Topic 3: Krissie's Fashion Hit List
Ok - this is something I've wanted to address for a while. Now, I'm no fashion expert, but I do have a solid opinion about what I think is and isn't fashionable. The following is a list of big fashion DON'TS in my mind. I've broken it up into women's and men's fashions, though some of the fashions may fall into both categories. I realize that I've got much more to say about women's fashions than men's, but I think that's because 1) men's fashions are much more simple, and 2) women make more bad fashion choices. Anyway, enjoy!
Women:
1. Layered skirts: These terribly ugly 80's style skirts are usually tight-fitting at the waist and have some kind of frilly or lacy bottom. They are also quite short, making it impossible not to look like a skank. Even if you are skinny or have nice legs, these skirts look bad... on everyone.
2. Horizontal stripes: Now we all know that vertical stripes give the illusion of length, which is a plus if you want to look taller. But horizontal stripes do just the opposite - they add width. No one should wear them below the waist. The skirts described in #1 often have this pattern, making them even uglier.
3. Ugg boots: These "after ski" boots are designed to be worn in the snow... after skiing. However, for some reason women have decided that wearing them in non-snowy weather is cool. What's even cooler is wearing them with a short skirt, completely defeating the purpose of keeping yourself warm. To me, those people look ridiculous.
4. "Cute"/"Naughty"/"Bitch"/"Princess"/"Rock Star"/"Goddess"/"Angel" etc. T-shirts: I have only one thing to say about these shirts... unless you fit the description of what's written on your shirt (which should never be the case for "Goddess" or "Angel"), don't wear them. Try something that's more truthful... like "Dumbass."
5. Porn star lipstick: This is that silvery pinkish lipstick that some women wear and think it's hot. Those women are wrong. You look like you just stepped off the set of an extremely trashy, low-budget porn film, and nothing more.
6. Trucker hats: I don't have a problem with these hats on guys, but for some reason girls always look terrible in them. Probably because they try to make their hair all pretty, but then stick one of these stupid hats on, and completely ruin any chance they had of looking decent.
7. "F*ck me" boots: I wasn't going to include this on the list (since some people look good in these), but I've seen way too many women with fat/ghostly-white/unshapely legs slap on a pair of these, and it just looks bad. Furthermore, they only look bad when accompanied by a skirt that's too short, which just adds to the problem.
Men:
1. "Faded look" jeans: These jeans are popular with women, which I don't have a huge problem with (I have a pair with a slight fade), but men who wear them just look gay. Especially bad are the ones with the brownish-gold fade pattern, which look bad on both men and women.
2. Tight, shiny clubber shirts: I don't know who told guys with good upper bodies that it's sexy to wear these shirts. I mean, if you're proud of your body, that's one thing. But is it really necessary to wear sequins and bright colors to show it off? Did it ever occur to you that people might think you're gay?
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