This one draws mostly from King Lear, Timon of Athens, a hint of Coriolanus, and a snatch from Hamlet. I may have gone a bit overboard by including the entirety of Timon's rant, from which a whole two lines were used in the cartoon, but the speech is so wonderfully misanthropic that I felt like sharing the entire thing.

1. TIMON: O blessed breeding sun, draw from the earth
Rotten humidity; below thy sister’s orb
Infect the air! Twinned brothers of one womb,
Whose procreation, residence, and birth
Scarce is dividant, touch them with several fortunes,
The greater scorns the lesser. Not nature,
To whom all sores lay siege, can bear great fortune
But by contempt of nature.
Raise me this beggar, and deny’t that lord;
The senator shall bear contempt hereditary,
The beggar native honor.
It is the pasture lards the brother’s sides,
The want that makes him lean. Who dares, who dares
In purity of manhood stand upright
And say “This man’s a flatterer”? If one be,
So are they all, for every grece of fortune
Is smoothed by that below. The learnéd pate
Ducks to the golden fool. All’s obliquy;
There’s nothing level in our curséd natures
But direct villainy. Therefore, be abhorred
All feasts, societies, and throngs of men!
His semblable, yea, himself, Timon disdains.
Destruction fang mankind! Earth, yield me roots!
(Timon, IV.iii, 23)

2. EDGAR: How fearful
And dizzy ‘tis to cast one’s eyes so low!
The crows and choughs that wing the midwar air
Show scarce so gross as beetles. Halfway down
Hangs one that gathers sampire, dreadful trade!
Methinks he seems no bigger than his head. (11-15, 15-16)
The fisherman that walk upon the beach
Appear like mice; and yond tall anchoring bark
Diminished to her cock; her cock, a buoy
Almost too small for sight. The murmuring surge
That on th’ unnumb’red idle pebble chafes
Cannot be heard so high. I’ll look no more,
Lest my brain turn and the deficient sight
Topple down headlong.
GLOUCESTER: Set me where you stand.
EDGAR: Give me your hand: you are now within a foot
Of th’ extreme verge: for all beneath the moon
Would I not leap upright;
GLOUCESTER: Let go my hand.
Here, friend, ‘s another purse; in it a jewel
Well worth a poor man’s taking. Fairies and gods
Prosper it with thee! Go thou further off;
Bid me farewell, and let me hear thee going.
4. EDGAR: Now fare ye well, good sir.
GLOUCESTER: With all my heart.
EDGAR: [aside] Why I do trifle thus with his despair
Is done to cure it.
5. GLOUCESTER: O, you mighty gods! [he jumps]
(IV.vi, 34)

TIMON: Who seeks for better of thee, sauce his palate
With thy most operant poison! [he finds gold] What is here?
Gold? Yellow, glittering, precious gold?
No gods, I am no idle votarist.
Roots, you clear heavens!
(Timon, IV.iii 28)

6. (no text)

7. AUFIDIUS: I know thee not. Thy name?
CORIOLANUS: My name is Caius Marcius, who hath done
To thee particularly and to all the Volsces
Great hurt and mischief; thereto witness may
My surname, Coriolanus.
(Coriolanus, IV.v, 69-70)

LEAR: Dost thou know me, fellow?
KENT: No sir, but you would have that in your countenance which I would fain call master.
LEAR: What’s that?
KENT: Authority.
LEAR: What services canst thou do?
KENT: I can keep honest council, ride, run, mar a curious tale in telling it, and deliver a plain message bluntly. That which ordinary men are fit for, I am qualified in, and the best of me is diligence.
(Lear, I.iv, 31-35)

CORIOLANUS: The painful service,
The extreme dangers, and the drops of blood
Shed for my thankless country are requited
But with that surname—a good memory,
And witness of the malice and displeasure
Which thou shouldst bear me.
(Coriolanus, IV.v, 78)

8. HAMLET: Not a whit, we defy augery. There is a special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, ‘tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come. The readiness is all. Since no man of aught he leaves knows, what is’t to leave betimes? Let be.
(Hamlet, V.ii, 220-221)