Fast O Masturbate
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Ok, if I can rule out as much porn as possible then I think that will work. I will have the desire to peruse women and possibly jump back into the relationship. I know that I am totally affraid of relationships and they are not what I need right now, but they are totally fun. So I'm trying to create enough incentive for me to just go for it anyway cause I totally love the feeling that beeing in a relationship gives me, and because its good cause it teaches you discipline. Of course I won't be able to escape all porn, the comercials on TV tell me what a woman is supposed to look like, but if I can disasociate the sex aspect of it I think that will be better.
I have decided to continue masturbating with the absence of porn. If you have any ideas, email them to me.
Sho's Fast o' Masterbation
Explanation: I have once again begun a new Fast o' Masterbation. This time, I am going to try to break my own personal record of 18 days and stay dry for a whole month. I am already in the middle of my fast as I write this as it is already Day 12. This second fast is somehow much easier for me and I find it easier to resist the tempation of wacking off. Perhaps it is because I am getting outside more, or that I have to concentrate on school work, or that I am listening to a lot more music. Maybe it is because there is a shortage of Catholic schoolgirl porn on the internet. Who knows, but it's much easier this time and hopefully, I will be able to resist spanking the monkey until July. And then there will be much more than just fireworks on Independence Day, baby.
-----
Day 12, June 12
Today, after my Spanish Final, I walked A----- home. I had actually asked her if she and her friend M----- wanted a ride home after the test, but she said that she wanted to walk because it was pretty nice outside. So then I asked if she minded if I walked with her and she seemed surprised and happy about the suggestion. Despite the fact it was a long walk, and that I'd have to walk all the way back to campus to get to my car, I was totally up for walking with this very cute girl. Ah, the things I do for hot chicks.
Anyway, we walked, talked, and I hung out at her place for awhile. I confirmed my suspicions that she already has a boyfriend, but it's interesting that she never told me the whole term that she was seeing someone until I finally asked her today. So I guess she's sorta seeing him, but their relationship is open enough that it would be okay for either of them to date other people. I find it to be an odd sort of relationship, but whatever makes her happy is great. So I'm getting this feeling that she's a semi-promiscuous girl who doesn't take romantic relationships very seriously. She seems to date guys for a short period of time, and then move on to another guy she might be interested in, all in a search for Mr. Perfect It also seems like she would only get serious with a guy if they seemed to want to get serious with her, and so far it doesn't seem like anyone of them has done that. Dumbasses. So, summing it up, her attitude towards relationships makes her companionship with me somewhat perplexing. I mean, is she interested in me, or not? And if she is, do I necessarily want to be with a girl who may or may not be faithful to me just because she seems to be on a constant quest to find the "right" guy?
The thing that bothers me and a friend of mine is that to find the right sort of guy, you would probably have to see that someone for a certain amount of time. You can't really "know" a person if you only date them for a month or so. You'd have to get over some of their differences or flaws in order to find that special thing about them that could make them so wonderful to be with.
I don't think I'm going to dwell on this though, and A----- and I still have plans to get together sometime next week so maybe more things will come to light. After hanging out with her and possibly making a good impression after meeting one of her roommates, I decided to take my leave and head back to campus. Lucky for me, I saw a friend of mine in his car and he gave me a ride back to campus. He also recently gave me advice on how I should deal with A-----: Basically, I should just have fun being with her and not worry about what will happen between the two of us. And today, that's what I basically did, something that I would probably not do if I wasn't on my FoM. I gave her some light touches on her arm when I wanted to get her attention while studying before the test, and I also sat sort of close to her on her couch at her place (you know the kind of close where it's almost an invasion of someone's personal space, but she didn't seem to mind at all). I mean really, I don't usually do this sorta stuff so I can give some credit to my FoM.
So yeah, I'm not going to worry about it. Don't dwell on the past, plan but don't worry on the future. For now, I'm just focusing on all the moments.
-Sho
Winning The War On Masturbation
Archived Masturbation Projects
Day 11
