week4

At the beginning of Round 4, all the remaining tribe members were ordered to walk to Tree Mail. They recieved the unpleasant news that two new members will be joining their tribes. Alicia Langerak and Hao Xiang will be joining the Gupta tribe, Chris Boothroyd and Mark Paton will join the McSpastic tribe, Paul Buckley and Rowan Olsson will be joining the Goollies tribe and Josh Kitchin and Michelle Howes joined the Swaheely tribe. At first the original tribe members were excited that they had new sex buddies, but then they were bummed out, as they soon found out they were no fun in bed.

Week 4 was a week of overwhelming homosexuality and homosexual acts. Rick Jones from the McSpastic tribe is the most unlikely to be a homosexual, but Andrew Kohler's illegal betting ring has put Rick at 2:1 odds of being a homosexual after Rick has been peeking at Alicia Langerak of the Gupta tribe in the island shower. Many of you may be questioning this, after all, how can Rick be gay perving at a young girl in the shower? Well this may come to a surprise to you but, Alicia is not the innocent young girl that we have grown to love, but a man in disguise. I mean, why would Alicia have a beard? Many believe that Alicia is in fact a white Osama bin Laden, waiting for his chance to strike at the unsuspecting castaways. However, only time will tell. When confronted by his fellow tribemembers about peeping on young men in the shower, Rick replied, "I enjoy peeping at young men in the shower, although I'm not homosexual,I'm a young boy who is curious and confused on his sexual feelings. I don't know why Andrew is forcing me to lean towards the gay side, though." Also, the intruder Chris Boothroyd from the McSpastic tribe is about to die soon, probably from rectal cancer.

Stuart Burrett, the bong smoking trolley pole yielding crazy man has started a "more than a friend" relationship with town fat boy Jeremiah Cudilla from the Goollies tribe. Jeremiah was open on his sexuality and made this statement: "Stuart is a sexy man, we have fun with his trolley pole." Jeremiah then preceeded to wink at Stuart and pointed to his anal area. Ryan Gentle thought Jeremiah was talking to him and ran away pissing in his pants. It is believed that Ryan Gentle is following in Matt Hopkins' footsteps.

However, one occurence was not a homosexual act. Adrian Tolentino of the so-called gay tribe Goollies was seen smooching with Cathryn Lu from the Swaheely tribe. There were many views on this. Andrew was outraged that someone could do such a heterosexual act. But many were happy for them and marriage was in the minds of many people. Some of the castaways predicted however, that this was just for publicity and/or attention, and that this was a strategical move so that the castaways would not vote them out of Hostilenater Republic. Adrian commented, "This is a genuine move of affection. I wonder how people can be so insensitive. And anyway, it's just smooching, that is not a big deal, but I guess with all the homosexual incidents happening this round, I guess it is something to watch."

This week's Immuntiy Challenge was different, as only the newcomers had to participate, winning operson is safe from the vote. After sharp shootin' and pinpoint accuracy, Hao Xiang came out victorious. All the other newcomers, and the original castaways had to go to Tribal Council. At Tribal Council, Doug Skene from the Swaheely tribe was condemned for "Hamster Dancing" in the nude. Josh commented on the situation: "Anyone who has genitalia that small shouldn't be allowed to Hamster Dance at Tribal Council nude." After this incident, Hamster Dancing has been outlawed, just like cannibalism. Marigold Banta (the world naked Hamster Dance champion) was outraged at this decision and decided to ebat up Amanda Lax behind the milk bar. Good stuff Marigold.

Because many felt that the intruder's intrusion was unfair, most of the votes went their way, with the exception of Hao Xiang who won the Immunity Talisman. Doug also took the fall as an enraged Marigold repeatedly voted for him for outlawing nude Hamster Dancing. So seven of the newcomers found out that they weren't staying for long. Doug was happy though, as he could dance nude to his free will. So with only one newcomer left, one must think if he will last any longer...
-Submitted by DJ Ray (you know you want me)