WhatsUp19

Sunday March 23, 2003 -- 8:15pm
Last night, after sushi from Ichiban, we decided to try the new little wine bar on Lark Street. It was interesting. Pretentious. Small. The bartender seemed terribly confused by everything. Still, it's somewhat sad that I can never, ever go back. See, they had these beautiful wood cabinets over by the entrance, and I was dying to know what was kept inside. My cohorts dared me to open them, but I didn't. I swear, I didn't! Nevertheless, one of them somehow became open just as we were getting up to leave. Even though there were only gas and electric meters inside, I felt this was certainly significant and worthy of documentation, so I whipped out the camera and started snapping pictures. Naturally the nervous bartender chose that moment to wander over. I told him that we were the Utilities Police. Yeah. So we won't be going back there any time soon.

Saturday March 22, 2003 -- 8:10pm
Ha. Someone found this page by doing a search for "whatsup crack." Uh....
Sushi and the Kai guy beckon. I did a little work on the Photo Album tonight and updated the Front Page. I'll be adding more photos soon. Now that I have this digital camera, prepare to be bombarded.

-- 7pm
I am having a hard time updating my resume, as it is very difficult to sum up everything I do in a few bulleted points.

Friday March 21, 2003
Happy Birthday to my brother, Angie, Bob, and Johanne Sebastian Bach!

I refuse to discuss the war.

I keep meeting interesting boys. I refuse to refer to them as "men," because I refuse to admit that I am no longer 17 and, therefore, as socially inept as I think. Anyway, there is no reason to believe that any of these interesting boys-not-men would be the least bit interested in me, but I think it's an interesting development just the same.

Interesting, how many times I used some form of the word interesting in that sentence.

The lovely cable guy came this morning and hooked me up to Roadrunner. And cable, but I don't seem quite as interested (there I go again) in watching the TV as I am in completely ignoring world events and updating my web page.

I have lived in my new place for 23 days now, and I still have not finished unpacking. I just don't know what to do with the rest of the stuff. As we speak, I am sitting on the floor, "Dad" pillow under my ass, typing on a keyboard that is supported by a box full of photo albums.

But I'm getting closer. I bought a little shelf for the TV and stereo yesterday and a cd/tape rack. I would have gotten the bookshelves too, but I didn't think I could carry them upstairs by myself. I think I will have to rent a boy/man for an evening one day this week.

I am a bad person because, while I never once forgot that my brother's birthday was coming, I did manage to fail to send him even a card.

Work, incidentally, sucks and, like the equally assanine war, I refuse to discuss it. The good thing is that events seem to be unfolding in such a way as to make leaving a bit easier.

Wednesday March 19, 2003 -- 2:50pm
Mmmm. It has been a nummy day here at work. El jefe was out sick for the day, and only good people were in the building alllllll day. Several of us went to lunch up the street - which took forever due to traffic that was moving at a somewhat slow pace. Like, at one point I considered just parking the car on the road and walking because I would get there quicker. Anyhow, I ate so much food that everyone was shocked. Even me. Now I am leaving for the day at 3:00. Hehehehe.

I forgot to mention that Annette and Kai are visiting. They stayed with me on Saturday night, which was way fun. Kai is a sweety. His favorite color is blue ("beeoo") and we watched "Lilo and Stitch" over and over. At the museum, he liked the Mohican wigwam and the Penny Well best of all. I'll put pictures up once I have the right technology at home. (I finally called Roadrunner and the mechanic today.)

Tuesday March 18, 2003 -- 6:35pm
Attention Self: Would you Puh-LEEEZ call Roadrunner tomorrow and get your Internet connection hooked up at home?!?

Attention US Government: You are a stupid-head. I mean it.

Sunday March 16, 2003 -- 1:00pm
Attention People of the Northeast: Please, for the love of God, take down your Christmas decorations! No wonder the snow won't stop! It's March, people. Come on.

Thursday March 13, 2003 -- 2:55pm
Spring keeps coming and going. If Spring had just been in a bad car accident, and we were waiting at the Emergency Room, the doctor would come out of surgery looking very serious. He'd tell us that it was touch and go. We wouldn't be sure if Spring was going to pull through or not. We'd be very worried.

Sunday March 9, 2003 -- 6:15pm
I'm feeling a bit better. No real reason - just getting over my little Drama-Queen fit. (I always wanted to be a queen.) I am really looking forward to my day off tomorrow though. I sort of feel a shift coming. I've felt things like this before and been totally wrong, so who knows. I just keep having these odd optimistic moments that are really not at all in keeping with my normal attitude or a decent reflection of the recent events of my life.

A strange thing happened last night. I had set my clock/radio alarm, and it went off. I was going to hit the snooze button, because I was still really sleepy, but I liked the song that was playing, so I decided to wait until it ended. It ended, but then the DJ didn't start to speak and no song followed it. I waited, figuring the guy was just slacking off. I waited and waited. Weird. Finally I rolled over to look at the radio and see how much longer I could linger in bed.

It was 3:15am. My alarm had not gone off. I remembered the lyrics of the song, and they seemed to have some significance. Now, of course, I have no idea what the song was. I'm waiting to hear it again.

Insert Twight Zone theme here.

Saturday March 8, 2003 -- 8:30am
3 Reasons Why You Should Drop What You're Doing and Find a Way to Cheer Me Up:

1. While I gave Denial a valiant try, there's no longer any getting around the fact that the person who told me he couldn't get involved with ME because he wasn't ready to be in a relationship is now dating someone else. This makes it harder to believe his assertion that it wasn't because of anything about me. But I guess this shouldn't come as a huge shock. My ineptitude in the world of relationships is almost legendary.

2. The museum has finally thrown the last straw onto this camel's back, and I am trying to formulate A Plan so that I won't feel completely lost when I hand in my resignation. I can't work here anymore. I love the place and what I do, but it is being run by heartless, money-minded, pompous asses who think they know what's best for the place, despite rarely setting foot in it. Furthermore, I believe that this is characteristic of children's museums. Something about the mix of educators who love children and administrators who love money doesn't jive. I think I'm done with the entire field. Incidentally, while it's easy to sound casual about it in writing, this is completely ripping me apart. I am not a person who easily shows emotion, and, in the last 3 days I have literally wept in front of no less than 9 people.

3. My therapist thinks we're "stuck." I've thought we've been stuck for a while now, but it's not so great to hear him admit it. Also, he's taking the summer off. Maybe this is a good time to run away to Canada.

There are a couple of things that are good and keeping me from jumping off the next available bridge, window ledge, very tall person's shoulders, etc. One is my apartment which I absolutely love. It's still a bit of a mess, but it's coming together, and I spent a bunch of money at Target yesterday in an effort to provide myself with some retail therapy, so now I don't have to keep my silverware on the kitchen floor.

Also, the very first piece of mail I got at my new address was a wonderful piece of artwork from the highly talented Ms. Natalie Sheehan. I framed it and hung it over my kitchen sink, so I will see it every morning and have something to smile about.

Time to be a good little worker bee for the surprisingly corporate children's museum machine.

Monday March 3, 2003 -- 9:30am
I moved on Thursday night. Bennett emerges occasionally from under the covers of my bed to cautiously explore - always within scurrying distance of the bedroom. Minnie, of course, has already made the place her own.

I love it. I love the location and, as I unpack, I love the apartment itself more and more. Yay!

This weekend was a complete disaster at the museum. I actually came in yesterday afternoon specifically to write letters of apology. Eish. The most flummoxing problem of the weekend was the disappearance of an entire cake. Not your piddling little run of the mill cake either. A half sheet with gobs of frosting and "Happy Birthday Kathleen" written on it. Just gone. I scoured the museum. I'm particularly distressed because I'm actually the one who picked up the cake from the store. So I know it was here. Wherever it is, I hope it's in the good company of all of the stapelers, which are also missing.

No Internet access at the house yet - although I do have a computer sitting on my bedroom floor - so I probably will only be able to update when I'm at work and no one is looking.

Tuesday February 25, 2003 -- 4:45pm
It looks like I'll be moving on Thursday evening. I was hoping to be able to get in there today, as I had today off, but no such luck. I did get a lot of laundry done though.

Once again, I quadrupled the amount of time it took to complete simple journey today by pretending I knew exactly where I was going, only to discover that I was completely wrong. I am single-handedly supporting the economies of several MiddleEastern countries, as well as the Albany Public Library and Sallie Mae.

I seem to be developing a new and exciting neurosis. I have become quite paranoid that my car will catch fire, and I suspect my psychiatrist of feeding me placebos. I think he's a fine human being, but something about the way he smiles and avoids my gaze when I tell him something is working makes me think he's pulling the wool over my eyes.

I guess if I'm going to be Crazy Cat Lady, I might as well go all out.

Monday February 24, 2003 -- 6:30pm
How could these faces not make you smile? Natalie and Madelyn.

-- 5:30pm
Given the current price of gas, and the weather, I should probably try harder to resist my tendency to "just see where this road goes." My trip back from Binghamton yesterday was unecessarily lengthy. I had a lovely visit with my friends and the super-cute girls. (I'll post pictures when I'm done here.) Coming back, though, I found myself practically falling asleep on the highway.

I decided that coffee was a must, so I got off at the next available exit and chose a road that headed East - which was my general direction on the highway. I was well into "Deliverance" country when I finally decided to pull out my map. Sadly, I found I was heading SOUTHeast. I decided to continue on my course until I found a north-bound road that looked reasonable, figuring that would get me back to the highway.

An hour and exactly zero cups of coffee later, I made it back to Route 88. In my quest for caffeine I had passed 7 guns and ammo stores (most of which looked like somebody's home), 4 general stores, 5 horse stables and 0 Dunkin' Donuts.

I got back on the highway, pretty much where I had gotten off an hour before. At the next exit there was a Dunkin' Donuts. Naturally.

Had a visit with my shrink this afternoon. I like him. I mean, as much as you can like someone you see for 15 minutes a month. He laughs at my humor, and he makes me laugh because he is so Freudian and looks so much like Dr. Phil. He's probably not really Freudian. It's just the couch. He actually has one of those Freud-style couches. And he puts the tips of his fingers together and looks at the ceiling when I talk. I feel quite certain that Freud would do the same.

Sunday February 23, 2003 -- 8:00am
I am debating whether or not to go to Binghamton today. The forecast reads, "Wintery Mix," which is the most ominous of forecasts in my book. You never know with a wintery mix. And in Binghamton it's supposed to snow all day. Stupid weather. Also, I saw a car on fire on the highway last night, and it scared the shit out of me. I've seen a car on fire once before, but it was daytime, and I could see the guy whose car it was standing safely outside of the car, shaking his head in dismay. This time all I saw was the car engulfed in flames and a policeman, newly arrived on the scene, cautiously approaching the fire in sillouette. I have no idea what causes a car to catch fire.

Then again, yesterday Natalie apparently announced that she would like to give me a hug. How can I say no to that?!?

It would probably make more sense to stay here and pack, on my first day off in ???. After all, I will most likely be moving sometime within the next few days. I'm very excited about this move. I have myself convinced that it is going to make everything right with my life. This is probably an unrealistic expectation, and I should be a little more cautious. But, c'mon! I'm ONE BLOCK from Ben & Jerry's! How could my life NOT get better?!?

Wednesday February 19, 2003 -- 7:30am

It is fairly close to impossible to live in Upstate New York and feel sexy in February. I was really depressed yesterday, so I decided that today I would make a concerted effort to feel good. Step One (obviously!): Feel sexy. Somehow, layers just don't do it for me. But those hiking boots I wear all winter? Hot damn! Watch out, Katherine Zeta Jones!

Interesting how, occasionally, this web page decides to shift all text changes slightly to the left. The last 2 characters of every entry have now changed color. Highly annoying, but I'm far too busy and important to waste time fixing it.

Speaking of busy... it is February vacation week for the little kiddies around these parts. (I'll bet they're all pissed that they didn't get a snow day out of the storm this week.) The museum is hopping. Monday was slow because of the weather, but things started to pick up yesterday, and I predict utter chaos by Friday. I taught 2 camps Monday and 1 yesterday. They are going well, and I'm even having fun teaching them. I tend to forget how much I enjoy it.

Speaking of important... I was on the news on Monday night and quoted in the paper yesterday! I haven't seen the news thing yet, but Dee's dad got it on T-Bo (spelling?) so hopefully I'll get to see my big debut.

Well, the guy who saves all of his empty cans of Budweiser is going to arrive soon with 5 more garbage bags full. I feel like buying the guy some Guiness or Bass or something decent so he doesn't have to drink so much Bud! Anyway, off to another day. Only about one week until I move!