big brother! Then I can be the really really good looking elf in our family...eh. Ken Hirai (singing R&B style): Kaibutsu Kassen Kadai Kashou... Metal Gear OctoSoshi Ray fell through Isetan shopping mall. Guess there's no Isetan sale this year. elfboy: Not so fast, dear sister. True beauty is on the inside, not just the outside. I'm so glad I have both. Ken Hirai (singing slightly higher pitch): Kaibutsu Kassen Kadai Kashou~ Metal Gear OctoSoshi Ray used one of its tentacles to sweep the feet of ULTRA MODEL MAN. ULTRA MODEL MAN fell on to Takashimaya. elfbabes:
Do you know how hard it was getting dates growing up? All my boyfriends
just wanted to meet you. Ken Hirai (singing in descending arpeggio): Kaibutsu Kassen Kadai Kashou... ULTRA MODEL MAN was being crushed by Metal Gear OctoSoshi Ray's multiple tentacles. ULTRA MODEL MAN's light in its chest was starting to blink. Our five Model Men all screamed in unison as electricity shot through the cockpit. The energy display inside ULTRA MODEL MAN was showing that the power was down to less than 25%. They were being destroyed! Ken Hirai (singing soulfully): Kaibutsu Kassen Kadai Kashou~!!!!! And now, Mr. Elton John! Elton John sat there naked at his piano. Elton John & Ken Hirai (singing): Please let your son, go down on me~ Coz being Yaoi, is the only way to be~ So let your tentacles free, and we will see~ Oooooh yeah, Coz doin' the Yaoi thing, is like your son going down, on me~!!! Perhaps it was the song, perhaps it was the fact that our Model Men must survive, or maybe it was the fact that this episode is just ULTRA Yaoi, our Model Men had the power to resist the relentless OctoSoshi Ray attack. ULTRA MODEL MAN's power rating suddenly shot up to 130% and the giant MODEL MAN grabbed the tentacles and suplexed Metal Gear OctoSoshi Ray into Lawson's headquarters. Not finished, ULTRA MODEL MAN tied up all the tentacles and then grabbing the giant Metal Gear, started spinning and hurling OctoSoshi Ray like the Hammer Toss. ULTRA MODEL MAN released the Metal Gear OctoSoshi Ray and it sailed into the sky, disappearing in a tiny little gleam in the sky. elfbabes:
I'll be back~~~~~~~...eh. Elton John & Ken Hirai (singing): Coz doin' the Yaoi Thing, is like your son going down, on me~!!!! Location:
3 days later, Japan elfboy:
Ah... this is the life, no giant robots, no horny yaoi old singers, and
no tentacles. [THE END] *Model Men
Soundtrack available from CD Pirates. Action Figures available from OBandai
Toys. |
