The Randomnity Constant (Dummies' Explanation)

Now, to take all of this perhaps just a thread too far;

Since randomnity exists in all things, all around us, in different measures, then it must in fact have a constant, since it always exists. Since the word 'random' in essence is the only identifiable constant when discussing randomnity, it then must in fact be the constant. Now, since the constant exists in all things, all things must be random. And, the only constant that can be applied to all things is the number 1, since everything that exists has a factor of 1, since it is one of itself. This means that randomnity must equal 1.
So "Wait a sec here" I hear you say, "if randomnity equals 1, then the number 1 itself must be random. And that can't be true, since 1 is always the same."
This statement is absolutely true, the number 1 always equals 1, and so is not random. But what we are missing is what this so called '1' is in relation to, since every measurement is in relation to some object or idea (Degrees Celsius in comparison to water's boil/freeze points, rotations in comparison to 360 degrees). From the previous statement about randomnity constantly moving between identifiable and unidentifiable, this means that if randomnity has a constant of 1, then the number 1 must also drift between these two values.

Okay, I don't understand a word of that, but i'll take your word for it, so "What number's can't we identify?"

It is pretty obvious we can identify any number that we can see in real life, be it a single sheet of paper or a billion barrels of oil. The only numbers that we cannot identify are zero, since it has no true measurement and so cannot truly identify it, and ~ (infinity), being a number that cannot be calculated or compared.
Now, through all of this complicated, almost pointless working out, if the boundaries above and below this so-called "solid" number one cannot be measured and can be defined as "random" - the number 1 must in fact change in relation to 0 and ~. So, from this, the number 1 can at times be equal to 0.4, or 56300, or any other positive value between 0 and ~.

Hmm, how interesting. You have somehow proven that randomnity is and yet is not random, and 1 does and does not equal 1. I still don't understand how, but anyway, why do we really care?

Well, you don't care, obviously, but I was merely defining randomnity, and in the process proving what most people already knew - that I can argue anything at all, as long as i'm awake. Well, that was an interesting page and a half, and thanks for reading, and attempting to understand. =D

P.S. On a day-later notice, I was toying with the idea of random being the same as unexpected, since something random is inevitably unexpected, and anything unexpected is inevitably random. I abandoned this theorem on the following basis: If I told everyone that exactly one year from now that I was going to paint every cat in the country blue (which would be quite humorous and possibly toxic), and told everybody daily I was going to do it, it would not be any less random when I did it, even though everybody would be expecting it. Any further thoughts on the essence of randomnity will be included here if anybody has any to send in. Above all, Doughnutopia in its very essence is for everybody, so if anyone has anything random or merely humorous, feel free to send them to me at [email protected]. I reserve all rights to make minor changes any material included - and once edited, to include a copyright under the name of the author.

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