(Chorus)
Smelly cat, smelly cat
What are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat
It's not your fault

They won't take you to the vet
You're obviously not their favorite pet
You may not be a bed of roses
And you're no friend to those with noses

**New York Blackout**

New York City has no power
And the milk is getting sour
But to me that is not scary
Cause I stay away from dairy
La la la la la la...

**Bi-Sexuals**

Sometimes men love women
And sometimes men love men
And then there are bi-sexuals
Though some just say they're kidding themselves
La la la la la la la la la la...

**Barnyard Animals**

Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up
And that's how we get hamburgers
Nowwwwwwww chickens!

**Getting Older**

There'll be times when you get older
When you'll want to sleep with people
Just to make them like you
But Don't, because
That's another thing that you don't wanna do
That's another thing that you don't wanna do

**Little Babies**

They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch
But soon they'll grow up and resent you so much
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why
You cry and you cry and you cry

**They Kissed last night**

There was a girl, we'll call her Betty
And a guy, let's call him Neil
Now, I can't stress this point too strongly
This story isn't real...
Now our Neil must decide
Who will be the girl that he casts aside?
Will Betty be the one who he loves truly
Or will it be the one who we'll call L-L-Lulie?
He must decide, he must decide
Even though I made him up, he must decide

**Eyes of Coal**

I made a man with eyes of coal
And a smile so bewitchin'
How was I supposed to know
That my mom was dead in the kitchen
La la la la la la la la la la...

**Grandparents**

Now grandma's a person who everyone likes
She bought you a train and a bright shiny bike
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner
And last time you saw her, she looked so much thinner
Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru
But the truth is she died, and someday you will too
La la la la la la la la la la...