RELEASE DATE: 1987
RATED: R
REVIEWED BY: The DarkSider
Its the future and the world is filled with stock footage of fires and disaster. The beaches are ruled by violent gangs in California and guess what, they are all surfers. They don't really do much of anything according to this movie except surfing in slow motion and bon fires on the beach. How f*cking threatening indeed.
On the top of the surfer gangs are the Surf Nazis because they lead a wave with the left foot...or something. Anyhow, Adolf is their leader and along with him are his cronies;
Eva - Adolf's love wench...
Mengele - the Surf Nazi's doctor of odd inventions so to say...apparently a Flock of Seagulls fan...
Hook - a fellow with a hook arm who looked like he got his clothing from A Clockwork Orange's tag sale...
Brutus - their marksman who sports a dart gun...
Smeg - a mammas boy who has fallen in to the wrong crowd...
So these losers are the supposedly the baddest bunch on the beach. Anyhow, at first all the gangs control their own special section of the beach. Slowly but surely though, the Nazis muscle their way in to their territory. After awhile, rival gangs are almost all but gone at Surf Nazi hands.
Obviously, this wasn't going to be enough to fill 90 minutes of a movie so the film decided to throw in a big bad mamma seeking revenge sub plot. Nursing home resident Mrs. Eleanor Washington is a woman with a bad attitude. The only thing that matters to her is Leroy her son who gets bumped off by the Surf Nazis. Hell now that I mention it, this sub plot still wasn't enough to fill 90 minutes of pure excitement.
Anyhow, the movie switches focuses from "The Warriors" rip off plot line to Mrs. Washington's quest for revenge way to late in the movie. Things wrap up in a thrown together climax in which all the Surf Nazis, as the title predicts, die.
Thats honestly it for the movie. Most of it felt like I was watching a surfing show on ESPN 2. I really wish more effort was put in to this movie. It had such a f*cked up premise but it went nowhere. I will say that there is really nothing more funny than a guy Sieg Heiling on a surfboard. That almost made the movie for me.
1.) Auf Wiedersehen - Adolf and Eva get knocked off by Mrs. Washington when Eva gets her head chopped off and Adolf gets blow away. Apparently Mrs. Washington proved to be the Great Britain of this Nazi invasion.
1.) Surf Nazis - Now once again through the miracle of technology, we check on the ongoing inner monologue of Hitler's Brain;
"Warum hat den dritten reich ist reduziert worden auf ein paar homosexuellen anschauenden Leute in einem Lieferwagen?"
Rough Translation: "Why has the third reich been reduced to a few homosexual looking people in a van???"
