�Come over here,� she said, �and look out the window.�
I made my way out from under the heavy doona and went to stand beside her, wondering what had caught her interest.
�Umm�� I ventured tentatively, bemused by the apparent lack of excitement outside my window. �What exactly am I looking at?�
�Life!� She was excited. �It�s out there, not waiting for us, we have to grab it! Reach out and put ourselves in it!�
Still befuddled, I began to describe the view outside my window. �I see some trees, and a couple of kids on bikes. I guess that is life, but why would I want to put myself in it?� I guess I had expected her to be disappointed in my inability to see what enlivened her beautiful green eyes, but the excitement in them didn�t dim.
I should have seen her mind working; after all it never stopped, detaining the world while she mentally dissected each piece, to see how it worked before tossing it all back in and moving onto the next excitement with a beautiful smile.
But all I saw were beautiful green eyes, and all I heard were words I didn�t quite comprehend.
�Come out with me! Let�s go live!� All her sentences seemed to end in exclamation marks in my mind.
I watched her wind a bright pink scarf around her neck, as she got ready to lead me into life. She sees my furrowed brow and senses my reluctance.
�I might go back to bed for a little while. I�ll join you in the park if you aren�t back when I wake up, okay?� I smiled at her shrug, noting her grace in every movement, caught in her beauty for the hundredth time since we met. She scribbles something on a piece of paper before winking at me and walking out the door of my apartment.
She had not returned when I woke. I looked out her window, marveling at the thought in my mind, that a single comment from her has made the window hers. Looking out I saw her talking to a group of children, the original three or four riding bikes has swelled to eight. They appear spell bound by her presence.
She noticed me in the window and beckoned me to join her. The simple gesture brought back to my mind our first meeting, only four days previously but already a lifetime appeared to have passed and I couldn�t imagine her not being there to wake me with ideas.
That simple hand gesture drew me to her on my way to work. She was handing out flowers in front of my building and, catching my eye, she beckoned me to approach and get my flower. I felt an urge to go to her but politely shook my head and continued walking. Looking forward I was surprised when I felt my hand detained, held, and a flower stem pressed into it. She grinned at me.
�Have the most amazing day,� she greets me, �I am.�
I smile and thank her but am held back from walking away by her arresting green eyes and mischievous grin. With difficulty, I break the contact and continue into the building. I lay the flower on my desk and head into a meeting, late, but smiling.
She was still there at lunchtime and I approached her warily, unused to breaking my daily routine. She must be at least 24, but she sticks her tongue out and waggles it at me as I draw nearer. For me to return, she knows she has touched me and it pleases her inordinately.
�Why hello again,� she almost purrs at me. I smile in spite of myself and she steps into my perfectly ordered little life.
I took her to lunch and she took me into her world of laughter, smiles and excitement, all brought on by life. It was hours before I withdrew from her eyes enough to notice the rest of her face. She was conventionally beautiful, the eyes a little too far apart, everything generously proportioned, but her whole body seemed to glow with an inner energy that was irresistible.
I listened to her for what felt like forever, but only minutes, eternity pressed into 3 glorious hours, but I managed to remain reticent about my personal life, in spite of her best efforts to draw me out. She was a vegetarian, but didn�t bat an eyelid, or raise an eyebrow, when I ordered a hamburger. In spite of her lack of formal education, she knew so much about educational systems, environmental issues, political upheavals, everything! She took my breath away with her travel stories as she took my underwear away with her teeth later that night.
I was always content to lie silently and be held after sex, but we went ice-skating when she informed me that the commandment against slothfulness was her personal favorite, in spite of her mistrust in organized religion.
And 3 days later, here we were. I don�t know why I trusted her instinctively, but I left her in the apartment each day while I went to work, although I know she didn�t stay while I was gone. She collected people each day and I found myself hosting dinners of mixed takeout food and gourmet savories she prepared in my kitchen at once to people I would never have dreamed of speaking to. A lot of her guests, they were never mine, seemed as surprised to be there as I was to have them there.
As I looked out her window, I thought about all this. This morning was the first time I had said no in 4 days, my sleep was important to me and I had not had my full 8 hours in days. She only seemed to need 3 or 4.
Still tired, I turned away from her window and sat on the couch to finish some work I had brought home. Half an hour had passed and I encountered a note from her in my papers.
don�t be afraid of change
and never pass a window without looking
you will always be surprised
all my love�
I knew with certainty she would be gone when I got to the window and my heart hurt even as my rational brain rejoiced in solitude.
