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Scene 13 The Jail (PHOTOGRAPHERS, REPORTERS and MARY SUNSHINE, the MATRON and BILLY enters with GO-TO-HELL-KITTY being held by BILLY) BILLY: (to REPORTERS) Ladies and Gentleman, please, my client will be happy to answer all your questions� (KITTY tries to bite him) Ow, will you stop biting ? I�ll get hydrophobia. KITTY: Go to hell! Go to hell all of you! I�m not answering any more of your stinking, lousy questions! MATRON: Come along Dearie, I�ll show you to your suite. You gonna love it. KITTY: Hey, wait a minute! Do you know who my father is? REPORTERS: No, who? KITTY: He owns all of Hawaii! Go to hell! Go to hell! Go to hell all of you! (Matron leads her off) BILLY: Step right in here, everyone. She will answer all your questions and afterwards I�ll be happy to give you an interview myself... ROXIE: Oh, Miss Sunshine� MARY SUNSHINE: Not now, Roxie. ROXIE: Mr. Flynn! Mr. Flynn! BILLY: (reluctantly) Hi, Trixie, I mean, Roxie. Boy, what a hellion, huh? And a socialite, too! Her mother owns all the pineapples in Hawaii. ROXIE: (angry) What the hell do I care about pineapples? Did ya get my trial date? BILLY: Take it easy, kid. I�ll get to it. (VELMA stops him on his way back to KITTY) VELMA: Mr. Flynn. There�s a couple of things I�d like to discuss about my trial, too. BILLY: (stopping momentarily) Hiya, Velma. First things first, honey. (he leaves.) Ha... Miss Sunshine.... do you mind if I call you Mary? MARY SUNSHINE: Oh no... (they exit together) ROXIE: (To herself) Pineapples. I got a feeling you�re in trouble, Roxie. VELMA: (To herself) Socialite. You lose again, Velma. (Drum roll under) ROXIE: (To herself) There�s only one person who can help you know, Roxie. VELMA: (To herself) There�s only one person you can count on now, Velma. ANNOUNCER 5: And now, Miss Roxie Hart and Miss Velma Kelly sing a song of unrelenting determination and unmitigated ego. | |
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"MY OWN BEST FRIEND" ROXIE: ONE THING I KNOW AND I�VE ALWAYS KNOWN I AM MY OWN BEST FRIEND BABY�S ALIVE BUT BABY�S ALONE AND BABY�S HER OWN BEST FRIEND ROXIE & VELMA: MANY�S THE GUY WHO TOLD ME HE CARES BUT THEY WERE SCRATCHIN� MY BACK CAUSE I WAS SCRATCHIN� THEIRS ROXIE: AND TRUSTING TO LUCK THAT�S ONLY FOR FOOLS I PLAY IN THE GAME WHERE I MAKE THE RULES ROXIE & VELMA: AND RULE NUMBER ONE FROM HERE TO THE END IS I AM MY OWN BEST FRIEND THREE MUSKETEERS (CHORUS hums in background) WHO NEVER SAY DIE (CHORUS hums louder in the background) ARE STANDING HERE THIS MINUTE ROXIE: ME MYSELF AND I! |
VELMA: ONE THING I KNOW AND I�VE ALWAYS KNOWN I AM MY OWN BEST FRIEND BABY�S ALIVE BUT BABY�S ALONE AND BABY�S HER OWN BEST FRIEND VELMA: TRUSTING TO LUCK (she laughs) THAT�S ONLY FOR FOOLS I PLAY IN THE GAME WHERE I MAKE THE RULES VELMA: ME MYSELF AND I! |
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(CHORUS: AND I, AND I, AND I, I,I,I in the background) ROXIE & VELMA: IF LIFE IS A SCHOOL (CHORUS hums) I�LL PASS EVERY TEST (CHORUS hums) IF LIFE IS A GAME (CHORUS hums) I�LL PLAY IT THE BEST (CHORUS hums) �CAUSE I WON�T GIVE IN AND I�LL NEVER BEND AND I AM MY OWN BEST FRIEND (CHORUS hums a big finish. VELMA & ROXIE bow. ROXIE faints) VELMA: (looking at ROXIE lying on the floor) What the hell was that? ROXIE: (lifting her head a little to call the press) Mr. Flynn? Miss Sunshine? And all you reporters! Don�t worry about me. It�s just that� I�m gonna have� a baby. (Chord) ALL: A baby! (REPORTERS freeze) VELMA: Shit. BILLY: I want the best doctor in the city for my poor client. Somebody pick that girl up. (Hiatus of REPORTERS talking to ROXIE while VELMA sings:) VELMA: AND ALL THAT JAZZ! END OF ACT 1 | |