A few teens decided to steal a boat. First they took it, beached it, then burned it. Then the laughed about, until they realized, they were on a island.
A guy from Mexico is smuggling drugs into the USA. No one notices he has them, until he checks Yes on the immigration form saying that he has illegal drugs.....
A criminal hiding in Mexico is trying to sneak back into the USA. He gets plastic surgery, shaves his beard, the works. Except, he forgot to change his identity.
Two hunters are out in the woods, when one collaspes. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone, and calls the emergency servicies. He gasps, " My friend is dead! What can I do!" The operator says, "Calm down, I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead." There's silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Ok, now what?"
Note: The fire alarm sounds like a loud siren.
"Never lick a spark plug." "Don't Snort Ice"
"Torture is not limited to physical pain"
"Dont eat lard." "Don't send lard in the mail."
"Adolescence is truly like a roller coaster, except when you go down you get a shovel, and when you go up you get a crane, but usually its the former." My own quote
Why is it called friendly fire if your not trying to be friendly?
" One may be a jack of all trades, and master nothing." Asian Proverb
"Procrastinators can't take over the world, becuase by the time they think of doing it, the world has already been taken over." My own quote.
"The only thing worse in being a middle man for someone looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend is politics." My own quote.
Soy Milk, Coconut Milk, Non-toxic markers, Soft Rock and Roll, Microsoft Works,
Light Haze, Dark Light, Organized Mess (Courtesy of Erin).
"Please be Kind, Rewind."
"Bombs over Baghdad." "Shut up, and keep farting. But it hurrrts." "Jon on Apollo's Chariot." "Tobacco is used for.. CHICKEN." "Imagine your a young Indian boy who has just seen 3 gigantic ships. HOLY ABABBAIBA." "Sorry for all the dirt sir."
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