WhatsUp17

Sunday January 19, 2003 -- 1:45pm
I went ice fishing this morning! This was very cool. Cold, even. Ha, ha. I crack myself up. Anyway, it was really good. I wasn't so psyched when the alarm went off at 5 this morning. In fact, I spent about 10 minutes looking at the clock and saying, "No. I can't do this. Nope." But then I remembered that I had set the new, super-amazing, totally phat coffee maker to start making coffee at 4:55. I leapt out of bed at 5:10 and, due to my amazing ability to move at warp speed when I'm not getting ready for work, I was out of the house and fighting with the car over whether or not it was going to start by 5:30.

Quick stop at the museum to fix the planetarium, quick prayer of thanks to the God of 24 Hour Gas Stations, and I was on my way. It was just dawn when we got out on the ice. The moon was full and still visible, low in the sky. I got a little worried when Jay (Jake's brother) (too many Jay's in my life) looked at me and said, "Is that all the clothes you have?" (I had on tights, 2 pairs of socks, my boots, long johns, jeans, an undershirt, long sleeved thermal, a turtleneck, a fleece vest, a wool sweater, my winter coat, and two pairs of gloves.) But then I remembered that I am of hardy Newfie stock.

We caught lots o' fish - it even involved me a few times, proving that I am not, in fact, bad luck. The cold wasn't even that bad. After a while the wind started to pick up a little, and it was pretty cold then. But then Angie and I just jumped into the shanty with the nice little heater.

I learned many things today. (1) I should spend more time outdoors. (2) Oreos are good, even when they are frozen. (3) I don't like watching fish die. (4) Making mistakes is important if you're going to learn how to do anything. (5) While it continues to be my least favorite season, Winter is not inherently evil.

Saturday January 18, 2003 -- 5:00pm
Ah! So this is what shit feels like!

Happy birthday, Pat! Boston's rocking hard tonight.

Thursday January 16, 2003 -- 6:00pm
Now that I know how, and while I have use of the museum's equipment, I think I will scan a few things and post them here. So look forward to much hilarity.

Which will be refreshing, since the majority of my posts for the next few months will probably be really morbid and depressing. I stand an alarmingly good chance of being both homeless and unemployed within the next two months, so good humor may be in short supply.

Anyone out there have a few thousand dollars to spare? I think I've asked this before. Well, I guess this, at last, should teach me to stop putting so much of myself into one thing. I am the living embodiment of putting all of one's eggs in one basket.

But wait! There is good news! We ran out of coffee filters, which inspired me to finally bring my new, very wonderful, coffee maker up from the car. (See, the old coffee maker was built specifically to prohibit the use of permanent coffee filters, of which we have one.) It is set up now, and all ready to start brewing sweet, stimulating bliss at 7am tomorrow.

Tuesday January 14, 2003 -- 8:30pm
I wonder if George W. is as idiotic and stubborn as he seems. Ok. That is all for my political commentary tonight.

We finally unloaded Fraser this evening. He's laying out there on a snow bank all like, "What's up with this? I was all nice and cozy with all these cool little thingies hanging on me and lights and stuff, and now I'm out here on a freakin' snow bank!" Sigh. I'm depressed about it.

The fire department is coming to inspect our apartment tomorrow. What this means for me is that I get to move the dresser that is blocking the door to our fire escape - which happens to be located in my bedroom. It's lots of fun, because I find 90% of the cat toys and then get to try to clean up the absolutely completely disgusting mold that is covering the bottom of the door due to the never-ending condensation that trickles down the walls all winter.

Delicious!

Monday January 13, 2003 -- 9:30pm
Yawn. I have been having a really hard time getting out of bed since putting on my new super comfy sheets. It has caused me, so far, to miss 2 things I had intended to attend. If there is any hope of me making it to the 10am Manager's Meeting tomorrow, I had better set my alarm for, like, 3.

Sunday January 12, 2003 -- 11:11pm
Oh dear. My numerous revelations have left me afraid to go to sleep. So I'm in the market for suggestions of Ways To Occupy The Night.

-- 6:30pm
Whoa. Interesting afternoon. Mind-bending revelations. However, I have a crazy headache, and I have to update my resume for this grant thing, so life goes on.

-- 11:30am
Clearly, I have lost my mind.

I hate it when nice, innocent young people ask me to explain why I moved to Seattle. Where do I begin?

Anyhow, today the gypsies look like snow-covered bushes, and I was woken up by a phone call from the director. I didn't answer. It saddens me that I know his cell phone number by heart. I'm not calling him back. I am missing a perfectly wonderful baby's baptism today in an effort to give myself one entire Day Off. I'll be damned (probably literally) if I'm doing anything work-related.

I've noticed that Maxwell House's descriptions of their coffees could apply to men. "Rich French Roast: Bold, hearty, and exceptionally rich." "Colombian Supreme: Pure, lively, full-bodied." My personal favorite (no surprise) "Italian Espresso Roast: Deep, intense, but not bitter."

I did update the Photo Album last night. So check it out.

Saturday January 11, 2003 -- 10:10pm
A taxi has just whisked my downstairs neighbors off into the night. From this window, I can see through the gap between 2 buildings and across the street into the park. 3 snow-covered bushes look like tired gypsies pushing their way west.

I feel like taking pictures tonight. I am not at all sleepy. I wasted the whole day - mostly by sleeping through the majority of it. I've lost my appetite again, after a month-long frenzy of eating. It happens.

I think I'll make some more picture updates tonight.

-- 12:30pm
I had a funny dream this morning. I was having a big party - some sort of annual event - and I was at the door greeting guests when Charlton Heston arrived. Obviously, Charlton and I are not the best of friends. There was some sort of obligatory reason he'd been invited and another obligatory reason that he'd come. He knew better than to bother trying to fake cordiality with me, so we ignored each other.

But he'd brought a guest - some other irrational wack-job who'd just written a book that caused me to despise him. He, not having met me before or attended one of these parties, didn't know the drill, and he held his hand out for me to shake. I ignored him and turned to Mike D., who had arrived with them, and gave him a big hug.

Charlton's friend looked very offended. I felt mildly guilty, but also proud of myself for not being false.

I also had several bad dreams last night. I witnessed a horrifying accident, complete with graphic close-ups and instant replays in slow motion.

-- 12:10am
Well, it happened. Joe's last day. I can't say anything about it.

It's funny (not ha-ha funny) how things in life balance out. Like, if you're blind, you have really good hearing. It goes the other way too. If, say, you have exceptional talents for art, you suck at sports or something.

Jay likes to call me "The Girl Who Can Do Anything," and it always makes me mad, because I can do a lot of things, but I can't do anything that matters. Well - not entirely true. I can't do anything that matters to my existence as a human. I do things that matter for other people, and if I were an android, or if I had mastered the art of being emotionless, that would be fine.

Until then, there is alcohol.

Wednesday January 8, 2003 -- 8:15pm
By 6:00 tonight, I was exhausted, so I was thrilled when the kids said they were ready to leave at 6:30. One got picked up. I drive the other one home. Last ones out of the building, so I had to go check to make sure the first floor doors were really closed and not just pretending to be closed, as they sometimes do. Everything's fine down there. I debate about which stairs to use to get back to the second floor and the back entrance where my car is parked. The back stairs would be quicker, but that's where the rats are.

But I'm not scared of the rats! So I go up the back stairs.

I don't even take one step through the door before I see the rat. In fact, I see it through the little window in the door, before I actually open it. It's curled up, sort of, under the radiator. I make lots of noise opening the door. You know: In case it's just sleeping.

It's not just sleeping. It's sincerely dead. I poke at it with a stick to make sure. Then I go upstairs and wrestle with Guilt vs. Wanting to go Home. Guilt, naturally, wins, so I get a plastic bag and some thick gloves and deal with the corpse.

Now I am truly ready to go home, and vomit. Not because rats disgust me. They don't. I have had several good rat experiences, and I actually think they are kind of cool. No. Actually, I'm just really tired and stressed out, and I've worked basically non-stop for 11 hours, including having to make nice with Evil Board Members. (They like me, which makes it all the more fun to hate them.)

I say to the remaining kid, "C'mon, remaining kid. Let's get out of here."

Three steps out the door and I see that my car has been buried in a pile of packed snow. Some morons came earlier in the day and snow-blowed our side walk (which no one dares walk on anyway, due to the 4 foot icicles dangling precariously overhead). They blew the snow directly onto my car.

Back into the museum for shovels, and there I am in my skirt, trying to find my Subaru.

We dig for a while, and the thing is still going nowhere - although the spinning tires kick up snow very dramatically, which is somewhat satisfying. Luckily, some lovely man in a pick up truck stopped to save my life. I was seriously ready to just go back into the museum and sleep there. I might as well, given how soon I have to return.

Anyway, I eventually made it home alive and have now indulged in a couple of very nice "adult beverages." I intend to be asleep in my bed in under 15 minutes. If you need me, that's where I'll be.

-- 5:40pm
1. Every time I see another inch of snow on the ground, I become slightly more hysterical.
2. My car was having a strange, scary problem. Yesterday the symptoms suddenly stopped. I am not sure if I should be happy, or if this is like the way the excruciating pain of appendicitis stops when the appendix finally ruptures. You know. Right before you die.
3. I am so tired right now that, if I put my head down on my desk, I am fairly certain I would fall asleep.
4. The main grant that funds my program at the museum got cut by about 30%. This is not exactly shocking news, but today the axe finally fell, after dangling over my guillotine for 6 months.

Sunday January 5, 2003 -- 5:51pm
Oh, I forgot to mention that today I finally got to see one of the museum's unintentional rats (We do actually have rats on purpose, but they stay in their cage.) alive! It startled me, but it wasn't disgusting or anything. I think rats have gotten more bad press than they really deserve, personally. I mean, they're smart little guys. We no longer find bodies in our traps, for example. They eat the bait, even set off the traps, but don't get caught. I imagine a sort of town meeting, in which the rats got together to solve the problem of the traps.

"Well, we've lost Harry and Matilda, but there's still peanut butter out there to be eaten. Anyone have any ideas? Yes? Chuck?"

"What if we..."

Well, I don't have any idea how a rat gets the peanut butter off the little thing without having its neck broken. The rats are smarter than I am. I can't even handle putting air in my tires. The rats would have that and my brakes fixed by now!

By the way, if you haven't been to my photo album recently, you should check it out. I've added a few pictures. I'll be putting more up soon too.

-- 5:45pm
I seem to have a mental affliction wherein I never think to take a pain killer when I have a headache. I almost always wander around in pain, complaining about it, until someone says, "Did you take some aspirin?" Hmm. Then I always smile and light up and say, "Oh yeah! Aspirin!" and run away to the nearest bottle, and the other person - the genius who suggested aspirin - watches me in bewilderment.

Today no one reminded me of the existence of such things. I thought of it all by myself, while lying in the dark praying for the God of Headaches to just come down and smite me already. I'm very proud of myself - although my day (not to mention that of those in my presence) might have gone more smoothly had someone simply asked about the aspirin.

Aspirin is great. You have a headache, you take some aspirin, it goes away. Why can't we have something like that for moods? You have a bad mood, you take something, it goes away. I guess we do - like heroin, cocaine, ecstacy, etc. - but they are illegal. Another government conspiracy to make me miserable!

Saturday January 4, 2003 -- 2:15pm
Ho-ho! Victory is mine! And I love my car, and I promise that as soon as this snow goes away I am going to treat it to an oil change, new windshield wipers and a trip to the mechanic to talk about brakes.

Yes, I finally dug the car out. I was so happy when it easily plowed through the foot-high snow bank left between it and the street. I drove it around the block a few times - which, you will remember, is my favorite winter sport - then finally jammed it into a snow bank in the Park.

And it continues to snow.

-- 12:45pm
Ugh. I can't shovel anymore. Sadly, my car is not extracted from its snow pile, and it has to be moved before 8pm. I can't even think about going back out there and digging it out, then clearing a spot for it somewhere else on top of that. It hasn't even stopped snowing yet!!!

The good news is, I managed to talk the director out of opening the museum today.