WhatsUp18

Monday February 17, 2003 -- 7:30pm
You know, I feel a little guilty about this latest blizzard. I mean, it seems selfish of us to have all of this snow when there are children in other parts of the world who have never had a snow day, adults who have never sat helpless while their cars slid into 5 foot snowbanks. No one should be denied the pure joy of frantically undressing in the hallway, expecting the neighbors to peek out at any moment. Everyone should be able to shovel the same driveway over, and over, and over. We're being greedy, and I, for one, think it's disgusting!

We're up to 8 inches tonight. Ugh.

Sunday February 16, 2003 -- 7:45pm
For those of you that knew him, Pepper died today at the ripe old age of 19 years.

Saturday February 15, 2003 -- 11:15am
"Rubber Duckie, you're my very best friend. It's true." - Ernie

I think that's kind of sad! It's sad that Ernie considered a rubber duck to be his very best friend! And how must poor Bert have felt, knowing that he had been out-ranked by a plastic bath toy?!? It's sad!

(By the way, next time I wonder aloud why most guys don't seem interested in me, will someone please remind me of this entry?)

Wednesday February 12, 2003 -- 7:15pm
Whoa. Wednesday? When did that happen?

So I think I broke my ass last night. I accidentally sat down, hard, on the corner of the coffee table and things have been somewhat amiss ever since. It actually kept me awake last night. Ouch.

I am having walnuts for dinner, because it is the only thing in the house that doesn't involve cooking. Or bread. We have no bread. I don't think I was always this lazy, but I'm not sure. Anyhow, walnuts are good for me. Protein, you know. (I'm not sure the 5g of protein per serving really compensates for the 30g of fat, but I also don't really care!)

So...February. My very least favorite month of the year. And good old Inadequacy Day is right around the corner. I plan to spend the evening doing some very romantic laundry. Yippitty-skippitty!

I'd share a funny work antic, but I actually failed to go to work since my last entry until today, and today wasn't very funny. Something good happened though! One of my former kids, whom I very much wished would come back, is coming back! She's in some GED/volunteerism program and will be working with Jake, which is awesome.

Saturday February 8, 2003 -- 9:25pm
I thought I had better write something, in case people were starting to wonder if I'd done something rash. I guess it's been a kind of intense few days. I don't think I've ever been this stressed out in my life. Not even that time that I blitzed my 45 page unit plan 30 minutes before it was due.

However, I alleviated some of my stress by finding an apartment. I guess you could consider this somewhat rash, as it was the only place I looked at. Hey. I liked it, the location is great, the land lady seemed sane, and the price is decent. So I took it. It lifts a huge weight from my shoulders. It's small, but I think it'll be fine, and I really like the location. I'll be moving in around March 1st.

The stupidest thing to happen since last I wrote was when I walked all the way to the bottom of The Approach (massive, terrible, ice-covered staircase that connects Troy to RPI) to go to my car and then realized that I hadn't parked down there. Duh.

The second stupidest thing of the week was the movie I just saw. "Old School," starring assorted SNL people. It was stupid in that good way though. I recommend it - as long as you not seeking intellectual stimulation or unexpected twists of any kind.

On the way home, Cousin Dan gave me power of attorney to shoot him if he ever moves to Clifton Park and has to mow the lawn every three days.

Wednesday February 4, 2003 -- 6:50pm
I had a lovely weekend with Alyce. We spent a lot of money, including drinking up quite a bit of it at Serrao's on Saturday night. And we took my car to the car wash! You'd never know it now, but it was all nice and shiny on Saturday!

A few bizarre museum items today. First of all, Jake's car mysteriously removed itself from its parking spot and rolled itself to the back of the parking lot. Luckily there are still enormous piles of snow everywhere, and so we did not have to fish his car out of the County Office Building.

Then, just as we were about to sit down for a Management Meeting, a group of nursery school children was discovered sitting in the lobby, in the dark. We don't know how they got in, but they were waiting very patiently for their 10:00 program. Where was the person who was supposed to teach this program? No one knew. Later I found out that her son had gotten a concussion at school, which made me very glad I left a fairly pleasant Where-the-Hell-Are-You message on her machine.

Finally, the director really outdid himself today. Late yesterday he sent out an email containing the proposed content of our next newspaper ad. This morning somone replied to it saying it contained way too much information for our small spot in the paper. The director replied promptly saying, "I've not seen it."

He sent it! How could he not have seen it?!? Jeesh.

A fair amount of bad news today, but I am trying to pretend I didn't hear any of it.

Good News: I have an apartment to look at on Thursday that sounds promising. And I am getting a freeee computer on Friday! Yee-haw!

Thursday January 30, 2003 -- 6:50pm
Oh! Some good news! (1) The camera came today! I am going to go play with it as soon as I'm done here. (2) I am getting a computer!!! I can't tell you how. It's a secret. But this solves the problem of what to do with the camera after I move.

-- 6:40pm
"Ah, yes, there was a future in the insane asylum. No winter spent there could be a total loss." - Richard Brautigan, from Trout Fishing in America

Happy Birthday to Richard Brautigan, who would have been 67 today, had he not offed himself in 1984. It scares me a little that someone would still kill himself at age 48. Aren't you supposed to have it all straightened out by then? I mean, if you made it that far?

On a related subject, it is very alarming to me how amazingly well the anti-anxiety pills work. I really resisted taking one today, feeling that I ought to be able to get a grip on my own. I finally caved when I realized I was spending an inordinate amount of time with my head on my desk, being non-functional. 30 minutes later, I am a normal person. Scary.

A lot of people seemed to have a bad day today. Jake seemed depressed, Heidi had a complete meltdown, and Mikie electrocuted the planetarium. She touched one of the pieces of equipment, got a shock, and we had to shut the whole thing down - as in turn off every single piece of equipment invovled, not just exiting the program - and fire it all up again before we could get it working.

And last night I dreamed that some rowdy children put a porcupine in the Tide Pool.

I think we all need a vacation.

Tuesday January 28, 2003 -- 7:40pm
Reason to Like my Job: Today, in the mail, we received a big gray plastic cart (some assembly required), a molecule model set, and 3,000 flyers urging people to come see one of our Board members dressed as a dog.

Reason Not to Like my Job: Outside temperature = 5. Inside temperature = 55. I guess it could be worse.

I have learned a new tactic for dealing with the director. Today when he asked me what my schedule was for the afternoon, I replied, "I have no schedule for the afternoon. What do you need?"

"We need to meet to discuss the hiring of the educators and reservationist."

"Did you look at the resumes I gave you of the people I want to hire?"

"No."

After this point, it became clear that there was absolutely no reason whatsoever for us to meet and/or discuss anything. An important lesson has been learned: take a minute to delve a little deeper and avoid an excruciating hour long meeting discussing nothing.

It's very cold. I can't remember what grass looks like.

Monday January 27, 2003 -- 6:30pm
I don't much like soup. I used to like clam chowder (New England style, of course) but otherwise it has never really excited me. I'm having some very watery and unsatisfying cream of mushroom right now.

I went to Dr. L today and left with a prescription for Xanax, for anxiety. Yes, I felt chronic depression was getting a bit predictable and boring, so I've taken to having small anxiety attacks when faced with such challenges as making a phone call or going to work.

Instead of dashing off to the pharmacy to get it filled, I went to the mall and bought a digital camera. This was insane for a number of reasons, including the fact that in another month I won't even have a computer. Oh well. I rarely buy anything of any signficance, so I think it's ok. Plus, Dr. Jay told me to, and I do what he tells me. Well... sometimes. When it's something I want to do. :)

I don't have it yet. It's going to be delivered within the week. I also bought a Ben Harper double cd. I am not to be trusted with money.

Saturday January 25, 2003 -- 9:50pm
Happy birthday to my Kai Guy! I haven't even managed to mail off his Christmas gifts yet. :(

Thursday January 23, 2003 -- 9:10pm
I totally choked tonight. It's unusual for me. I normally have no problem with public speaking. I don't even really think about it. So tonight I get up there to defend the importance of the youth program over which I obsess endlessly, and I choke. Fa-bu-lous. This grant pays half my salary and already got cut by 30% this year!

So, as quickly as possible, I turned the microphone over to my 15 year old accompliss. She proceeded to completely rock the house. Good Lord. The kid is amazing. She had the committee nodding in agreement; complete strangers waved to get her attention so they could give her the thumbs up; a museum Board member who was there, obviously stunned, shook her hand. It was a beautiful, beautiful thing.

Here's to teenage passion and fearlessness! May it forever flip polite old age the bird.

Wednesday January 22, 2003 -- 6:50pm
A belated happy birthday to Dr. Jay.

I am starting to develop a small inkling of respect for some people I have been hating very enthusiastically. It's really annoying.

Some good things have happened at the museum this week - at last night's Board meeting, specifically. The hiring freeze was lifted, and they agreed to sink a chunk of change into advertising. I really believe that the advertising is going to make a difference for us.

I'm feeling sorry for myself tonight. I am bored, accutely aware of feeling lonely and uninteresting, and it's cold. I probably should have stayed longer at work, but had become suddenly useless at about 3:00 and figured I might as well go. I'm annoyed because, lately, I've been having little attacks of side-effects from one of my meds every afternoon. I haven't had them since going on the second one, and it sucks because I know I have to increase the first one again.

Wah, wah, wah. The good news in that Alyce is coming for a visit next weekend! We spoke this morning, and I can't wait to see her.

Monday January 20, 2003 -- 6:45pm
Martin Luther King Day. I'm sure he'd be just thrilled with the current state of affairs around here these days.

The museum's been packed for the past 3 days! Yay! It is so great to see so many people there and to see that they love it. We had a very nice spot on the 6:00 NBC affiliate news Friday night. We all watched a recording of it today at lunch and cheered for ourselves. It felt good. It was something we all needed. Tomorrow night is the witching hour, a.k.a. Board meeting in which they either approve our proposal and agree to support it financially, or we face sudden unemployment.

My devious plans for my parents' Christmas gift went off just as planned last night. Wah-hah-HAAAAAH! I am also quite impressed with my ability to predict their behavior. I talked to Mom today, and she said they had a wonderful time and were highly disturbed by my deviousness. But if it resulted in my father having the best steak of his life and my mother getting to eat unusually large shrimp, then they can go ahead and be disturbed.

I'm a little disturbed that, when my mother can't track me down, she just checks my website to find out what I've been up to!

Bizarre Museum Happenings du Jour: Another of the stupid roof hatches blew open. I don't think they're supposed to do this on a regular basis, but then, a lot of unusual things happen at the museum on a regular basis. The director had to climb an alarmingly high ladder and yank the thing shut. He complimented my intelligence when I suggested that the problem of a rattling window might be solved by locking it. Rocket science.

And I attempted to pull a bag of styrofoam out of a cardboard box so I could take the box home and mail off some Christmas-yes-Christmas gifts. The bag of styrofoam was suspisciously heavy, and it turned out to be full of water. I have no idea. Anyhow, I brilliantly took the bag outside, cut a hole in it and emptied the water onto the sidewalk. Where it promptly froze into a sheet of ice. OK. So, I take back the sarcastic "Rocket science" comment.