In our
life we come across many such resources (including websites, divorce
experts/attorneys etc) that are working to safeguard marriages and
provide ways and means to educate people in-order to have a happy life
and stay married forever. On the other hand also there are found
organizations, institutions and experts who would do their best efforts
to provide happiness to people by drawing them out of miserable marital
life they are experiencing for whatsoever reason may be and that’s
through divorce.
Well people on both these extremes are doing their
part of work in promoting harmony, love and peace amongst people. Some
focus on resolving the issues that arises in marital life while others
focal point is to show people how
divorce can bring an end to miserable
relationship letting people breathe freely after they get divorced. But
very wisely said it is always better to work on the cause rather than
looking at the effect. Therefore we should think on finding the roots of
the problems that more often than not occur in marriage and if can not
be eradicated at least we can
try to avoid them
from happening after
marriage.
As far the matter of divorce is concerned, The United
States of America has the highest divorce rate of 3.8 divorces of 7.5
marriages per 1,000 people.
If we can not save many marriages, although many are
making their utmost efforts to preserve it, at least we can try to
identify the reason and grounds that become
causes of divorce in most of
the cases.
Every state of The United States has defined a set of
reasons of divorce on the basis of which divorce may be granted. In most
cases, the causes of divorce are complex and are specific to a
couple's
relationship, their troubles, and their own life experiences. Many
people have cited “irreconcilable differences,” “irretrievable
breakdown,” or “incompatibility” as major causes of divorce in different
locations. The most commonly stem from one specific issue that is
compounded by a lack of commitment to the marriage and having a poor or
bad communication in between each other. There are other common
causes
of divorce that include money, infidelity, and career choices.
Marriage experts agree to the fact that communication
problems are the root causes of divorce and they further lead and give
birth to other as well. Because when two people lack communication, they
are unable to solve problems that may occur in the marriage. Many
married couples think that the minor problems that occur in their
marriage, are insignificant, and are not worth talking about; however,
they fail to realize that even the smallest things can cause conflict
between the two when they are not able to solve them through
communication. Many couples lack communication when it comes to making
decisions about shared finances. And here money also become of the
reason of divorce. Many people say money is the root of evil; the
disagreement in a decision shown by one spouse can bring a drastic
effect on the marriage.
With this connection when there are mismatch in the
decisions made in financial matters, the support provided for children
by both the parents weakens a lot. It results in poor child care, poor
or no education and every other node of the chain. Eventually children
become apple of discord between parents which jeopardizes the marriage.
When one of the parents is closely related to children and the other is
not able to provide attention, the relation takes another extreme turn
and that is affairs (whether emotional infidelity or extramarital sex
i.e. adultery) and which is becoming a very common cause and reason of
divorce today.
As time passes by a spouse then finds warmth and
affection from outside the relationship. Consequently starts cheating on
the other and affairs tend to start. The outsider (to the marital
relationship) then gradually starts filling hatred in your heart against
your spouse. It truly fulfills no purpose, and can only aid in
destroying what is left of the couple's marriage.
Therefore, divorce, no matter whatsoever the reason
is, is never as easy as it is conceived. Whether a couple’s decision to
divorce is for the good or bad, it is certain there are many affect that
it has on the couple’s individual lives. The major causes of divorce so
far clearly identified could be communication problems, lack of
commitments, children support, money, affair and adultery.
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