week3

There is only one word to describe this week's happenings: Controversius to the Maximus. The island has become considerably hornier after young Tim "Timmy" Harvey, who is a young Madagascarian pole dancer from the Goollies, walked in on Dinesh Selvakunar from the McSpastic tribe enjoying the company of "Mrs. Palmer and her five children". Timmy was so astounded by what he witnessed that he started doing his hair like Ray Martin's and dressing like Barney the Purple Dinosaur. Because of this, Dinesh has vowed that he would always vote for Tim come Tribal Council. However, it is still yet a mystery why these two were on the same beach, as they are from two seperate tribes. Is this a breach of the PHS Survivor rules? Or just stupidity?

Even though Grant Robinson, formerly from the Goollies tribe, was exiled from the Hostilenater Republic last week, Meghan Stacey still thinks about him. "I cannot wait when I leave this game. Then I can see my love again and go out with him, just like good old times. If I happen to make it through to the end, well that's more money for my love so it's kind of a win-win situation for me." Many people cannot see why Meghan can love such a queer guy, but Andrew, who has believed to have sexual relations WITH Grant says his "fun".

At the other side of the Hostilenater Republic, Meryl Baquiran, who is a root-tootin' country western singer from downtown Tennessee (from the Gupta tribe), allegedly kneed Ted Danson in the right eyebrow. Nicolen Moodley, on onlooker, thought that Meryl and Ted were trying to make love and tried to join in. Whilst this was happening, Andrew Kohler from the Goollies tribe was disgusted at the acts and started nibbling at Meryl's kneecap. Legend has it that his group ordered him to find food for the tribe, after last week's incident of 'gay talk'. After this incident, cannibalism has been outlawed.

Back at the Goollies tribe, Adam "Piggy" Webster is suffering from chronic head illness due to last week's incident. Jonathan Weeks (who is banished), allegedly threw a bag filled with rocks at Piggy's temple. As blood came gushing out of it, all the of the castaway onlookers only could manage to say "Oink". Adam was rushed to the hospital where Eihab still lays on his deathbed, only to be returned to Hostilenater Republic, and only to be voted out.

Another controversial item was when the island castaways were enjoying a casual game of naked beach croquet. When Timmy was proceeding to stroke the croquet ball, an explosion of gas erupted from his anal area. It was at that moment that they realised that Leora from the McSpastic tribe had eaten all the brown sugar.

After this, Matt Hopkins saw the humour in the situation previously stated above began to laugh the annoying laugh that everyone loves to hate. He then relieved himself into his wetty warmer. After this ordeal, everyone prepared for this week's immunity challenge "Rock and Rollin'". After all the trampling and stamping, the castaways discovered that it was useless to do the Immunity Challenge as they had to Tribal Council anyway. After the long hike to Tribal Council, eight castaways found out that their adventure of a life time has come to an abrupt end.
- Submitted by Ray