Cast:
Shannen Doherty- Rene Moiser
Jeremy London- T.S. Quint
Jason Lee- Brodie Bruce
Claire Forlani- Brandi Svenning
Ben Affleck- Shannon Hamilton
Joey Lauren Adams- Gwen Turner
Ren� Humphrey- Trisha Jones
Jason Mewes- Jay/ Phat Buds
Kevin Smith- Silent Bob/ The Dork Knight
Ethan Suplee- William Black
Stan Lee- Himself
Priscilla Barnes- Miss Ivannah
Michael Rooker- Mr Jared Svenning
T.S. has killed a girl who was meant to appear on his girlfriend's dad's dating show, condemning him to being dumped. TS heads over to his best friend Brodie, who that very morning has also been dumped, for having "no direction in life" [where does that sound familiar? - Andrew] They take refuge in The Mall; they don't go to shop, they don't go to work, they just go.
They have a plan to wreck Brandi's dad's show, but remain guilt-free. There are but two with the power to rescue TS's lovelife: two men/boys who give the word Terrorist new meaning; Jay and Silent Bob. Jay and Bob decide the best course of action is to wreck the stage, and mall-wide terror ensues...
There is, however, one problem. La Fours. Who? Huh? They don't even know who La Fours is. Only the most feared security guard in the business, with 64 collars and a reputed two kills!
Other film highlights include: Bob flying through the air and crashing into a ladies changing room, where he sees flesh. [18 cert, here i come...]; Jay and Bob escaping from La Fours and his cronies with a batman style grappling hook; an unexpected visit from Brodie's idol, Stan Lee, who gives him some sage advice on life the universe and everything, as well as some information on superhero genitelia, and not a third nipple in sight.
The film's climax is in the form of the big dating show, where, two joints later, Brodie and Gil are the sole remaining contestants. Brodie makes Gil look like a homophobe and a fat-person hater, and is announced the winner. TS and Brandi work out their problems, and Brodie uses some "underhand" methods to grass up Rene's new boyfriend. [and they all lived happily ever after]
As the credits roll, the 'what everyone is doing now' schtick appears. Brodie took over presenting duties on the Tonight Show, with Rene as his band leader [is that a euphamism?].
Starring -
The Muppets
loads of cameos from famous people, as per usual, such as Hulk Hogan
Plot - Gonzo [no relation to Dave - Andrew] finds out he is an alien and goes on TV to tell everyone. Then the government try to take out his brain.
What I think - It's a Muppet film, what's not to love about these guys? This is a great film, with some really funny moments in it (watch out for the talking ham sandwitch), and of course, the Swedish chef.
Score - 4 DAVEs. [editor's note - it must be pointed out that this is a 20-year-old franchise, and to have a film this fresh and innovative is quite an achievement]
Starring -
Angelina Jolie - Lara Croft
Chris Barry - The Butler
Plot- Lara Croft saves the world from some time controlling thing. In tight clothes.
What I think - some great fight scenes, and shows that Angelina Jolie can be damn sexy [duh]. The stunts are well done and the efeects are breathtaking (watch out for Brian at the start. Lara is a shallow character, and Jolie plays her as well as could have been done.
Score - 3 DAVEs [bonus DAVE for Red Dwarf's Chris Barry]
Starring -
Keanu Reeves - Thomas Anderson [my name is Neo]
Carrie-Anne Moss - Trinity
Lawrence Fishbourne - Morpheus
What I think - Without the kick-ass stunts it would have been bollox, but there are kick ass stunts and then some. It's one of those films that will be remebered for a good while, not because of the sequels but because of the ground breaking effects and social message of not to let one person control your life to better their own. [isn't that capitalism?]
Score - 5 DAVEs [it was too good]