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Journal |
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Page 4 |
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Please sign my guestbook!!!!!!!!! |
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September 10, 2000 |
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HOLY COW........11 DAYS!!!!!! Things were going by quick until we hit September, and BAM, 11 days!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's insane I tell ya :o) Anyway, not much new on the homefront. I've just been trying to work some overtime and get things cleaned up before I go in. The key word here is "busy". I go on Thursday for all my preop tests. I kinda wish I had someone going with me, but I think it's going to be a good time for me to just think and go over in my head what I'm actually doing. I am getting nervous, but I'm not. I know that doesn't really make a whole lot of sense, but it's really how I feel. I will tell you this though, in the first time in my life I'm looking forward to the future. Before I'd never talk about getting married or having children. If the subject came up, I would be like, "I'll never get married or have children," and would end up getting all upset and start crying. Don't get me wrong, I'm DEFINITELY not ready for marriage or children now, but I'm slowly realizing it will happen for me in due time. But on the same note, I'm scared the weightloss thing isn't going to work. I know I'll lose some of the weight, but maybe I won't lose enough and I'll still be miserable. Man, that's such a horrible feeling. I know I'm being paranoid, but nothing this good ever happens in my life. It's like God is finally answering my prayers. I just don't want to be depressed anymore. Lately I haven't wanted to do anything. I just want to be a normally 23 year old who likes to go dancing (I do love to dance but am embarrassed to do it) and hang out with friends. I want to finish school. I want to get out of Nebraska and make it without my parents. I love my parents, but sometimes I feel like I'm being held back. It's it normal to feel like this? |
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September 5, 2000 |
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Hey all. Less than 3 weeks!!!!!!! I don't know if I'm going to make it. All I have to say is that I am totally exhausted. I completely tired of my family. They are all driving my CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My mom flipped out on me for no reason today. She had no reason to do that to me. Not that you really wanted to know that, but I told you anyway. I'm not really sure what to talk about. Not much new going on or any new info. I will fill you in on my friends though........I talked to my friend Dottie last night. She's finally in the +100lbs group!!!!!!!!! I'm so proud of her. My friend Kelley has been post-op for 5 weeks now. She's lost 45lbs!!!!!! My twin, Holly, has gotten her surgery date. SEPTEMBER 29, 2000!!!!!!!!! Exactly a week after mine. And Sandy, my angel, has her first appointment with her surgeon on September 7, 2000. I'm really happy for all of them. Now we just got to get Sandy a date and we're all set :o) But I need to go balance my checkbook. The sad thing is that I love to do it. I'm an accounting major, it's my thing :o) Talk to you soon!!!!!!!!! |
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September 4, 2000 |
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Happy Labor Day!!!!!!! I had to work today, but that's ok. I work early so I could have the whole evening to myself. 17 day, 17 days!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it's so close. Time has passed by quickly, but it hasn't. As horrible as this has been, I don't think if my grandma wouldn't have gotten sick it wouldn't have passed by so quickly. I just really haven't had the time to do anything besides work and take care of my grandparents. Another thing I'm looking forward to about having the surgery is a break from my grandparents!!!!!!!!! I love them dearly, don't get me wrong, but I am emotionally and physically exhausted. I've probably already said this before, but I really am. I need a break!!!!!!!! I don't really have much to say today, so I think I'll sign off for now. More soon :o) |
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