WHITE COLLAR DOG

It was a happy fire station,
Our Dalmatian had been promoted.
Exceeding every expectation,
From ear to ear that hound dog gloated.

For Gus had just made Captain
Of Airport Rescue Squad,
And even beat out Preston,
Who’d applied for that same job.


He took a bath and brushed his teeth,
And packed his lunch box full of bones,
Then waved good-bye to Firehouse 3,
And headed out all on his own.

He caught the Metro Red Express,
And got to work right on the dot.
The employees paused in awe perplexed
By their brand new boss with big black spots.


He checked in with security
For a paw print scan and photo badge.
And then he got his brand new uniform,
It was sharp and starched, of style unmatched.

He staged a drill on Runway 6,
And found a missing girl in Terminal A.
Then on an inbound flight a man was sick,
So he dispatched the medics to the gate.


And as he headed for his desk,
There came an awful anxious feeling.
A job most gruesome and grotesque ---
Paperwork piled up to the ceiling!

At 10:04 there came a roar,
So Gus got up to grab a snack.
He cracked his Lassie lunch box door,
And hit the ground when out popped Max!


That Beagle breezed right out the door,
Resolved to rise up from obscurity,
And headed for the Canine Corps
Of Homeland Safety and Security.

He asked the Bloodhounds with the badges,
“Do you think that I could help?”
Then as he donned his small green jacket,
They said, “Please load these boxes on the belt.


Then you run them through this meter,
It’s our high-tech Sniffer X-5000,
And if you hear the bells and beepers,
It means the box has got a problem.

Take it to the Labs before it’s opened,
They’ll scan for napalm, guns, and bombs.
Then look inside for plants and produce,
And other things that don’t belong.”


Max ran a load of boxes,
And sent them on their way.
The plane was bound for Austin,
Continuing to L.A.

But that hound had gotten nervous,
He felt that something wasn’t right.
“I think that Sniffer needs some service,
And we’ve got to stop that flight.”


So he raced off down the runway,
But not in time to stop the danger.
Then he declared a Code Red Mayday,
And wired a warning to the Rangers.

The tower called the pilot,
To warn him of his funny freight.
Then he banked north around the island,
And promptly pulled back to the gate.


“That machine is surely broke,”
As Max circled ‘round and ’round that box,
“I can smell it with my nose,”
He told his superior with the spots.

Gus grabbed the crate that Max had spied,
And carefully placed it on the ground,
Then popped the top to look inside,
And this is what he found:


Atomic Red Hot Bon-Bons,
And some Bazooka Bubble Gum.
Gel candy from a Date Palm,
Why, it was a confection shipping trunk!

… They’ll scan for napalm, guns, and bombs …
… And other things that don’t belong …

“Max, you’ve got a keen, uncanny nose,
And a super sense of smell,
But Heaven only knows,
You need to learn to spell!”


As I woke up from my dream,
I took a look inside my box,
Where the fruit was most unclean,
Because my life is badly botched.

But when God inspects my box,
He only sees the very truth ---
That His Son died on the cross,
To make me spotless, whole, and new.


David J Allen
April 16, 2006


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