A social problem arises in a dog’s family pack when he fails to understand his place in the “pecking order” (see definitions). This misunderstanding develops from the dog’s innate comprehension of canine social behavior. A gesture that we as humans may perceive as “nice” or “generous” may come across to the dog as a gesture of reverence and servitude. A normal, healthy dog will not make waves in his family pack unless he either perceives devastating weakness in the members above him or receives signals that those members wish him to climb the social ladder. A large number of dog owners send their dogs the latter without ever meaning to. The dog nudges a hand when he wants petting, and he gets petting. The dog barks to be let out in the yard, and he is let out. The dog jumps for his dinner, and he is given dinner. It’s easy to see a trend.

There’s an old joke about the difference between dogs and cats. The dog says, “These people feed me, house me, and play with me. They must be gods!” And the cat says, “These people feed me, house me, and play with me. I must be a god!” Even the best behaved dog can’t help but lean toward the cat’s idea when he’s given clear evidence, over and over, that his family will get him what he wants when he wants it. In his mind, his pack is demonstrating their willingness to submit to his leadership. And any dog who loves his family would lead them when asked to do so.

Our dogs rely on us to keep them safe in a human world. If we let them be in charge, they would probably gleefully tear down our society in about a week. Dogs have to live in our world - not the other way around - so it is necessary and desirable to have them look to us for leadership. For their safety and our own, and for everyone’s happiness, we need to show our dogs that we are competent, confident leaders worthy of their respect.


Resource control

I am constantly amazed at how demanding some folks’ dogs are when it comes to getting what they want. They can be like a petulant two-year-old, except with a mouth full of knives. Watch your dog for a day, and see how often he demands and how often you comply. Wait a minute! Who is the pet here?

Dogs demand for the same reason as children: because sometimes it works! (Except most people think to teach their child to say “please” when they want something. I would venture to say there is an epidemic of impolite dogs in the world; dogs who have no idea how to say “please”.) When a child gets what he wants all the time, he can get spoiled rotten. The same principle applies to dogs. If your dog has come to expect compliance from you, you’ve got a problem. You will have much more and bigger problems if you don’t teach him some manners.

One way to establish a desirable social order in your family pack is to demonstrate to your dog that all good things come to him through you. Until Rex gets a job and starts paying the grocery bill, he owes his happy lifestyle to you and the rest of the family pack. All of the privileges he enjoys, like walks, affection, treats, and play time are resources that you control. As of this moment, they are no longer his for the taking. Demonstrating your control of these resources will solidify your leadership in the family pack and allow your dog to find his place in the social order.

Resource control is a simple exercise. It doesn’t take a lot of time out of your day, but it does require the participation of the whole family. Make sure everyone understands what they’re doing and why before you start the exercise. Otherwise you will only confuse your dog and make the problem worse.

Establish some rules. The dog gets dinner only when he’s sitting politely until the bowl is on the floor. He only gets to go for walks when he sits to have his leash hooked and again when you open the door. He only gets to play fetch if he drops the ball nicely in front of you then goes into a down. If he’s allowed on the bed, he only gets to come up after a nice “roll over”. This is like insisting he says “please” before you give him what he wants. You will need to vary your definition of a doggy “please” depending on your dog’s abilities and current understanding of basic obedience. But from now on, he gets nothing fun without asking politely first. Everything is going to be on your terms.

Remember that your attention is a powerful reward. If your dog is doing something you don’t like, withdraw your attention. Don’t talk to him, yell at him, touch him, or look at him. If he does something you like, reward him with a brief pet or “good dog!” and then walk away. Leave him wanting more! He’ll start thinking of ways to be really good and get that pat on the head.


Demands and extinction bursts

Food and affection are usually excellent resources for you to control. If your dog is spinning and pawing you as you fill his bowl, turn around and ask him just once to “sit” (or your equivalent “please”). If he doesn’t do it, put the bowl in a cabinet and leave the kitchen. Come back and try again in five minutes. Most dogs will have that rear on the floor faster than you can ask for it if they honestly believe their dinner is at stake. If he is bumping your hand to get a pet on the head, get a “please”, give a brief pat, and go back to what you were doing. If he gets pushy, ignore him completely or walk away. Pretend there’s no dog there at all. You can feel free to demand attention from him any time you like. Just make certain it’s on your terms. Make sure he knows that although he is a loved and valued member of the family pack, he does not get to dictate the house rules.

If a mother buys her child a candy bar every time he throws a fit at the store, he will throw a lot of fits. If mom suddenly wised up and didn’t buy the candy bar, the child might scream louder and louder to get his treat. If she continued to ignore him, he would eventually stop. But if, as he got louder, mom decided to get him the treat just to get him out of the store, he would learn that if he screams loud enough and long enough, he will eventually get what he wants.

A dog who is used to having his demands met will be confused when they are not. He may make a real pill of himself pawing, barking, whining, or otherwise insisting on your compliance. This last attempt at getting what he wants is an extinction burst. After that, if it still doesn’t work, the dog will realize he’s wasting his energy and stop. But if you or a family member gives in to your dog’s demands during an extinction burst, you’ve just made your job ten times harder. Your dog will continue to demand because it just might work. So stick to your guns.

In general, you should notice a positive difference in your dog’s behavior in one to two weeks. You can start slowly returning your dog’s privileges after four or five weeks, but keep asking for that puppy “please”.


Your responsibilities

As mentioned before, everyone in the house needs to understand and practice resource control or it won’t work. It’s your job to make sure someone in the house is not tossing the dog popcorn while you’re at work. You also need to be sure that your dog receives all the things he needs while you’re practicing resource control, including food, fresh water, shelter, health care, and companionship. These are things your dog has a right to receive.

If you have more than one dog, it’s important to start resource control with all of them at the same time. If you don’t you could cause some major social strife within their group.


Conclusion

Yes, resource control can be difficult for the humans involved. I’ll be the first person to admit that I could spoil and snuggle a dog all day long. But it’s important to remember that it won’t hurt your dog’s feelings. This entire practice operates under rules that are innate to your dog. He will be much calmer and happier once he understands his place in the family, and you will be proud to have a polite dog that has better manners than most people’s children.