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| April 14, 2002 ia a day that will forever hold mixed emotions for our family....a day when Elijah Daniel made his entrance into our world 12 hours after my only sibling and brother, Daniel Michael, made his tragic exit :( To sidetrack: my brother and I were VERY close and talked about everything with each other. He was a best freind to me and one of THE sweetest and most intelligent people you could ever meet. He woudl have been 25 this past May 28th. This picture of him to your left is the most recent I have and was taken last Christmas (about 6 months ago) at my house. Anyway....... My birth story starts with my brother. He had been trying to call me early Sunday morning starting around 1 AM. I had been awake with 2 rather "eye-opening" contractions. Don was still asleep but awoke when the phone rang. |
| We ignored it thinking it was a wrong number, especially when no message was left. I casually started keeping track of these contractions and they were about every 5 minutes and SO much different than the Braxton Hick's ones I had been having for the past 4 weeks. The phone rang another 2 times, and on the third ring, I urged Don to pick it up, as I thought it might be my brother. Sure enough, it was. To diverge again, Dan had been back home for 6 months and was living with my mom and dad, after having served 4 years in the army. The last year which was spent in South Korea. Since my mom was born there, she has family there and he got to know them pretty well while stationed there. Having returned home, he started college again and was getting straight A's and just doing very well overall. Returning to my story: I got the phone from Don and asked Dan what the matter was. He said nothing, he just wanted to hear my voice again. I could tell he had been drinking. When I tried to switch to the cordless, he had hung up on me. Ok, no big deal, I just called my parent's house back, thinking he would pick up right away. |
| At this point, my contractions were still 5 minutes apart and painful. My dad picked up, and thinking I had woken him up, apologized for it. He surprised me by saying, no, he had been up, along with my mom. When I asked to talk to Dan, he told me I didn't want to do that right now. I told my dad I was in labor and he sighed wearily. Still rather clueless about everything going on, I told my dad if Dan would like to talk to me, to please call me back. He said ok and told me to keep them informed. Started paying closer attention to my contractions which were now every 3-4 minutes, 45 seconds long and getting harder to cope with, but still manageable. Dan called me back around 3:30 AM. He kept saying how sorry he was to me, over and over again. and how it was too late. A very distinct chill started to creep up my spine as I wondered why he was talking like this. I realized what he was talking about and I simply lost it. I pleaded and begged for him to just come on over to my house, as Eli would be here soon. He said he couldn't. I lost it, and with tears streaming down my face and trying hard to maintain control over the pain of my contractions, I threw the phone to Don, simply unable to deal with the situation any longer. Don spoke with him briefly, and then Dan hung up on him. That was the last time I got to hear my brother's voice. My body seemed to shut down as I wondered what I was going to do. I knew I could not run to my parent's house (which I desperately wanted... I felt he NEEDED me) as I was in labor. I felt helpless. In sheer desperation, I started calling everyone I could think of (our Reverend, my boss, friends) asking for prayers for Dan. This was about 4 AM. |
| Finally, I called my midwife ,Pam, and told her of my contractions and of my brother's situation. She decided to make the 40 minute drive to our house Meanwhile, Don started to fill the birth pool with hot water and I tried to concentrate on trying to get things "ready"..though of course my mind was fried. Pam arrived around 5:30 AM....of course my contractions became irregular, ranging from 5 to 7 minutes apart and duration and intensity varied quite a bit. I was quite discouraged but grateful to have Pam there anyway for some much needed emotional support. Don continued filling the birth pool. Of course we ran out of hot water so he started boiling pots of water. 6 AM came and went, 7 AM..still no change in my contractions. Pam and I went for a walk outside just as the sun was rising, a bit after 7 AM. Don was talking on the phone, but with whom I did not know. He glanced at me and walked into another room and Pam ushered me out the door for our walk. It was a beautiful morning and the birds were chirping, it was so mild out. My neighbor Jen waved to me and gave me a thumbs up as she was getting the paper. I told her we may need her to watch Kira as my mom could not be there. Jen had no idea of the situation with Dan. My mind was still reeling with stress and worry as I had not heard anything from my parents OR Dan. I truly believe the stress and anxiety caused me to hang out in early labor for the 13 hours I ended up doing so. I grew so discouraged but Pam reassured me this is where I |