DreamInColour
© 2004
“Sophia love you don’t know where my navy blue
jumper is do you?”
I heard him before I saw him, “Do I look like
your fucking wife Orli?” I asked walking into his room to be met with his
shirtless form searching through his chest of drawers. “Lord…” I shielded my
eyes, “I just ate.”
“Sorry.” He said with a smirk then walked over
to kiss both my cheeks like he always does.
I hugged him, I can’t help it, he’s me cuz
after all, “S’alright. Third drawer from the top.” I said after he stepped
back. I may not be his wife, but I do the bugger’s laundry because I can’t
stand to see it lying all over the floor. Don’t look at me like that, it’s not
my fault he’s never home.
Oh yeah did I forget to mention that we’re
flatmates. Actually he owns the flat and I live in it. He comes round from time
to time to somewhat justify the purchase, but really when it comes down to it I
live alone…in his flat. Maude’s taken up permanent residence at Samantha’s;
poor dog probably has totally forgotten Orlando owned her first.
“Do we have anything to eat?” He asked as he
pulled the jumper on.
“Best check the fridge and find out.” I
retorted.
He patted my head; I hate it when he pats me
head. “So much sarcasm.”
I shrugged, “It’s a gift. How long are you home
for this time?”
He was riffling through the cupboards while
pulling apart some of the fresh buns I had just brought home. “Just tonight.”
He said crumbs falling all out of his mouth.
“Honestly you’re a pig ya know that?” I folded
my arms against my chest and leaned back against the island in the middle of
the kitchen. “I don’t understand why millions want your messy skinny white arse
anyway.”
Smirking at me he took another bite of the bun,
“I’d tell you but then I’d have to kill you.”
“You’re insufferable.”
“It’s a gift.” He winked then walked by me
grabbing two apples that were in the fruit bowl behind me. He flopped himself
onto the sofa and flicked on the telly, “Oh hey just so you know I told a mate
of mine that he could crash here for a couple days.”
“Who is worthy of being able to stay at your
flat while you aren’t home?” I asked rather shocked. We’d had many a folk stay
at the flat, but they were family or mutual friends and he was always there.
He shrugged, “He’s in a bind. Out in London for
a shoot and they haven’t finished with his flat. So I told him he could stay
here.”
“Out for a shoot?” Okay now I’m confused. I sat
down at the other end of the sofa and smacked his leg, “You didn’t answer me,
who is it?”
“Huh?” It figures he has to turn on football
and completely tune me out.
I jumped on him and started poking at his side
where it’s the most ticklish, “The mate, stayin’ here…what’s his name?”
He burst out laughing and flipped me off the
couch pinning me to floor. Every time he does that it pisses me off cause no
matter how much I struggle I can never get out from underneath him, “Lij.” He grinned down at me then let my
arms go.
“I’m sorry do you mean Elijah Wood?” I got up and
blew the stray hairs out of my eyes pushing him away from me.
“Yes.” He rolled his eyes and flopped back onto
the sofa, “It’s only for two or three nights Soph. He’s in a bind and he let me
stay at his place in LA so it’s the least I could do. Anything else?”
“One more question. When?”
“Two days time. May I watch footie now?”
“Yeah, yeah.” I waved him away. Oh this isn’t good, wait yes it is. Oh I don’t know. Oh maybe I do know Oh but I can’t…damnit I’m saying oh too much.
I was up and out the door the next morning
before his royal elfness had even moved. The prat had fallen asleep on the sofa
forcing me to cover him and make sure he had a pillow before I went to bed. If
he doesn’t find a woman soon I’m going to go out of me bleedin’ mind. I must
call Auntie sometime and ask why she had to pass her son off onto me. Anyway
it’s not worth mulling over I am at work so I must stay focused…wait is that
the new girl squealing? Fuck. Oh that’s just perfect…
“What the hell are you doing here?” I hissed as
I dragged the bugger, formally known as my cousin soon to be dung under me
feet, into the back office.
He smiled sheepishly and held up the starbucks
coffee in his hand, “Wanted to bring you your favourite mocha on me way to the
airport.”
I rolled my eyes took the coffee put it on the
desk and promptly wrapped my arms around his neck, “If I didn’t love you so
much.” I growled.
He laughed and picked up my 5’4 frame, “Yeah I
know you’d disown me.” Putting me down he pinched my cheek and winked, “Mind if
I take the back door?” He indicated the sounds of my rapidly filling store.
I nodded and rubbed my hand over my face, “I
love my life I love my life…”
“I’ll call later this week.” He said over his
shoulder before ducking out the back door that we use for deliveries. I’m sure
he’d already arranged for a car to meet him there, pain in the arse having a
famous mangy prat for a cousin.
I just waved after him then sat down and took a
couple sips of my coffee trying to calm my nerves waiting for the inevitable.
Three…Two…One…cue…
“Sophia we’re going to need you out here.”
Natalia stuck her head through the door and called.
I nodded at her took one last sip of my coffee,
damnit if he didn’t pick the right one. Insufferable prick. “Coming Nat!”
She patted me arm on my way past her. She’s
worked at the store almost as long as I have and is used to Orli stopping by.
Okay she’s a full out lez and not affected by him, so you can’t blame me for
loving the woman. I took a deep breath and held my hands up, “Now calm down.”
The buzz in the room came down a few notches.
“Was that really Orlando Bloom?” A voice called
from the back.
“Yes it was, but unfortunately he had to
leave.”
“Are you two…” Someone started but I had to cut
them off.
“Listen to me closely folks if you are here to
shop please feel free to browse at your leisure. If you are here to gawk then
I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” Their groans had no affect on me. “I’m
sorry.”
“Why does he do that?” Natalia muttered to me
after the crowd had dispersed I’m sure cursing my name in the process.
“To make my life living hell.” I said with a
smile, “Or to spice it up.”
“That kind of spice I don’t need.”
“Me neither but I’m stuck.”
She laughed, “You’ve got to be the reason he’s
hardly egotistical.”
“You better believe it. I’d have his nads in a
knot before I’d let him get all posh on me.”
“Brilliant.” She started folding some of the
new shirts we’d just got in, “Are you joining us at Stargaze later?”
“Wouldn’t miss it love.” I laughed with a shake
of me hips; “I’m in the mood to dance, besides Shaz is DJing tonight.”
I don’t go out dancing much anymore. There are
too many children there as far as I’m concerned. I know I’m not that old, only
26 and still young, but with the club age being 16 you can understand why I
feel a right geezer whenever I go out. Stargaze is different, only those 21 and
up are allowed in and one of me best mates, Shaz, DJs there some of the time.
So whenever he’s there I feel it’s my duty as his mate to support him, besides
no one spins like Shaz.
Natalia, her girl Brenda and another mate Elise
showed up at my flat promptly at 11pm with a cab so no one had to be the
driver. “Look at the stunner mate. She’s going to be chatted up and down both
her sides!”
“Apparently Nat is a bit sloshed then.” I said
with a laugh.
“Almost drank a full pitcher down at pub before
we got here.” Brenda grinned.
“Seems we’re in for an interesting night then
yeah?”
“Fuckin’ right!” Elise announced from the front,
“Daniel is out with the lads so I’m a free woman.”
“For the night.” I laughed.
“Right.” She winked, “You know I’d only leave
Daniel if you could promise your lovely cousin to me.”
“You know I would Lise but unfortunately he has
this disgustin’ growth that no one knows about and I wouldn’t want to subject
you to that.” I patted her arm, “You’re better off with Daniel.”
She busted out laughing, “Well when you put it
that way…”
“We’re here!” Nat announced.
Let the party begin.
I probably wouldn’t have noticed him if he
hadn’t managed to collect, en mass, the top twelve women from Barbie’s R’ Us at
the end of the bar. “Fuck me.” I muttered into my drink.
“What?” Elise followed my gaze.
“He’s here.”
“I thought you said he left this afternoon.”
I groaned and smacked my friend, “Not my cousin
you stupid git I meant, Elijah.”
“As in Frodo?” She asked now standing up on her
tiptoes trying to see through the throng of people to the end of the bar,
“Fucking can’t see through the tarts.” She muttered.
“Yes as in Frodo.” I pulled her back down.
“Who’s Frodo?” Nat asked coming over to stand
beside me.
“Where’s Brenda?” I asked in a vain attempt to
change the subject.
“In the loo…” She brushed that off, damnit.
“Why are you talking about Frodo?”
“My god there he is!” Elise squealed.
I ran a hand over my face, “Bugger me.”
Nat looked at the end of the bar and caught on,
“OH! He’s here, the bloke who played Frodo.”
“Yes exactly and I thought he was only arriving
in two days time.” I said before I realized I’d said it.
“What? How the fuck do you know that?” Elise
stopped her gazing to talk to me.
I sighed, “He’s stayin’ at the flat for a
couple nights apparently.”
“And you didn’t tell me.” She smacked my arm.
“I only just found out last night.” I groaned,
“Besides I’m sure he doesn’t want folk comin’ round to stare at him yeah?”
“Well go talk to him then.” Nat pushed my arm.
“What? Are you daft? He won’t remember me!” I
stood firm.
“Right. Fine if you’re going to be a prat about
it.” She started walking, “I’ll be right back.”
I reached for her but lost her in the crowd,
“Ah soddin’ hell.” I couldn’t even bring myself to look and see if she got
anywhere near him.
It didn’t matter Elise gave me a play by play
anyway. “She’s just worked her way past some lads, oooh those birds aren’t
at’all pleased. Fuck, she’s talking to him…he’s nodding…now he’s…god he’s
looking over here.” She started pulling on me arm, “Look up Sophia!”
So I did, dumb move, even across a crowded room
those eyes do me in. He was watching me as Nat motioned for us to come over. Oh
sod it all why not? I grabbed Elise by the elbow and worked my way through the
crowd to the bar.
“What did you say?” I asked into Nat’s ear.
“Nothin’ much, he’s bloody pissed.” She laughed
back.
“Hi!” All of a sudden his hand was in front of
my face.
I reached over to take hold of it so he could
shake it vigorously, tight grip on this lad. “Hello.” I responded.
“Do I know you from somewhere?” He asked then
giggled and took a sip of his drink.
I shook my head; he still had firm hold of my
hand, “Nowhere you’d remember.”
“Oh I’ll remember.” He tapped his head, “I
don’t forget a pretty face. Did we meet in Paris?”
Bloody man still has me hand. “No.”
“You know my sister Hannah?” He tried.
“Nope.”
“Well...” He’s starting to slur now, if he
weren’t so bloody adorable he’d be annoying. “…how about…nope I saw her the
other day…maybe you’re…no she has blue hair…hmm.”
I tried to get my hand back, “Listen I’m sorry
we’re being a bother…”
“No bother at all…don’t worry it’ll come to
me…” He put a fag to his lips and let it hang there unlit for a few moments.
Sod it all he’s ridiculously shaggable right now.
This is the time that me mate Shaz decides to
notice I’m there. “Oi! Listen up folks this next song is a new one that me mate
loves! So out to the absolutely gorge Sophia Bloom…Yeah! by Usher.”
“Wait. YOU are Sophia Bloom?” He almost sounded
sober when he said that. Then of course he laughed which made him sound
downright ridiculous. Why is it that I fancy him then? “He didn’t tell me his
cousin was stunning. My god.” He took me chin in his hand, “Now I remember we
met at the Fellowship junket.” He smiled and regarded me closely. I thought for
sure he was going to kiss me.
I merely nodded. Oh that’s why I fancy him
those gorgeous blue eyes that smile and fuck if he doesn’t smell amazin’. Then
all of a sudden he was gone. I hadn’t realized I’d closed my eyes for a moment
but when I opened them there he was being dragged away by some friends. He
waved and then got distracted by some of the tarts that had been pestering him
earlier.
“Now that was interesting.” Elise said with a
laugh. “Very interesting.”
Just then Brenda came back, “Hey, what’d I
miss?”