gettinghelpforlovedone4

ROOM 106D
GETTING HELP FOR
A LOVED ONE
(CONTINUED)

What can you do if your loved one still does not think he or she needs help? Let's say that you've done the reality testing and your loved one still does not recognize his problem. One thing my parents did for me was to call the emergency room. The people there said that they would accept me that night. My parents came to me...I was lying in my room, isolated and suffering. They told me that the ER would take me that night. I jumped out of my bed, showered, shaved, and off we went. What my parents did was to take the initiative to getting me help. I lacked the wherewithal to verbally tell them how I was feeling, but I was telling them in other ways (isolating in my room, for example). By taking this initiative, my parents took a risk that I might get angry with them, but the risk was worth it. It was the catalyst I needed in order to get help.

Let's jump to another scenario. Let's say your loved one refuses to get help, refuses to take her medications, and is threatening to you or to others. By all means, skip the reality testing approach. You might try calling the ER and setting up a psych evaluation with them. If this does not work, dial 9-1-1. Do it after things have calmed down a bit if you need, but call them. A threatening person with schizophrenia almost always means that something is very wrong. You might prepare the police ahead of time by telling them (days or weeks in advance) that your loved one has a mental disorder and that you may need to call on them if he gets threatening.

DON'T DO NOTHING! Do something. Call the police, call a friend, drive to the nearest hospital, call your local community mental health center, dial 9-1-1. Do something. Your loved one's threatening overtures are probably cries for help (no matter how much she says otherwise), and they are definitely signs of something imminent. Get help.

What if your loved one has been hospitalized umpteen times, he's gone to numerous therapists, a handful of psychiatrists, and been prescribed various medications and yet refuses to acknowledge his illness and that he needs to take his meds? This circumstance is not as uncommon as you would think. If your situation falls into this category AND your loved one is threatening, then I would reluctantly issue an ultimatum. Either he takes his medications or he finds another place to live. This can be a difficult thing to do, especially if you are the parent of someone with schizophrenia. Don't back down from your ultimatum. A safe environment has to be established for everyone, especially if young children are involved. If the only alternative to staying at home and taking his meds is going to a homeless shelter for a while, then that's the way it has to be. Use this method only as a last resort and do not balk at it. Using this method as a last resort will assure you that you have covered all of your bases before making that decision. You can reassure your loved one that you have exhausted all of the possibilities, but that in order to maintain a safe living environment, certain requirements must be met. Those requirements include taking his meds. If you can help it, don't use this ultimatum as a first step. Try some of the other tactics suggested, keeping this option open as a last resort, and finally do not give in to your ultimatum...ever.

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