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| .: Character Profiles :. .: Emoticon Guide :. Written
by: Bluemaxx Location:
Los Angeles-Male Model Agency headquarters Bluemaxx: I was right, all we had to do and hold it and turn it right clockwise. elfboy: No you didn't.I was right....we hold and press and turn the knob counter-clockwise. Bluemaxx:
No Male Model#2, I believe it was suppose to turn clockwise. All you did
was just holding the knob while waiting for the door to open by itself. Skysenshi: ..... elfboy: Male Model#1, it wasn't you......it was me..... Skysenshi: ...... Bluemaxx:
No, it was not,Male Model#2...it was me *pouts face and poses his world-famous
BlueSteel pose* Skysenshi: ..... Bluemaxx:
Is NOT! elfboy &
Bluemaxx: ....... Oh hello,boss... what are you doing here? Bluemaxx:
I thought we already have jobs....? Skysenshi:
Yes....you are.But both of you are also elitely trained secret agents
that protects the safety of mankind and the fashion world. Skysenshi:
Uh-hum.....we have a situation at the Banana Republic Company.Apparently,
the Psycedelic Mistress,Mistress of Leather Wear,Miss Rinoa Anabanana,
has been spotted there.... Skysenshi:
NO!She's bad....a naughty girl....our enemy....the villain...bad-bad-bad
woman.... skysenshi: Anyhoo, I have a feeling she has something bad in store with the Banana republic Company.My beautifully figured male models....it is up to you to ensure the safety and well-being for our fashion ally the Banana Republic and stop that Rinoa from doing anything that might harm the fashion world!Go now my male models!It is your duty to shake that booty! Bluemaxx & elfboy: YES MAAM!!! *shakes booty...Shakira style* YOU CAN COUNT ON US!!! Our two good-looking heroes then turn around and rushes to the door. Unfortunately, the door was still close so they rammed at the very super-hard solid door.Luckily for our heroes, the marble floor cushioned our heroes very-very thick skulls so no serious injury was suffered by our heroes...more importantly, our heroes good looks are still intact. skysenshi: ....*presses button* Ichi... can you please open the door for the boys? Thanks....*sigh* ~End of part-1~ Written
by: elfboy
Location: The People's Republic of Banana, Banana Republic HQ Rinoa: You
like that? (whip smack) Rinoa whips the President even more. Rinoa: Talk
pig! Just then a commotion is heard outside the door. Bluemaxx:
It's clockwise! Rinoa opens the door and sees our two professionally really really good looking heroes, hands on hips, showing off their various poses as the wind whips through their hair, blowing it back stylishly. Rinoa: So they sent you two to stop me, the deliciously evil Psychedelic Mistress, Mistress of Leather Wear, Rinoa? elfboy looked at Rinoa, arms folded against his chest as he showed his treadmark El Tapir look, while Bluemaxx emptied a bottle of Evian mineral water all over himself, in slow motion, the water soaking through his Tommy Hilfiger™ shirt. elfboy: Stop,
Psyche... Psycho... Really really evil woman Rinoa, in the name of the
Fashion Police! Rinoa: Enough of you fools! I'll teach you the meaning of messing with me! Rinoa snaps her fingers and two martial arts exponents appear. elfboy: Look
it's Jackie Chan! Jackie Chan:
That Bluemaxx... he's so hot! Years of Taek-won-do and step aerobics make Male Model #1 and Male Model #2 no match for the two Hollywood action stars. Yup, our Models get their asses whupped. Later
(Still in Banana Republic HQ) elfboy: How
did you get here? Just then, Psychedelic Mistress Rinoa comes by to check on our trapped heroes, and Ashanti (who we deny is there just to please the male viewers - show us some more skin Ashanti baby) Bluemaxx:
What do you plan to do with us? elfboy: Why
are you taking over Banana Republic? Rinoa: Very
well, I want to take over the Banana Republic and start making leather
wear for the short and flappy people of the world! Rinoa pulls down on a lever that will pour hot chocolate on our really really good looking heroes (and Ashanti - in chocolate, yum) Rinoa: And now Male Model #1, Male Model #2, you will die! Rinoa leaves, leaving our two heroes to find a way to escape the Jello Mix. elfboy: This
looks like the end, Bluemaxx. Is this the
end of our daring Male Model heroes? Will they escape from Jackie Chan: That Bluemaxx... he's so hot! Stay tuned for the next installment of Model Men! Written
by: Bluemaxx Location:
The People's Republic of Banana, Banana Republic HQ Ashanti:
Baby...always on time....gave you my heart.......man, both of you can't
sing squat! Bluemaxx: I believe so,Male Model#2.....you see, the only Low Quality Jello available here in the Banana Republic is the Wombat Brand Jello Mix. It is a well-known fact among Jello lovers that Low Quality Jello, namely from the Wombat Brand Jello Mix Brand, dissolves quickly into liquid form once heat is applied to it... Ashanti:
Really? elfboy: then
how did you know that low Quality Jello dissolves into liquid once applied
with heat? elfboy: Oh
yeah....I guess I am a Jello lover.Nice pink frilly thongs by the way..... 5 minutes later.......Male Model#1 Bluemaxx and male Model#2 elfboy is sandwiching Ashanti and rubbing her with their bodies....using their backs after much complaint from Ashanti. Bluemaxx:
Ohhh...ohhhh....this is sooo good!You sure you don't want me to turn around? 5 more minutes
have passed and our very very good-looking male model heroes...along with
the very hot Ashanti, manages to escape from the Jello Deathtrap. Just
as soon as our heroes stepped out of the Jello Deathtrap; Psychedelic
Mistress,Mistress of Leather Wear, Rinoa's minions namely Jet li and Jackie
Chan entered the room, and goes into various kung-fu Jet Li: Ru
leally leally good rooking people have leally leally made me so pi$$ing
off....now ru will taste my frying lick of loom now! Hiiiyaaa!!!! Jet Li executes a flying kick towards elfboy but elfboy manages to dodge the attack somehow.Jet Li almost fell into the Jello Deathtrap but he manages to land near the edge of the Giant Bowl.Elfboy, throws Ashanti towards Jet Li and both she and the kung-fu star fell into the Jello Deathtrap.......with a large 'splat' sound. elfboy: Never did like her much anyway..... Jet Li: Hey...we
alre tlapped in lis stupid Jello Rowl... Jackie Chan:
Bluemaxx? elboy then
takes this chance to shove the stunned Jackie Chan down the Jello Deathtrap
to keep Ashanti and Jet Li company and making sure no morally disorderly
conduct happened. Bluemaxx:
This doorknob.....do we turn it clockwise or counter-clockwise?Coz if
we enter twisting the knob clockwise...then we should exit by turning
it counter-clockwise...correct? Coming up next:The conclusion of Episode 1-Men In Slack Written
by: elfboy Location:
Secret Banana Sweatshop, Banana Republic HQ Thousands of young Pakistani children sewing footballs. Rinoa looked inside and asked one of the children where the secret Banana sweatshop was. In the interest of universal understanding, Pakistani will be translated. Rinoa: Is
this the Banana Republic Sweatshop? Rinoa: R~ight.
So where is the Banana Republic Sweatshop? Rinoa turned around to find another panel open revealing the inner workings of the Banana Republic. Rinoa approached cautiously. Rinoa: It's beautiful... and it's all mine! Muahahahahaha. Just then, our two really really good looking (you get the idea) heroes, Male Model #1 and Male Model #2 crash through the wall. elfboy: We
won't let you get away with this Psyche... pyscho... really really evil
woman, Rinoa! Bluemaxx
and elfboy turned around to look at the door, which was indeed open. Rinoa meanwhile had taken the opportunity while our heroes were distracted to slide into the secret sweatshop and was closing the door behind her. Bluemaxx: She's getting away! elfboy: Bionic speed, don't fail us now. With cheesy bionic sound FX, our Male Model agents ran in slow motion towards the closing door. Unfortunately, only our Male Model agents were moving in slow motion. The door slammed shut before our agents could get there. elfboy: Damn!
All that running has messed up my hair! Bluemaxx
looked at the password entry panel. Bluemaxx pointed to the really really big sign above the panel, which read: "Secret Banana Sweatshop Password Entry Panel". Elfboy read the question on the password panel. Panel: What
is a Banana's favorite color, flavor & fruit? The secret Banana sweatshop door slid open, and our heroes dart inside. Inside the Banana sweatshop, Rinoa is reprogramming the computer to cut Leatherwear in the proportions of normal people and not for fashion models. Bluemaxx:
Stop! Do you know what you'll do to the fashion world and really really
good looking people everywhere if you do this?! Bluemaxx:
You're mad! Bluemaxx:
You really really evil woman, Rinoa! We will stop you! Right Male Model
#2? Rinoa jumped towards our two Male Model heroes, her whip ready and primed to whip the young men back into shape. Rinoa: (whip
smack) Don't interfere with me. Or I'll be forced to flog your boney hides! Rinoa's whip wraps around Bluemaxx and elfboy tightly, threatening to crush them in one final blow. Bluemaxx:
Must... concentrate... fight... through... pain... unleash... power... As one Bluemaxx and elfboy turned towards Rinoa, their model looks stunning the Psychedelic Mistress. Bluemaxx
and elfboy: El Blue Magnum! The whip slackened and Bluemaxx and elfboy were freed. Just then, the Banana Republic's alarms wail and the computer announced. Computer:
3 minutes to complete Banana Split. Bluemaxx and elfboy jump up to the computer and scratch their heads. Bluemaxx:
Any idea what to do? elfboy used
his El Tapir look on the computer... to no avail. elfboy: Do
you know another way? Jet Li, Ashanti and Jackie Chan, covered in Jello made their way into the Sweatshop. Ashanti:
You guys can stop rubbing yourself against me! We're already out! Bluemaxx:
Stay back everyone. The Banana Computer is going to explode in... A sudden whirr made everyone's attention turn towards the sound. They saw Psychedelic Mistress Rinoa, hanging onto a rope ladder as a helicopter carried her to safety. Rinoa: Sorry
to leave so early, but you know what they say. elfboy: Damn!
She got away! Computer:
60 seconds to complete Banana Split. Male Model #1, Male Model #2, Jet Li and Jackie Chan all look at Ashanti. Bluemaxx:
We're doomed! Ashanti walks out the door. Computer: 30 seconds to complete Banana Split. The president of Banana Republic hopped in, still tied and dressed in leather. President:
Where's Psychedelic Mistress Rinoa? She's not done with me, is she? She
missed a spot under my... elfboy: Right!
And if there's a moral to this story, it is that only really really good
looking people should show their bon bons on TV. Computer: 10 seconds to complete Banana Split. Everyone hugged each other in desperation. Computer: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *Ding*. Male Model #1 and Male Model #2 open their eyes to find a complete Banana split on the computer. Bluemaxx:
You mean this was what a Banana Split meant all the time? elfboy: Uh...
Male Model #1... Another whirr of helicopter blades was heard and as everyone looked up, they see Skysenshi flying down in her private helicopter, her boytoy Ichi piloting the machine. Skysenshi:
Well done boys, you've saved the world of fashion today, but that AnnaBanana
sure gave you the slip. Our two really really good looking male models grab onto the rope ladder and fly away. Bluemaxx:
Actually there's something I forgot to mention about Wombat Brand Jello
Mix. As our heroes fly off into the sunset, Banana Republic HQ explodes in a Jello cloud. The End Catch the
next episode now: Model Men: Episode 2: Lord of the
Thongs. |
