Well, that's a tough one...not impossible just tough. It's tough because the advice I gave on the previous page is for everyone, regardless of how their loved one is doing. The advice I am about to give should be tempered with your own good judgment. By now (if you have followed my advice from the previous page), you know a lot about schizophrenia. And, you have the added real-world experience of taking care of someone with the disease. You are to be congratulated for all of your hard work and perserverance.
Yet, there is still a lot of work to be done. Your loved one still does not believe that he is sick and won't take his medication. Several tactics can be used to mitigate your circumstances. The first one I would try is reality testing. This approach takes A LOT of patience. I mean A LOT. Stay away from bombarding the person with statements like, "Nothing will happen to you if you leave the house. You are being absurd!" On the other hand, try statements like that and see what kind of a response you get. I guarantee that if your loved one has paranoid schizophrenia, she will not respond favorably to that statement. In fact, she will most likely start to become suspicious of your motives. In his mind, you may become the lion who is hunting him down.
Reality testing is a long-term approach. It means using an unpatronizingly calm tone in your voice. It means making that lone zebra feel safe enough, so that you can feed it by hand. And really that's what you are doing. You are making the person feel safe enough to confront his own illness. As an aside, avoid statements like, "I'm just trying to make you feel safe." These are trapping statements, and more than likely will be couterproductive. Instead of telling your loved one that you want him to feel safe, make him feel safe. If he wants to stay in his room all day, watch TV and smoke, then let him do that. If he wants to help out around the house every now and then, let him. But, do not expect him to do household chores like he used to do. If he wants to eat with the family, great. If he wants to eat alone, that's fine also.
The only expectation you should have using this technique is a minimum amount of personal hygiene. This can be very difficult for the person experiencing schizophrenic symptoms to do. Again, use a calm tone when asking the person to take a shower, shave, or brush his teeth. Remember with whom and what you are dealing. And do not expect personal hygiene to take place everyday. If he showers every third day, great. That's more than if he didn't shower at all.
And, please do not force the person to leave the house against his will. Just the threat of this can cause your loved one a lot of stress and repeated exposure to that stress can lead to suicidal and/or homocidal thoughts.
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GETTING HELP
FOR A LOVED ONE
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