- Page 2 -
And speaking of hot women, Queensburg�s own all-female Classics troupe, Chickov, with it�s creative and unique mission that attracts female audience members who love Chickov�s feminist edge and celebration of the talents and strengths women, and male audience members who love seeing all the hot chicks on stage, should be thriving as a growing company with virtually no competition from any theatre group even remotely similar to this brilliant concept. I asked them why they didn�t take advantage of their favorable position and initiate some outreach and promotion which would surely yield a stronger audience and donator base. Artistic Director Montana Girdle told me, in hushed tones, standing under a dull, amber streetlight in a forgotten alley in uptown Queensburg, �Dexter Kneebuster is scared of us. He won�t admit it, but he knows the demographics. The multi-cultural thing being a given, after children, grant programs favor women�s issues. And not just grant programs, there are a lot of women out there with old, family money, and he knows that. When their children grow up and leave, we�re the ones they would come to. But my current Kid�s Theatre contract prohibits me from� let�s just say that Dexter owns me, and I can�t help Chickov like I want to. He�s gotten to Shelly Ice-Gamble somehow, and he broke Marilyn Dumpster�s spirit a long time ago. But we�ve got a plan. He won�t see it coming. All we have to� what was that? Did you hear that? Fuck, this isn�t safe, I have to go!�
And speaking of crowd pleasers, no one does it better than Theatre Queensburg. Mandy Sorintheback had this to say. �Fuck Kneebuster! He doesn�t scare me! Listen! Listen! We do shows people like, period, and we pack �em in, baby! Kneebuster�s got dick on us! We don�t just have, listen, we don�t just have the Arts and Silence, we�ve got donors and subscribers, listen, we just had a fucking Gala fundraiser and, am I right, Rob? We had the fuckin�� they were lovin� it! They had the best fuckin� time. And education progr�Fuck Dexter! Fuck him! Get outta here! Rob, get this fuckin� guy outta here!�
In addition to the longstanding companies fortifying their audience base, there has been an explosion of grassroots Fringe Theatres cropping up over the last few years. At a recent meeting of Fringe Theatre representatives, I asked them to tell me what it was that each unique theatre company had to offer, and they replied, in unison, �We do contemporary plays, classics and new works! All at low, low prices!� Then all but a few voices added, �and you can take your beer into the theatre.�
Now THAT�s giving them what they want! I think we�re going to see some great things in Queensburg�s theatre arts community over the next few years. And one thing�s for sure, you�ll be seeing me in the front row at Queensburg Rep�s nude musical version of, �Inherit the Wind!� Too bad I can�t take my beer in there.
EAP