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| You weren't supposed to die... It all happened so suddenly- A choice made, your life lost I lay in a crumpled heap; bewildered...angry My heart ripped in two; my spirit shattered You weren't supposed to die... We had so much to do, so much to talk about Tents to sleep in, fish to catch, trails to hike, Dreams to discuss, fears to express, hurts to soothe Now all are merely hollow echoes in my mind You weren't supposed to die... Everyone loved you...your charming smile, Your caring and generous spirit, your focus on family The way you made people smile with your sense of humor- Your mind was sharp, your potential so great You weren't supposed to die... My anger slowly being replaced by sadness, My bewiderment by a deep longing to hug you, to hear your voice The enormous void I once harbored- Now being filled with the memories we shared: ...remember the 3 am fishing trips to castaic lake? the awe in our eyes when dad let us reel in that elusive rainbow trout. ...remember our first trip to korea? you were 4, I was 7- sticky white rice all over your face. your raggedy andy hanging from the clothesline? ...remember the chicken pox? sitting in front of the fan, our bodies covered in pink. oh how miserable we were. We laughed together, cried together- shared so much of our lives with each other. People were always amazed how close we were... These memories and countless more, will be cherished places for my mind to wander when my heart just hurts too much You weren't supposed to die... But I guess you really aren't gone When I smell the coming of spring, hear the patter of rain, Feel the warmth of a campfire, or see a setting sun- I will always be reminded of your prescence.... ....But especially when I gaze into the eyes of my son, your nephew- Born the day you died. You see, God is so good- he felt our hurt, cried with us, then delivered Elijah, not to erase our pain or diminish our loss, but to provide balance- joy to balance sorrow, new life to balance death, a blessing to balance a tragedy not in His control So I guess you really aren't gone- the way in which you are percevied by us has merely changed................ ...Oh, how I miss you. You just weren't supposed to die |