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Scene 2 Limbo (AMOS stands alone in a dim spotlight) "MR CELLOPHANE" AMOS: IF SOMEONE STOOD UP IN A CROWD AND RAISED HIS VOICE UP WAY OUT LOUD AND WAVED HIS ARM AND SHOOK HIS LEG YOU’D NOTICE HIM IF SOMEONE IN A MOVIE SHOW YELLED "FIRE IN THE SECOND ROW, THIS WHOLE PLACE IS A POWDER KEG!" YOU’D NOTICE HIM AND EVEN WITHOUT CLUCKING LIKE A HEN EVERYONE GETS NOTICED NOW AND THEN, UNLESS OF COURSE THAT PERSON IT SHOULD BE INVISIBLE, INCONSEQUENTIAL, ME! CELLOPHANE MR CELLOPHANE SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY NAME MISTER CELLOPHANE ‘CAUSE YOU CAN LOOK RIGHT THROUGH ME WALK RIGHT BY ME AND NEVER KNOW I’M THERE! I TELL YA CELLOPHANE MR CELLOPHANE SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY NAME MISTER CELLOPHANE ‘CAUSE YOU CAN LOOK RIGHT THROUGH ME WALK RIGHT BY ME AND NEVER KNOW I’M THERE… (MUSIC continues under as BILLY walks from stage right past AMOS. AMOS raises his hand as BILLY passes him.) BILLY: Oh, Andy. I didn’t see you there. AMOS: (slightly irritated) Amos. My name is Amos. BILLY: Who said it wasn’t? It’s the kid’s name I’m thinkin’ about. AMOS: What kid? BILLY: Roxie’s kid. You know when she’s due? Early Fall. September. Can you count? September. That means you couldn’t possibly be the father… But I want you to pass out those cigars anyway. I don’t want you to give a damn when people laugh… AMOS: Laugh? Why would they laugh? BILLY: ‘Cause they can count. Can you count? Early Fall? In Roxie’s first statement she says that she hadn’t copulated with you for four months prior to the… incident. AMOS: Well that’s right. We hadn’t done no copulatin’ for four months… early fall. Now wait a minute. (AMOS is lost in his calculations) BILLY: But I want you to forget all that! My client needs your support. AMOS: (bitterly) Well… (still counting)… that don’t figure right. I couldn’t be the father. BILLY: Divorce her? Is that what you said? My God man, you wouldn’t divorce her! Over a little thing like that… (softly) would ya? AMOS: You’re damn right. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll divorce her… (to the audience, after a beat) She probably won’t even notice. BILLY: Ha, you‘re still here, Andy? I thought you’d gone. AMOS: Yeah, I’m still here. I think. (BILLY exits stage left. AMOS walks forward to the audience.) SUPPOSE YOU WAS A LITTLE CAT RESIDIN’ IN A PERSON’S FLAT WHO FED YOU FISH AND SCRATCHED YOUR EARS? YOU’D NOTICE HIM SUPPOSE YOU WAS A WOMAN WED AND SLEEPIN’ IN A DOUBLE BED BESIDE ONE MAN FOR SEVEN YEARS YOU’D NOTICE HIM A HUMAN BEING’S MADE OF MORE THAN AIR WITH ALL THAT BULK, YOU’RE BOUND TO SEE HIM THERE UNLESS THAT HUMAN BEING NEXT TO YOU IS UNIMPRESSIVE, UNDISTINGUISHED YOU KNOW WHO… (MUSIC to:) SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY NAME MISTER CELLOPHANE ‘CAUSE YOU CAN LOOK RIGHT THROUGH ME WALK RIGHT BY ME AND NEVER KNOW I’M THERE! I TELL YA CELLOPHANE MR CELLOPHANE SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY NAME MR CELLOPHANE ‘CAUSE YOU CAN LOOK RIGHT THROUGH ME WALK RIGHT BY ME AND NEVER KNOW I’M THERE NEVER EVEN KNOW I’M THERE! Hope I didn’t take up too much of your time. (AMOS walks off. Lights dim) |