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Scene 3 The Jail. BILLY: (to MATRON) Hey, Diesel, get Roxie for me, will ya? (MATRON exits, VELMA crosses to BILLY) VELMA: Billy, am I glad to see you. March 5th is only a few weeks away and I’ve been makin’ plans. Look: For the trial. Silver shoes with Rhinestone Buckles. You like ‘em? BILLY: Very nice. VELMA: I’ll wear something else if you don’t. BILLY: Look, kid, your trial date’s been set back… VELMA: No! BILLY: Less than a month. I had to, sweetie. VELMA: And who got my date? - As if I didn’t know, Roxie Hart? BILLY: Hey, there’s a lot of pressure on me. She’s havin‘ a baby, f’chrissakes. VELMA: Yeah, tell me about it. Listen Flynn, I figure if I am sensational in court, I could get things moving again. I been thinkin’ a lot about my trial. Could I just show you what I thought I might do on the witness stand? BILLY: (disinterested) Go ahead. VELMA: (she cues the orchestra) Hit it! “WHEN VELMA TAKES THE STAND“ (SIX BOYS enter. The whole number is choreographed around VELMA) VELMA: Well, when I got on the stand, I thought I’d take a peek at the jury, and then I’d cross my legs like this, you know. BOYS: WHEN VELMA TAKES THE STAND VELMA: Then, when Harrison cross examines me, I thought I’d give ‘em this… and then if he yells at me I thought I’d tremble like this… ooooh....no... please.... don’t.... BOYS: WHEN VELMA TAKES THE STAND LOOK AT LITTLE VEL SEE HER GIVE ‘EM HELL AIN’T SHE DOIN‘ GRAN SHE GOT EATIN‘ OUT OF THE PALM OF HER HAND! (Dance section. ROXIE enter and watches VELMA in the background SR) VELMA: Then I thought I’d let it all be too much for me, you know, like real dramatic... Then I thought I’d get real thirsty and say ‘please – someone – could I have a glass of water?‘ BOYS: WHEN VELMA TAKES THE STAND SEE THAT KELLY GIRL MAKE THAT JURY WHIRL WHEN SHE TURNS IT ON SHE’S GONNA GET’EM GOIN‘ ‘TILL SHE’S GOT’EM GONE VELMA: Then, I thought I’d cry. Buckets. Only I don’t have a handkerchief – and that’s when I have to ask you for yours! I really like that part. Don’t you? Then I get up and I try to walk, only I’m too weak, so I slump and I slump, and I slump and I slump, until finally, I faint! BOYS: WHEN SHE ROLLS HER EYES WATCH HER TAKE THE PRIZE WHEN VELMA TAKES THE STAND WHEN VELMA TAKES THE STAND (She finishes, on the chair, whilst BOYS moved S.R up the stairs of the bandstand) ROXIE: Is that really what you’re gonna do on the witness stand? VELMA: Yeah. I thought so. ROXIE: Can I offer you just the teeniest bit of criticism? VELMA: Oh, okay! ROXIE: It stinks! BILLY: (to VELMA) I’ll talk to you later. VELMA: I’m not hurt. I guess I’ll go now. But not quietly. (to the ORCHESTRA) May I have my exit music, please? (ORCHESTRA plays a vaudeville exit. VELMA and BOYS dances off with them.) BOYS: WHEN THEY SEE HER SHAKE BET SHE TAKES THE CAKE WHEN VELMA TAKES THE STAND BILLY: (Tough to ROXIE) I’ve been waiting for you for ten minutes. Don’t do that again. OK, I got Amos to file for a divorce. ROXIE: (Slightly arrogant) Yes? So now what? BILLY: So now I can get him on the stand and get him to admit that he made a terrible mistake because he still loves you. And of course, you still love him, and now the jury will be falling all over themselves to play cupid and get you back together again. Smart huh? ROXIE: Smart huh. BILLY: And another thing… ROXY: And another thing… BILLY: When Amos is on the stand, I want you to be knitting. A baby garment. ROXIE: I don’t know how to knit. BILLY: Well, learn. ROXIE: Listen, I am sick and tired of everybody treating me like some dumb, common criminal. BILLY: You are some dumb, common criminal. ROXIE: (Yelling.) Well that’s better than bein’ a greasy Mick lawyer! BILLY: (Yelling back.) Who happens to be saving your ass! ROXIE: Who’s out for all he can steal! BILLY: Oh, maybe you appear in court without me, too huh? ROXY: Maybe I could… just read the morning papers, palsie. They love me. BILLY: Wise up kid. They’d love you a lot more if you were hanged. And you know why? Because it sells more papers. ROXY: You’re fired! BILLY: I quit! (He starts out.) ROXY: Any lawyer in this town would die to have my case! BILLY: (Stopping.) You’re a phony celebrity, kid. In a couple of weeks nobody’ll even know who you are. That’s Chicago. (He leaves.) ROXY: (Yelling after him.) Yeah? We’ll just see about that! HUNYAK: (In the dark as the Winch moves on.) No. No. No. (ROXIE walks down the stairs to the pit.) ROXY: (Over her shoulder.) And I want my five grand back, too! HUNYAK: No. No. No. (Lights go out on ROXIE as the lights come up on the Center Winch.) |