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| Gay Related Links: |
| BIBLE ABUSE RECOVERY" GayChristians.org Other Links More coming soon |
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| You count! |
| The Gay Gene: The Doctors are still out on the subject. Why? Well not all homosexuals come forth and announce that fact. Indeed just a quick look at my family tree reveals that there was plenty of talk about Great Aunts and Uncles who were married. It was hinted at, but not right out stated as fact - nor did the ones accused ever admit to it. Our society tends to foster this belief that it is far better to live a lie, act straight than admit that you are gay. Many people out there right now are married, have kids, are acting like they are straight while inside they are fighting there desire, their need to be gay and have a gay relationship. Secondly Homosexuality is not just one thing. It actually covers a much broader spectrum of human sexuality. Flavors or degrees of homosexuality, and there are environmental aspects, social pressures and a huge number of bisexuals who can be at any moment either straight or gay, depending on how they feel at the time of questioning. It has been suggested by researchers and arm chair observers that if we were all honest about our sexuality that most of us would fall somewhere between homosexual and heterosexual. This suggests that 100% gay or straight is the extreme and that bisexuality is the norm. Aside from that there has been more recent research which has revealed that gays tend to have a difference in the physical brain. A difference in the organic machine means a difference in the software. Other suggestive research, from the length of the index finger, to physical characteristics (2QT2BStr8 = Too cute to be straight) all offer possible links to a physical reason why we are gay, straight, bi, transgender, etc. etc. etc. There is even a theory out there which points at the mother who during the formative early months of pregnancy may have eaten too much of one thing, or been exposed to a certain set of chemicals which lowered the defenses of the womb, or lowered or boosts particular chemicals which lead to the "imperfect" gendering of the fetus. This theory starts off with the little known fact that all fetuses start off female - That guys is why you have nipples. Though I am uncertain of the cause, I know that there is a physical cause, one that I can not more control than I could control the color of my eyes, the color of my hair or the simple fact that I am 6'1" tall. Life experiences most likely do not form all homosexuals, some - yes - most definitely - but not all. For many who have had a "bad" childhood it affected how they express their homosexuality. Much like a heterosexual is affected. ************************************** Social Pressures and Sex: Believe it or not I am very happy with being gay. Indeed I see nothing wrong with having sex with men, loving men or wanting to have a husband - for me this is natural and gives me warm feelings. In fact I can honestly say that I fantasized more about cuddling, kissing and sharing my life with another male then I did about sex. I suspect that a good chunk of homosexuals want and need a life long committed relationship. From those who I have talked to in the Gay community there is the initial belief that a long term committed relationship between two people of the same gender is possible. However due to several factors many will give up that dream and fall to satisfying their lusts, while denying their heart's desire. Some of those factors include the social pressures of society who continually degrades, condemns and goes out of its way to program into the gay community that same sex relationships fail. Tell a person that they will fail enough times, and they do. Another factor is that homosexuals do not have a set of traditions, cultural heritage with leaders, and role models. It has only been during the late decade that celebrities have started coming out of the closet. It isn't until the past 2 decades that homosexuality has had its positive spot light on TV. Even today gay pride is well known, but media doesn't focus on the straight acting homosexuals, the loving parts, it find the bizarre, fringe who are dressed elaborately, acting out in militant fashion to prove a point. Then there is the personal level attacks, from family, friends church, social groups who can be the worst when it comes to tolerance. There are many homosexuals who have not come out of the closet at home, in fear that their family will turn on them. Sadly this still happens, many families would accept their child as a murder than they do accept their being gay. The one and only bone of contention that I have had with my sexuality, and the one that has caused me to loath myself in times past and desperately seek to be "normal" as defined by heterosexuals - are those around me. Until I discovered the "gay Community" where people of like minds (Including straights who accept gays as people not as sex acts) I was a very, very unhappy man/boy who suffered any number if mental and emotional issues simply because of hiding and fighting the sexuality I was born with. Most homosexuals feel the same way - they are ok with their sexuality, it is the condemnation and the constant rain of negativity that the rest of the world places on them when it comes to their sexuality that causes them great unhappiness. For the Gay there is no doubt in their mind (when left to their own devices) that homosexuality is right and normal FOR THEM. This minor note in the debate is rarely brought up. Indeed it would appear by the arguments that we are so busy attempting to force everyone to conform to one set of sexual preferences that we have missed the boat when it comes to human individuality. Humans are blessed with infinite diversity in Infinite combinations (IDIC) which is our saving grace and I believe is the most cherished aspect of our species in the Eyes of God. Personally I like the fact that no two humans are exactly the same. Even those who do or believe things which are contrary to my system of beliefs are, in my opinion, equal to me in all ways. ************************************** Gay bashing: I am a victim of physical violence. A gang (5 or 6, I never did get an exact number) of "good ole boys" who I assume were straight, assume where Christian and assume had a few issues over the gay thing, elected me to be their private punching bag and decided to teach this faggot a few lessons. I am straight acting, always have been, most likely always will be. My build and the way I carry myself would make for a silly sight if I started lisping and being a queen. I can't do it, it is alien to my nature. So how did this good ole boys know I was gay? They knew because I came out of a known gay bar. They followed me a few blocks, and waited until I was someplace dark and semi-secluded to act out and, as a team effort, proceed to punch, kick, slap and pretty much use any method available to beat into me the decency and rightness of being straight over being gay. "Faggot", "cock-sucker", "sissy" and other horrendous names were screamed at me during the course of my sound beating. I was told in not to nice ways that I was going to hell, that God hated me and that they had every right to kill me. In a few minutes time they succeeded in beating the stuffing out of me, and gave me a life long fear of straight men going in packs. A fear of showing any affection toward my lover, terror and anxiety that anyone may be watching. Today when my partner in life uses a term of endearment (Sweetie) in public my first instinct is to look around, a fear that it was over heard and will get immediate punishment is ever present in my mind. I can not hold his hand, I can not utter "dear" I can't even give him a quick peck on the cheek because of the fear. All I did was walk out of a known gay bar. They didn't ask me if I was gay, they didn't have any clues to my sexuality beyond my walking out of a gay bar, alone. Never know I may have been a minister who had just delivered the same loving message to that bar that God Hates Fags - They didn't ask. They assumed and used violence and hatred to teach the gay boy a lesson. This is an extreme case of violence which most people think is a gay bashing. Gay bashing is far more than that. A good number of gay men will have at least one physical fight over their sexuality. Most will have come to verbal blows on the subject. All have been called "faggot" or worse. All have been the object of ridicule, told they are going to hell, told that they are hated by God, told that because they are gay they are less than human. Those are gay bashings as well. ************************************************************* Death, be not Proud: A couple of decades ago I watched as a dear friend of mine died from cancer. This was during the time when HIV and AIDS was a huge public affair, everyone knew that it was the Gay disease, and should you be gay and have a terminal illness it was automatically assumed that it was HIV/AIDS. As he started losing weight, losing his hair, the whispers started, it was obvious that he was ill (chemo has a way of doing this) and the rumor mill started "He's got AIDS." At first he made a stand, making certain to tell everybody that he had cancer, but after a while the chemo and the other concerns of his fading life took precedence, and he stopped correcting people. As he lay in hospital on his death bed he confessed that he truly believed that God hated him, and he knew that he was going to hell. In those days I had no strong faith, but I knew that this man was a wonderful, loving person who had given so much of himself to his community. I tried to convince him that God did love him and that he had a special place in heaven. He died unconvinced of his own value. No matter what I said he was convinced, due to a life long subjection to the constant rain of "official" degrees that homosexuality is a burning offense in God's books and the assumption that all other sins are far less than being gay, thus homosexuals were somehow cut out of the Plan of Salivation, no matter what they did, or how good of a person they were in life. Is this the right message we want people to have? |
| More is on the way, until then you can entertain yourself with more of my opinion on Religion, the Obvious and the Nebulous ;-) |
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