Episode 8 - A Hearty Salute to the School Custodian This article was published on Feb. 3, 2003
Every teen in the United States has their soapbox. A cause to fight for, something that we want to change for the better. "Save the rainforest" - "Don't Wear Fur" - "Conserve Water" - "Skateboarding is not a crime" those sort things. We're working to make the world better one person at a time. Now most environmentalists would literately kill someone if tons of sticky material suddenly appeared in the middle of a wild Panda reserve, yet not one teen really cares when a 20-ounce pop is spilt in the halls of high school. Nobody really seems to notice all the gum stuck to the bottom of desks and chairs.
Why doesn't your average teen care about the state of their own school, their own "habitat?" Because they're not the one having to clean it up, that's why! But the fact is that your school is full of hard working individuals that try to save your "natural habitat" everyday. They are called janitors or more appropriately custodians (literally meaning - they who takes care of the school).
I've had an interesting experience with the custodians. After the need for a great amount of community service came about, I found myself working with some of the district's hardest working janitors. You can learn a lot from walking in another person's shoes. So here's what I've learned from my time in custodian shoes.
1. Now, don't take this personally, but teenagers are pigs. Think about the state of your room, now times that mess by the number of kids at your school. Now you see the problem. Many of the responsibilities of your average custodian involve picking up trash. Your pop bottles, candy wrapper, and homework somehow miss the trash can and end up on the floor. This is the reason most janitors have back problems and are sometimes grumpy.
2. Tons of stuff happens at a high school. In my few hours of work, I must have moved 50 tables back and forth between rooms. If it wasn't for the hard work and support of your school's custodians, activities such as your dances, assemblies, and school plays would never happen.
3. Your high school is never completely clean. Even the summer break is not enough to get all the grime that is left behind by 1000 or more teens. Teens (especially boys for some reason) vandalize their lockers, their desks, and their bathrooms. Even new schools are as dirty as the old ones after a few years. For all the hard work of school custodians, there's always something else that needs to be done.
So for all the janitors out there I ask you, as a citizen of these great United States, to stand for something, and keep the natural habitat of the American Teen clean so that those who follow may enjoy the natural beauty of the school. Pick up that candy wrapper, I know bending over is a big effort for most teens out there, but we can do it! Spit your gum into the trash can, if we all do a little, we can do a lot! Stop vandalism before it starts! Remember that keeping your school clean is not a crime.
I dedicate this article to my dad, the Head Custodian at Central Davis Junior High. Back to Top
Episode 9 - Trick-or-Teen This article was published on Nov. 4, 2002 I was part of a four person committe who went out to trick-or-treat on halloween. They filled out forms just like mine, but to save space, I've decided not to include their stories. Just mine.
Every Halloween it happens. You open the door and standing on your porch -- bag out and ready -- is one pretty big kid. A kid heads and devil horns above the rest.
A teenager out trick-or-treating.
This Halloween, some of those too-big kids were four TX. writers who wanted to find out what happens when teens go trick-or-treating.
So they rustled up some costumes, grabbed their pillowcases and ventured out into the night to take part once more in a favorite childhood ritual.
How did it go? Here are their stories.
Don Eisenbarth Grade:Senior Costume: A ghost. Basically, I put a sheet over my head and cut holes into it. Anything for free candy. How long did you trick-or-treat? 3 1/2 hours. I used to go for 6 hours so this was a really short time. But I got so tired I decided to call it quits early. Guess I just got too old for this. How much candy did you get?I filled about half of my pillowcase. Who did you go trick-or-treating with?My 12-year-old brother and all of his friends.
When was the last time you went trick-or-treating?About five years ago, when I was 12. What kind of reactions did you get? Well, you don"t often see a 6-foot 3-inch guy asking for candy. Most people thought it was comical, others didn"t know what to think. I got candy from everyone, so I really can"t complain. Positive reactions: Most people thought, "Hey, it"s a bigger kid, he obviously needs more candy." I ended up getting about twice the candy my brother got. Negative reactions: None, unless you count getting laughed at a bad reaction. Did anyone refuse to give you candy? Weirdly, no. I always got candy, however, one of my brother"s friends went trick-or-treating without a costume. HE had people refuse to give him candy. Did anyone ask you how old you were? Yep, about five people. Actually the question was "Aren"t you a little big to be doing this?" What was the worst reaction? My brother was much faster and once got a whole house ahead of me. So, I went to one door by myself. I rang the doorbell and the guy opened the door. He stared at me for what seemed like minutes. I said, "Trick or treat!," and then he reached for the candy, never taking his eyes off me. He gave the candy to me and continued to stare at me as I walked away, as if he was in shock over what he had seen. What was the best? This old lady saw me and just started laughing. She continued to laugh as she handed my brother and his friends their fun-sized candy bars. She also continued to laugh as she handed me my full-sized candy bar. What was the funniest thing that happened? Pick one of the above two stories and then multiply them by 30 times. That would be my night. It was an excellent, fun experience I will never forget. To choose one experience would be impossible. Did you get any comments from other trick-or-treaters? Yeah. Mostly it was my brother"s friends saying it was such a rip how I always got more candy. Other people just stared at me as I walked by with a sheet over my head. How did you feel as you trick-or-treated? At first, I felt really stupid, but as the night went on, I really started to enjoy it. I began to remember things from my childhood that had disappeared a long time ago. I felt something I hadn"t felt in a long time. It was just pure fun. For about four hours, I forgot that I"m a 17-year-old teen getting ready to apply to college. I forgot that I wasn"t asked to the Harvest dance. I became a 12-year-old kid. I took a step back in time. It was awesome. Would you do it again? Absolutely, although an 18-year-old trick-or-treater might seem a little odd. Other observations: How is it that since I"ve become older, kids are getting more candy? When I was young, every house gave me one piece of candy. Nowadays, it was abnormal not to have a house that didn"t give you at least three. It was much easier this year to get a good haul; you didn"t have to work as hard.
Episode 10 - Can We Please Go Back to the Olden Days? This article was published March 31 Yeah, I think I like this headline. Works well. This is a nice article. It works well, too.
Last summer I took a real shinning to the movie-theater. Star Wars: Episode II had just come out, and because of money woes I was forced to wait for three weeks after the opening to go see it. I found my seat and watched as the action played out on the screen. Near the ending things were getting intense, I was on the edge of my seat when suddenly: BRIIIIIINNNNGG! Some guy's cell phone goes off. Annoyed I tried to concentrate on the movie but: BRIIIIIINNNNGG it went off again! Well, I've completely lost the excitement, and so I slouch down into my seat. Meanwhile, the cell phone guy has to nerve to ANSWER the phone and TALK to the person on the other line. Because of the fact that he was at a movie theater, the man had to talk really loud to allow the person on the other end (and everyone in the theater) hear his dramatic conversation on whether to have pancakes or waffles for breakfast tomorrow.
With this experience (and many others like it) firmly implanted into my brain, I was quite flabbergasted when my sister, a sophomore at Northridge High School, suggested that my family actually spend money, and buy a cellular phone. I was required to show why cell phones may not be the best idea.
Cell phones have become common place in everyday life, even to the point that I once had this conversation:
Friend: What's wrong with your phone? There's something attached to it.
Me: You mean the cord?
Friend: Phones have cords?
Maybe I'm just a little sentimental, but I've always preferred the phones that are still plugged into the wall (Friend: Your phone is plugged into the wall?). These "old school" phones give me the freedom to talk to anyone I need to, while not getting in my way. There are many reasons why people want cell phones, but let me give you may reasons for the non-cell way.
1. Saves time. Once upon a time, minutes were a unit of measurement for time. Such as: If you're not up here in 2 minutes, you're grounded. Unfortunately, with the introductions of cell phone "plans," the word "minutes" has been mutilated. A minute is not a minute anymore, minutes are now classified as weekend minutes, peaktime minutes, weekday minutes, unlimited minutes, anytime minutes, sixty minutes, minute maid, nighttime minutes and so forth. In the end, choosing the "plan" for you takes too many minutes.
2. The invasion of privacy. Think about this, with the cell phone in your pocket you now have a way for everyone, everywhere to talk to you. At any and all times you could be talking to friends, family and complete strangers. There are people I know who talk on their phones 24/7. Take a break! You don't need to talk to people all day. In olden days, they used to send people who heard voices all day to an insane asylum. Sure, you can turn the cell phone off, but if you do that, you may miss the call you've been waiting for all day. Also, the convenience of the cell phone allows you to call from anywhere, I mean anywhere! On one of my trips to Salt Lake, I was inside the ZCMI center when nature called. I went to use the restroom and when I walked in I was quite surprised to find 3 guys all using their cell phones while in the bathroom at the ZCMI center. Now come on! I don't want to live in a world where I have to wonder if where the place a person is calling me from is appropriate.
3. Annoyance. If I got a nickel for every time a cell phone has rang during a movie, a play, a test, a lesson, a doctors appointment, a concert, or dinner, I would have enough money to afford my own house (I'm not kidding). There's actually a device that makes cell phones unusable in a certain building, and the government has actually made these devices illegal!
We could have quiet evenings, no annoyances, and true privacy, like they did in the olden days, but instead we're given the constant ring of our friend, the cell phone.
If you need to call me, please call on Saturday. I'm all out of weekday minutes.
Episode 11 - Pop Music and Nuclear Explosions: More in Common Then You Think This article was not published
Passion, enthusiasm, excitement, devotion. These are the feelings that come when somebody really cares about someone, or something. In high school, I really don't see those types of feelings that often. There really isn't anything that teens really care about, or so it seemed. My eyes have been opened to the one subject in which all teens love, and hate with more thought and emotion then they've put into any test. I'm talking about the universal language, Music.
Every teen enjoys music and every teen hates music. What makes the music enjoyable is its style or genre (French word meaning, "style"). The genre of the music can greatly determine the amount of teens that enjoy it. The one genre that no teen appears to like is country. I also don't care for country; it's not that it's necessarily bad music because it's not, but it just doesn't work with the modern youth of America. I don't know why more teens don't like country, perhaps it's the lyrics ("No, I ain't hoed a row since I don't know when") but country is not as popular as it once was.
Back on the real subject of this article, devotion. Many teens seem incredibly devoted to a certain music that doesn't make sense to any other human beings in the world. I'm talking about groups that can only be listened to "properly" at the same volume of a small nuclear explosion. Groups like Korn, Limp Biskit, Linkin Park, and those types of hard music.
Again, it's not necessarily bad music, even if it sounds like a fork got caught in a blender, but it just doesn't sound good to anyone except the modern youth of America. The average hard rock song consists of a heavy beat, loud guitars, and a "vocalist." Most vocalists sound like a dog undergoing a root canal. The words are barely audible, except for the swear words which come out LOUD and clear. I don't know why some teens love this type of music, perhaps it's the incredibly depressing lyrics or the swear words, but this type of rough music is extremely popular with most teens.
I have, on many occasions, voiced my opinion on this "music" and the many other injustices upon humanity coming out of radios nowadays. I have also, on even more occasions, been told that I am a complete idiot for thinking that this "music" isn't good. One such time when I was rebuked for my opinions went something like this,
Punk: How can you (bleep) think that that's bad music? You wouldn't (bleep) know good music if it (bleep) kicked the (bleep) out of your (bleep).
Why do people care so much for this music? Perhaps, it's because this music somehow (don't ask me how) touches them in a personal way. Perhaps it was a bad day, and by listening to this music they (again, don't ask me how) feel better about themselves and their life again. It brought them back to good feelings and better times. They like it for the same reasons you and I like our music, because it's OUR music. So, I guess we just better respect their views in music as they respect ours. The point is: you better get (bleep) used to all sorts of music, because someone, somewhere just loves the (bleep) out of that horrible song that you can't stand.
Episode 12 - Thanksgiving: Don't Let It Get Lost in the Rush This article was published the Monday before Thanksgiving, whenever that was.
The fall season is the best part of the year in my mind. Between the football on television every weekend, the crisp fall air, the leaves of all different colors, it's just a great time in the intermountain west. The upcoming ending of fall brings with it another great season. You know the season I'm talking about, the season that starts in the late part of October, the season that brings cold and chilling nights. That's right, I'm talking about the holiday season.
The holiday season officially starts at the end of August where stores are required to start hanging up Christmas decorations. No, seriously, the holiday season starts with Halloween, that dark day where little kids go running all over the town getting free candy. It is on the day after Halloween (which was called in olden days November 1) that the stores bring out the Christmas decorations.
This time I'm telling the truth. Many people, in the rush of the holiday season seem to forget about one holiday that falls right between Halloween and Christmas. I am talking about Hanukkah, I mean, Thanksgiving.
Yes, Thanksgiving! The wondrous holiday in which we celebrate the feast that happened between the Pilgrims and the Native Americans by eating everything in sight and watching the Detroit Lions lose.
I've always wondered about how the first Thanksgiving went. Maybe it went like this:
Native American: I'm thankful for our new friends the pilgrims.
Pilgrim 1: I'm thankful that we have guns, and you don't.
Native American: Hey, watch where you point that thing.
Pilgrim 2: The Detroit Lions lost again.
The problem is that many people don't observe this holiday in the same vigor as they do other holidays like Christmas or Halloween. Perhaps it is because of the fact that we receive many gifts on Christmas and Halloween, while we don't receive anything on Thanksgiving (except for a stomachache). Could it be the American people just aren't thankful? Could it be that we are all so caught up in what we are getting that we don't notice what we already have?
I sure hope not, so for my observance of Thanksgiving this year, I will now tell you what I am thankful for.
I am thankful for the house over my head. (I say "house" because I live in the basement)
I am thankful for the (rather large amounts of) food that I eat.
I am thankful for my parents who give me my house and my food.
I am thankful for this country, where any fool can be printed in a newspaper.
I am thankful that this is the last season of "Friends"
I am actually thankful that I can go to school.
I am thankful for my teachers who took up that noble profession, even if they are smart enough to do something more profitable.
I am thankful that I am a senior.
I am thankful that I never have to be a high school sophomore again in my life.
I am thankful for all my siblings, even my little sister from Northridge who says that I need to mention her in every article.
I am thankful for my freedoms, and rights, and all other good things.
I am thankful for my friends, who stand by me even when I do things that make me look like a complete idiot.
Episode 13 - In the words of Bill Nye, "Science Rules" This article was not published
There's a subject that when mentioned strikes fear into the heart of the everyday high school student. A subject so horrible, that it's had to be developed over the space of millennia, the dreadful subject of SCIENCE.
There aren't many people in schools who really like science, and if there is students that actually like science, they are too afraid to show their face. So, I'll be the first to admit it. Hello, I'm Don, and I like science. I'm a product of PBS, I thought Bill Nye rocked. In fact, I still do. I enjoy the sciences; they can actually be fun classes. But let's be honest, science is hard until you get it. The problem is that many students today just don't know the basic to your high school sciences. All sciences are like a pyramid; you have to have a good base to build up. So here, as a public service to all you struggling science students out there, is the basic knowledge for all of your science classes.
CHEMISTRY
All things are made up of tiny, tiny particles called atoms. Each atom has a nucleus (protons) and electrons. An element is made up of many atoms that have the same amounts of protons and electrons. The elements are sorted into the periodic table of the elements (named as to remind you that only one person in each class period will understand how the table works).
On the periodic table each element is given a 1 or 2 letter symbol. Most symbols are easy to follow. C is the symbol for carbon, O for oxygen, H for hydrogen, Y for Ytterbium (I'm serious. That's an actual element!). However, some elements don't come out that cleanly. Au is the symbol for Gold, Pb for lead and W for tungsten.
Using the knowledge of the atoms and symbols of the elements, you can come up with chemical formulas for everything in the world. H2O (water), CO2 (carbon dioxide, what you breathe out), and WHY (I don't know) are all examples of chemical formulas.
PHYSICS
Physics is the study of motion. When you really think of it, everything moves. You move, time moves, even rush-hour traffic eventually moves. Good portions of materials in the universe move in waves. There are radio waves, microwaves, electromagnetic waves, the wave (as seen at your favorite sporting event), sound waves, ocean waves, light waves, and so forth.
Waves have many features that make each wave unique. Such unique characteristics are the speed of the wave, which is called the velocity (a Latin word meaning, "speed"), the wavelength (or in other words, the length of the wave), and the frequency, which is measured in hertz (to which I say "ouch"). You can see the basic relation between these three features of the wave in the equation "v = f h c," where "v" stands for velocity, "f" stands for frequency, "h" stands for wavelength, and "c" stands for the chance of a average high school student getting an A on their next physics exam (usually close to 0).
I sincerely hope I have been able to help you in your struggles in science. I think many of you have noticed I am skipping Biology. Biology is the study of living things. Living things usually have icky liquids in them, and seeing how I just ate breakfast I don't think talking about icky liquids is the best thing to do right now. So, for you who need help in biology I suggest taking your biology book and smashing it against your head real hard! It may not help you know biology, but at least you'll know what "Megahertz" means when you take physics next year.
Episode 14 - PDAs? Please Don't This article was published January 6
They lean up against the locker just before reaching his classroom and he turns to her.
"Well," he says as he wipes a hanging strand of hair off of her face and behind her ear, "I've got math class and you've got English. This is where I'm going to have to leave you."
She looks into his eyes as he puts his arm around her waist.
"I'll be waiting," she says, as they lean closer. "It will be the longest class of my life."
They continue to lean closer and closer into each other as they come in for a kiss. I walk by as their lips part and only one thought comes to my mind: "Ewwww."
PDAs -- or Public Displays of Affection -- are an all-too-common appearance in high schools. They can be heartwarming for some, for others they can be nauseating.
I'm one of those who believe that a PDA is not the type of thing I want to see right after lunch (I mean the "meat" they served in the cafeteria isn't sitting well anyway; why would I want to unsettle my stomach anymore than it already is?).
To find out how most teens truly felt about this subject, I recently had a few conversations with my friends from various schools. Now, after minutes of study, I feel prepared to tell you the four truths about the little thing known as a PDA.
1. The school is not your home. The school is a large community where hundreds of people come together to learn. Wait, let me make sure you read that. The school is a large community where hundreds of people come together to learn. It is not your bedroom, you are not alone and there are always people around you.
"Why don't you just look away if you see a PDA?" you may want to ask me, and I'll tell you why. Because there is nowhere else to look. Let's face it, two people standing in the middle of the hall is hard to avoid, and if I do avoid looking at you, I'm automatically looking at some other couple.
2. Girls want romance. A really good girlfriend of mine told me this. (I think she was trying to get me to ask her out. Too bad for her, eh?) She told me that a PDA was just another way to get some romance that girls so desperately need in their lives.
I ask you, what could be more romantic than a school hallway? To me a PDA shows a couple who is not really trying. ("Well, I'm going to see you at school tomorrow anyway. Why don't we make out there?") Now, I am not one of those people who are against love -- far from it. But I believe that if you really like someone, show some effort and take her or him out. Go to a park or a movie; don't use those minutes in between classes as a date.
3. A girl is not a fish. A display of affection is supposed to display affection, right? Wrong. There are many times when a couple goes walking around school conjoined at the hip for the show of it, as if to say, "Look who I caught." This infraction mainly happens with guys, who take their "prize" girlfriend everywhere to show off their catch to everyone and anyone who bothers to see.
But a girl is not a trophy so don't treat her like one. When you walk around the school with her, treat her with the same respect that you would if her parents were around.
4. Too much is WAY too much. Most people agree you can show your affection to your loved one while still maintaining a good atmosphere in your school. A small PDA by itself is not the problem. It's when people show us way too much that there's a problem.
So, just how much is too much when it comes to a PDA? I once thought everything was too much, but after I found I wasn't "in the norm," I changed my stance to this: Anything that requires you to stop walking is too much. Holding hands while you're walking, fine. Arm in arm while walking works for me. If you can kiss and continue to walk without tripping, then I guess you deserve it. (Then the people in the halls with you can at least place bets on how long it will be before you fall.)
The main point is to understand that you, as a citizen of your high school, must take other students into consideration. Some of us, for whatever reason, have decided not to bring our affections to school, and perhaps it might be wise for you to try and do the same for the rest of us. If not, could you at least hand us barf bags as we pass by?
Episode 15 - Eye think wee shud ferget about spill checkers This article was published January 13
A wise man once said that "the pen is mightier than the sword." (Although if a guy was charging at me with a sword I wouldn't want to get caught with some wimpy pen in my hands.)
What this saying really means is that writing and learning can be more persuasive and commanding than pure brute force. How many people in the world are truly mighty? How many of you can say that you have a true grasp of writing good enough to make a difference. Not even I, a guy who just happens to get printed in the newspaper once in a while, have a real good
grasp of language. So, here to help all of us perfect our English is a noted English Professor from Whatsamatter University, Dr. Albert Halsey.
Q. Hello Doctor, is everything good at Whatsamatter U?
A. Yes, things are quite good.
Q. Doctor, in your best honest opinion, what's wrong with anything in the Modern English language?
A. That question had too many grammatical errors in it; I refuse to answer.
Q. Fair enough. What 1 item, do you think, has the most negative impact on the English language?
A. The Spell Checker.
Q. The Spell Checker? I thought that would help.
A. The ability to have your words spelt for you has led us to not know how to spell. Plus, spell checkers aren't reliable.
Q. What do you mean bye not reliable? Eye use a spell checker all the time, and it's never always worked for me two.
A. Let me guess, you used your spell checker on this article?
Q. Of course, can't you sea that eye used it. Eye mean can't you sea that every word is spelt write?
A. Oh, forget it, let's move on.
Q. What else is causing trouble for us English Speakers?
A. There's an expanding convention of colloquial language in adolescents.
Q. That means?
A. (Sigh) Kids use too much slang.
Q. Can you give us an example?
A. Sure. Consider the average chatter of an average blonde valley girl. "Like, so, like, Jimmy and Jenny were going out, you know? To the mall, you know? And like, I ran into them? And I was like "wow" and like, it was like, you know? Like, really neat?" Also, teens are using words that mean one thing, and using them in a whole new manner. Words such as "tight" and "sick" have been changed into words that mean the same as "cool." Laws need to be in place to ban sentences such as "This is tight" or "that was sick." (Strangely enough the word "whack" is perfectly fine, as in "that was whack."
Q. Is there anything else we need to know?
A. Yes, but there is too much to cover and not enough time.
Q. Well, then would you like to say something to end today?
A. I'd just like to remind everyone that improper English use makes us all look dumb. So you and me need to always take a look at what we are writing and saying.
Q. I think it's "you and I" professor.
A. What?
I hope by reading this you have learned something about your English skills and what we can all do to write better. Now, that the interview is over, I think eye bitter put this article in my spell checker two see if the words are split write.
Episode 16 - Just Leave Already! This article has not been published
A recent conversation with my friend had me thinking over a tough math problem: what is 180 times three?
You may be asking to yourself, why would anyone care about such a math problem? Each year every school has to have 180 days of school, meaning that in your 3 years of high school you will experience about 540 days of school. Now, my friend wanted to see this number brought down, he's done enough work that he can now graduate early at the end of his junior year. Subtracting 180 days off of his high school career making (let's see 540 - 180 is...) 360 days total in high school.
Any math student will tell you all these equations work out correctly, but there's just something that doesn't seem right for me. His equation doesn't account for the experience of his senior year. I've barely finished half of my senior year, and there's no way that I would want to give this up. Everyday of school is another day with friends, another day of experiences with all the great people at my school.
I do understand where my friend is coming from; he gets a chance to start early on college and on real life. But I say (pardon my French) to heck with real life. You know how long you have to live your "real life?" All of your life. But we only have 3 years in high school, so why would you want to cut 1/3 of this extremely short time away?
Every 5 years my parents get letters from two small high schools in Idaho (then again, all high schools in Idaho are small). These letters announce the latest reunion of their high school graduating class. As far as I know, my parents have never missed a reunion. Why do my parents care so much to relive their high school events that happened over a quarter century ago? Because you only go to high school once. There's now and only now to enjoy being at school and to get experiences to basically last you a lifetime.
I know that even after I go to college and go on to my life after this year I'll always remember what I've accomplished and seen during my quick stay in high school.
I really think I'll miss it.
So to my friend and to all people who are currently working towards early graduation, or are considering early graduation this is what I say to you. You are smart, you must be if you have the ability to graduate early, but I don't envy you. I wonder if you truly understand what you'll lose by working all the time. You are senseless if you can't see that high school isn't all about books and learning, it's about living and enjoying your youth while you still can. Remember that time doesn't work like most math problems. You can't subtract time, time just keeps adding up, so multiply your enjoyment in high school by staying with it until you and your friends divide up at graduation day. Now that's math that everyone can understand.
Episode 17 - Sophomore are (sort of) people too. This article has not been published
None of us can know everything. Even if you were the smartest person in the world, there would be something that you didn't know about. I'm definitely not the smartest person in the world, and there are many things that don't make a lick of sense to me. "American Idol," stamp collecting, and Arena Football are just some of the things I never quite understood.
The one item I understood the least is hatred towards underclassmen. For those of you who don't know who "underclassmen" are; Webster's dictionary defines them as: "a student in the freshman or sophomore class of a high school." Webster's dictionary also defines a cluck as: "a sound of clucking," but that's not important.
When I went to my first days of high school back when dinosaurs ruled the earth (or at least it felt that long ago). I believed that I'd be welcomed into school as a torchbearer, a younger student that the older students could pass on the legacy of a proud school, to continue the tradition burning forever. However, within the first month I felt as insignificant as the fruit vending machine that nobody uses and all the apples inside are brown and have flies around them.
I remember the "homecoming" assembly well. Following school tradition, the Student Body President would start calling roll for every class that Layton High had ever had. "Class of 1969? Nobody? Class of 1970? No? Class of 1971?" Etc. When it got time to announce the incoming class of 2003. The whole audience of our peers turned to the sophomore seating section, and with one voice exclaimed... "BOOOOOOOOO"
Why? It has always puzzled me. Finally, however, I think I may understand. I've grown a little wiser over the past few years, and I think I've got a couple of viable reasons why underclassmen abuse is so popular.
Reason #1 - Because. The older classes have pressures put upon them to do well in class, get jobs and overall be leaders. Those pressures can cause stress. Who can these kids take their stress out upon? Well, they can't take their stress out on their teachers (they'd get a U), or their parents (they'd get grounded), or their bosses (they'd get fired). So, the underclassmen play the vital roles as punching bags. I've heard this is also called the "little brother effect."
Reason #2 - They're still scarred from when they were an underclassman. (I guess it would be underclassperson since I want to be politically correct) The cycle of mistrust must be broken. Will you, the underclasspeople of today, stand up when you are older and stop the verbal abuse of sophomores before it spreads to another generation? You won't? That's okay, I didn't think you would.
Reason #3 - The other classes are jealous. Right now every underclassperson who is reading this is going "What do they have to be jealous about? They've got the hot dates, they've got the money, they've even got cars!" Well, I know that I envy you. You get to go though the whole exciting nerve racking experience of high school, and all I have to look forward to is, well, life. It's scary where I'm at. I don't exactly know where I'll be in a year or two, and there are some times where I wish I could go back to my sophomore year, when the biggest thing to worry about was my driving test (I barely passed).
Reason #4 - You all need to grow up. By this time there are only a few underclasspeople who understand that school is for learning and not for goofing off. Maturity is lacking in high school, for all classes, but especially for the sophomores and freshmen. You need to understand that they are people who are actually there to learn, and you need to show them the respect that you would want, and maybe, just maybe, they'll start respecting you. This has taken me 3 years to learn the seniors and juniors don't hate you, we don't like your lack of respect for a school that has, in a very short time, become our second home. So, grow up, and learn respect, and it will come back to you. I've heard this is also called the "boomerang of respect."
I probably missed the real reason; maybe there is no reason. All I know is that I got by my first year of high school, and if I can do it, anyone can. So, I'll see you all at school or as Webster's defines it: "a ship with two or more masts." Oh no, wait, that's schooner.
Every Halloween it happens. You open the door and standing on your porch -- bag out and ready -- is one pretty big kid. A kid heads and devil horns above the rest.
Last summer I took a real shinning to the movie-theater. Star Wars: Episode II had just come out, and because of money woes I was forced to wait for three weeks after the opening to go see it. I found my seat and watched as the action played out on the screen. Near the ending things were getting intense, I was on the edge of my seat when suddenly: BRIIIIIINNNNGG! Some guy's cell phone goes off. Annoyed I tried to concentrate on the movie but: BRIIIIIINNNNGG it went off again! Well, I've completely lost the excitement, and so I slouch down into my seat. Meanwhile, the cell phone guy has to nerve to ANSWER the phone and TALK to the person on the other line. Because of the fact that he was at a movie theater, the man had to talk really loud to allow the person on the other end (and everyone in the theater) hear his dramatic conversation on whether to have pancakes or waffles for breakfast tomorrow.
They lean up against the locker just before reaching his classroom and he turns to her.