GOLDI-SPOTS

It was a flavor-filled fire station,
Chief was baking brownies blonde.
Then he summoned our Dalmatian,
“Please take these cookies to my mom.

She’s moved in by the market,
Those brand new condos down the street,
Behind our old department ---
She’s unit 103.”


So they set out on their mission
To give that gal some snacks,
That mottled young Dalmatian
And Little Red Robin Hood Max.

They strolled through Sherwood Forest
(that is, they swung by Sunny Pines Park),
Where a wolf jumped out before them
From the shadows of the dark.


They cloaked themselves with camo,
And that wolf they finally lost.
Then they scrambled off to Grandma’s
And hid inside her loft.

Max roamed through all the rooms,
Including three baths and a half.
Then he said to Grandma June,
“What a big condo you have!”


Gus said, “It’s a custom builder special,
And it’s really quite impressive.
These things are sure expensive ---
She must have made some good investments.”

“Would you boys like some food?
There’s a deli ’cross the street.
I hear it’s really good ---
We could grab a bite to eat.”


The waiter took their order,
Gus got Combos 4 and 9.
Max tried the special South of Border,
“And Grandma?” “Sweet and Sour Swordfish suits me fine.”

The seagulls swarmed their table,
It was a fierce fight for their fries,
When remarked that beak-bashed Beagle,
“We’d better eat inside.”


As he browsed the big buffet,
Gus eyed a peanut pie,
But the wolf got in his way
And rudely cut in line.

He snagged the final slice,
Then took off for their table,
Where he pushed poor Max aside
And snatched his berry bagel.


Max whacked him in the buns,
Then he nailed him with his fruit,
And as the wolf prepared to run,
He soaked him with some soup.

Then he tripped him with a taco,
And he fell and lost his footing.
Next he nuked him with his nachos
And pounded him with pudding.


Max sacrificed his sandwich,
And he pummeled him with pepper.
He shattered several glasses,
And then he lost his temper.

By the time the wolf escaped,
That restaurant was a wreck.
Gus prepared to pay,
But Grandma got the check.


With a doggy bag for Max,
They headed back across the street,
And when they got to Grandma’s pad,
“Would you boys like some treats?”

Gus said, “This cookie’s way too crumbly,
And this one’s much too soft.
But these with walnuts turned out wonderfully ---
They really hit the spot!”


Then Gus began to yawn
And could hardly hold his head.
So he lay his body down
And took a nap on Grandma’s bed.

Nana heard him snore ---
“What’s that funny sound?”
And then upon her door
There came a pound pound pound.


“Let me in! Let me in!
And at once this door unlock!”
With a grin on their chin,
“Not by our spots or our mottled blotched dots!”

The wolf kept puffing harder,
But the bricks were much too thick,
When came a hurricane from the harbor,
And that house began to lift.


They rose through rain, they rose through clouds,
And sonic boomed in skies azul.
Gus looked down upon the ground,
“Why Max! There’s our station and your school!”

They sailed across the southern sky
And watched the land drift by beneath.
Then a heck of a dive, and the end of their ride,
When from under the house poked some fancy-shoed feet.


Gus was black and white,
Until he stepped out on the porch.
Then the wolf took off in fright,
When his spots turned pink and green and orange.

He hijacked Grandma’s cycle,
And to the town of green he rolled.
But those dogs were right behind him
In pursuit down the yellow brick road.


The Munchkins had him captured,
But he escaped by the skin of his paws.
Then he hopped up in a basket
And sailed away with the Wizard of Oz.

He thought he’d finally lost them,
But those dogs were keeping pace,
For Grandma’d found a rocket,
And they chased him into space.


Their hounding was relentless,
It went on through frightening heights.
Then they caught that wolf near Memphis
And locked him in their sights.

Then, a great tragedy,
As the Hindenburg burst into flames.
“Oh! The humanity!”
Yet the wolf walked away merely dazed.


They chased him ’cross the Atlantic
And throughout the seven seas,
Then ’round and ’round the planet,
Amongst the isles and straits and streams.

They had that hoodlum captured,
But he was rescued by a shark.
Then he joined his brother Blackbeard
And torpedoed Noah’s ark.


Then Tora! Tora! Tora!
As those dogs returned the favor.
And as Grandma manned the mortar,
She shelled and sank that sailor.

They thought that wolf had perished,
But then he caught his second wind,
As he joined the Army Air Corps
And set out on silver wings.


He flew a fleet of Flying Fortresses,
But then he crashed into a castle,
When came a major metamorphosis,
As the wolf became a dragon.

“Drop your drawbridge, dragon!
Your breath could stop a train!”
And with his tiny tail a-waggin’,
Max extinguished out his flame.


Then that wolf became an ape
And terrorized the Apple,
Where he climbed the Empire State
And made a mess of all Manhattan.

Max hopped up in a copter
To catch that monster by surprise,
But the ape reached out and bopped him,
And he tumbled through the sky.


The crowd looked on dismayed,
For they thought that all was lost,
When Captain K-9 saved the day,
In his cape with big black spots.

He snatched Max from his free-fall,
And he gave that ape a look,
“That’s no way to treat a Beagle,”
As he slugged him with a hook.


That primate’s pink nose puffed,
And his brow began to bulge.
Then from sixty stories up
He fell and slammed his skull.

The cops cordoned off the crater,
As the Dotted Duo reached the scene.
And as they examined the invader,
“I think his crown’s been cracked in three.”


“Or perhaps he’s got a virus,
Or an awful funny sickness.”
Then the screaming sound of sirens
As they rushed him to the clinic.

The room was filled with silence,
As the doctor shook and shrugged,
“I’ll likely lose my license,”
And she pulled out all the plugs.


Sing a song of six pence,
A pocket full of rye,
Grandma grabbed her apron,
And put King Kong into a pie.

When the pie was opened,
“Would you boys like a slice?”
Then they heard the sound of opera,
As Grandma’s cell phone came to life.


“Boys, I have to host a party
For some orphan boys and girls.”
Then she hopped up on her Harley
And headed off to church.

As they walked back to the station,
Max said, “Chief won’t believe the things that happened!”
When grinned that young Dalmatian,
“What goes on Grandma’s, stays at Grandma’s!”


David J Allen
July 22, 2007


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