ROOM 106C
GETTING HELP
FOR A LOVED ONE
(CONTINUED)
On to the meat of the matter.  Reality testing is set up by fostering a supportive environment.  By the way, there is no guarantee that reality testing will work.  And this is not a scientifically-proven method.  This is my advice, advice from my experience with the disease and from talking with others.  So, reality testing is set up by fostering a supportive environment.  Of course, you need to have a supportive, nonthreatening environment.  Jane Goodall did it with her gorillas to make them feel safe.  Eventually, she was able to eat and play with them.  She even learned to communicate with them.  All because she proved to them that she was not threatening.  It took a long time, but she did it.  This is your goal, too. 

Once you've established a supportive environment, which could take weeks or months, you are ready to gingerly approach the subject of your loved one's illness.  What do you say?  Again, you should use your own best judgment.  However, I will give you some suggestions.  Say your loved one thinks that the federal government has wire-tapped your house and is spying on him.  "What have we done to make the federal government want to spend their precious time spying on us?" you might ask.  Great job!  You asked the million dollar question, and if you did it in a calm, unpatronizing manner, then you probably succeeded in getting your loved one to think about that delusion (regardless of his initial response).  You are done.  Congratulations, you just passed your first test.  You took the time and effort to establish a supportive environment and you questioned your loved one's delusion in an appropiate manner.

Now, your loved one may have reacted in a very defensive manner.  This is to be expected.  Back off.  Don't say anything more about the subject.  Now, you go back to establishing the aforementioned supportive environment.  Wait a while, maybe a few days, probably more like a few weeks.  Waiting and giving your loved one time and space fosters trust.  And trust is an invaluable thing for the person with schizophrenia.  Remember, you are trying to handfeed the vulnerable lion's prey.

After some time of waiting, confronting, and waiting again, you may be ready to ask your loved one the following question: "Do you think your life is going well (or as planned)?"  This is the question I asked myself over and over, and over and over the answer was a resounding no.  I was living on the street, did not have a job, and was light-years away from having a family...all of the things that I wanted out of life.

Reality testing will not take away your loved one's delusions.  He or she will probably always feel like someone is out to get him, and she will probably have grandiose notions.  What reality testing is meant to accomplish is to introduce some doubt about the afflicted person's beliefs.  So, don't expect to change his mind and make him well by talking to him.  Reality testing is meant to convince the person that she has a problem and needs help.

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