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Lori's Journal page 3

Nov 23, 24, 25
Went to Hank's place for Thanksgiving. It was O.K. but spent most of the time sleeping, watching T.V. and playing with Moose. It was so nice to get out on my own for a few day's. Today is my Birthday and it sucked. Did nothing. Came back here to Adds and to my friends. At least being here it has made my birthday so muck better. Exspecally someone I care about.Hoping they did'nt go out and drink and I feel they did'nt which is good. Well that's all.
Nov 26
Today has been a O.K. day. Not been feeling so good today. Hank came to see me for about a hour. We play'ed some cards. I went in and slept after he left. I just been kinda walking in a daze today. Try'ed to keep my mind focused even went in to take a shower and it only helped for a little while. It dose feel good to be back. It seem's I can only handle a few day's with Hank anymore before he start's to irrate me. I love him so much but he has to understand everything cannt alway's go his way. Exspeccally telling me how I will spend my money. It makes me feel like I should give it to him. But I sure as hell wont do that. I think I just need a good lay. Time to go. It's 9:00. Doubt Brian will let me. He always want's to play cards.
Nov 27
Went out looking for work today. Had luck at Target! Filled out a applacation had a job interview and they sent me off to do a U.A. I feel that I have the job because why would they hire me or have me do a U.A. if I was'nt hired. K Mart also called so I need to call them back and most likely have a interview with them. Seem's my horoscope was right today about having so many option's that I can pick and choose from. For being a Monday it has really been great. Now all I have to do is call Hank and let him know what is going on. I'm sure he will be pissed off that I did'nt get a chance to talk to Christa but oh well. Life goes on. Put up Christmas decoration's here and it looks pretty good in here. All in all it's been a good day.
Nov 28
Today has been a very frustrating day. Trying to find work and Hank being very demanding of me. Wanting everything done his way. I did get my car here tho and that is good. I feel that Hank know's I am slowly moving away from him. Being my own person and getting my fredom back. He no langer has the contral over me that he seems to desprately need. I feel alive again. I lost my driver's lic. and found it in the van thank god! Well all in all today has been good. Hank is going to Indiana tomarrow with Aloce and will be gone for three day's. So tomarrow will take it easy and hope that Target will call.
Nov 29
Today started off good until I got a call from Manpower to do a spot job. I went out at 9:30 am to the Recyling Center to sort pop bottles they were plastic. I really butsted my back end working. Taking green plastic bottles off one conver belt to throw them on another belt to be shredded. Come to find out they only pay'ed $5.15 for doing this. So I worked 5.25 hours for a lousy 25 dollar's. This place here get's 1/3 of that so that barely pay's for my cig's and gas. My left knee started hurting me really bad still hurts now. It did feel good to go out and work but I swear it'll be a long time before I pick up a bottle of Mt Dew again. Thought of Debbie alot seeing all those MT Dew bottles. That is one job I will never do again tho for that Kinda pay. I am really sore and will close for now since I am dog ass tired.
Dec 1
Yesterday I was down sick so did'nt write. Today I got up feeling a lot better. Still a little sick but worked it off anyway today has been a fairly good day. Went to the libriary and got on the computer. Checked out my mail. Nothing was in it. Came back here and worked on my life story and did a couple of one on ones. We all went to the A.A. meeting tonight. I am trying very hard not to talk but to listen what everyone has to say and learn from them. Hank show'ed up and found out he was mad at his sister's and not me. Told me that he'll be showing up on Sunday. We'll see. Anyway not much else happen'ed. So thats all for now.
Dec 2
Today started off good. But hurt my wrist bowling and was told I still had to bowl. Did my hair today. My wrist hurts so am going to stop writting dont care if I get wrote up. Hurts to much am tired also.
Dec 3
My wrist is much better today still get sharp pain's up my arm once in awhile. Hank came to visit today. Told me about getting a 6 point buck and promised to give me a couple of roast's for everyone here to enjoy. It was a slow day today. The kind I like. Still have drinking thoughts but am trying very hard to control them and I do try to talk about it. Nothing else really happen'ed. Am experiencing feelings tho that I have not felt in a long time. Feel's good tho. Well thats all for now. In two day's it'll be three months that I'v been in treatment.
Dec 4
Today has been a fantastic day. Went out as usual on my job search and stopped at Target to see how it was coming along. Well I start on Wensday. At least my orientation. From 4-7. I finnally see a way out! A new begining for me. I'm hoping that with in a month's time I will have my own place to start a new.The cravings are still there but not as bad. Hopefully with prayer they will go away. Well that is all for now.
Dec 5
Today started off O.K. Pass got denied because no one explained to me that pass's are only good for 24 hours. I am trying to liik at the positive side which is I will probably be working anyway. Well everone is down sick today. There were only a few of us up. We are getting a new girl in tomarrow. We are packed up tight now. Poor girl is waking into a bunck of sick people. Some mentally some psycally. We all did green sheets today. Seen'ed O.K. Considering Carol had to do them all. God I can't wait till I'm out of here. Thinking of calling the motel.
Dec 6
Today has been a fantastic day. Went up to the college and got my G.E.D. started. My files are being transfer'ed there. I go in Jan 16 th at 10:00 am to start testing they have Chemical Dependance class'es also. Hank stopped be to pick me up to take me to the college and dropped off a couple of venison roast for all of us here. Also went to orentation at Target tonight. Will start friday 9:00 am to 2:00 pm to train for cashier. Then I will be put back into flow. That's stocking chelves, taking boxs of the truck anyway been a great day.
Dec 7
My day today sucked. Group was called several times over stupis shit, that people should have the common sense to know. My hour's were'nt posted at work. The job I did ai the Recyl Center, I got 12.09 for. They took over half my check. Hopefully tomarrow will be better. That's all for now