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March 10, 2005

Bill of Rights 2005

Amendment I

Congress shall establish a wall of separation between Christianity and the public. Free exercise of religion shall be permitted only with express written consent of the Commissioner of Baseball. Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of speech, or the press, unless it offends or inconveniences someone. The people shall have a right to peaceably assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances after obtaining a permit to do so.

Amendment II

The right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed except to limit the firepower of said arms.

Amendment III

No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and urine, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall be violated only if there is possible terrorism or drug use involved. No warrants need be issued, supported by oath or affirmation, describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment V

No celebrity shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime. All others shall be tried as many times as necessary to find them guilty. No person shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law unless the prosecution finds it necessary. Nor shall private property be taken for public use, unless it generates additional tax revenue.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a trial, eventually.

Amendment VII

In suits at common law, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved. But the right of jury nullification shall not be spoken aloud or presented in writing to jury members

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted unless it "sends a message" to other would be offenders.

Amendment IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the federal government.

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the politicians, judges and bureaucrats in Washington D.C.

- Ed Powell

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