It was April, 2002 when Vitali was visiting his mom for the weekend. She called on Monday night and said he wanted to stay over another day. The next led to the next and twoweeks later, he was still with her. I was pleased that he seemed to be making a decision to return to his mother. I was sad to lose him but happy for him, too. I started back on my adoption path and had gotten a week or so into it, making calls, reconnecting with my foreign contacts, etc. when the call came to me on a Friday evening. Vitali was out of control and Helen aked if I could come a get him for a few days. I didn't hesitate. She sounded desperate. Vitali was busting up the dining room furniture! When I got there, he was the usual scared little kid that I'd known to hide inside that exterior of cocky bravado. Several days later, in the therapist's office, Vitali was asked point-blank where he wanted to live. He hemmed and hawed for a bit and finally, after about 30 minutes, said he wanted to live with me. But he didn't want to hurt Helen's feelings or make her sad. The therapist told him to ask Helen how she would feel about this decision and she replied that she wouldn't be hurt or sad by his decision. She explained that she only wanted him to be happy living whereever he needed to be. Afterwards, she said she expected to be weepy about this but the sense of relief as the burden lifted from her shoulders was overpowering. As difficult as it was to make this decision, she knew in her heart it was the right one. Now, my plans were 180 degrees from where they started over a year before! Helen said she would consent to me adopting Vitali. No more looking at tapes or trips to foreign countries. My son was already living with me! We were already speeding down the runway heading for a takeoff!
Jayne's last words to me included her regret that she wouldn't meet my child. Little did she know she'd already met him!
Shortly after Jayne's passing, Helen was having a great deal of trouble caring for her two balls of fire. She was so courageous and strong to last as long as she did but the simple truth is that caring for two boys, 9 and 10, is enough for two people but for a single woman to juggle job, home, and two boys was getting to be too much. The older boy was clearly exhibiting symptoms of ODD, RAD, and PTSD. She was in over her head and the walls, doors, and mental health of the family were in serious danger. I volunteered to help and Vitali came to live with me shortly after Thanksgiving 2001. Come Christmas and New Years, he was still with me. We spent the holiday in Key West. It was our first chance to see how we'd got along when there's just to two of us. No problem... after the police brought him back to the condo after he'd run off, we didn't have much trouble at all. I had some serious second thoughts about this living arrangement but also realized that Vitali needed a permanent home and a consistent family. Either he would have to return to Helen's or I would adopt him. However, I didn't think this was the time to push this subject. I mentioned it to Helen and
