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| from Leslie |
| updated May 2005 |
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| In Your Eyes - Peter Gabriel accepting all i've done and said i want to stand and stare again til there's nothing left out it remains there in your eyes whatever comes and goes i will hear your silent call and i will touch this tender wall til i know i'm home again in your eyes... then all my instincts, they return and the grand facade so soon will burn without a noise, without my pride i reach out from the inside in your eyes the light, the heat i am complete i see the doorway of a thousand churches the resolution of all the fruitless searches oh i see the light and the heat oh i want to be that complete i want to touch the light, the heat i see in your eyes accepting all i've done and said i want to stand and stare again til there's nothing left out it remains there in your eyes whatever comes and goes oh it's in your eyes in your eyes... love i get so lost sometimes days pass and this emptiness fills my heart when i want to run away i drive off in my car but whichever way i go i connect to the place you are all my instincts, they return and the grand facade so soon will burn without a noise, without my pride i reach out from the inside in your eyes, the light, the heat i am complete i see the doorway of a thousand churches the resolution of all the fruitless searches oh i see the light and the heat oh i want to be that complete i want to touch the light, the heat i see in your eyes love i don't like to see so much pain so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away i get so tired, working so hard for our survival i look to my time with you to keep me awake and alive when all my instincts, they return and the grand facade so soon will burn without a noise, without my pride i reach out from the inside in your eyes, the light the heat i am complete i see the doorway of a thousand churches the resolution of all the fruitless searches oh i see the light and the heat oh i want to be that complete i want to touch the light, the heat i see in your eyes in your eyes |
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| I have linked into a network of people who are focused on saving things from the landfill and helping their neighbors in the process. This is network of local groups on Yahoo (at present) who give away and receive items that are unwanted by the giver. No money passes hands, and it is all a feel-good process! Please check for your local group at the link below! |
| Sometimes I let other people tramp all over my life. That is the understatement of the year! I am happy to have my life back and to be away from all of the poison of so called brothers and friends. I am happy to have my home back, and my husband, and my space. I regret all of the energy that I put into helping these people and won't put any more energy into them at all. However, I don't regret the energy that I put into my stepdaughter. I wish for her a better life, and I tried to help. I don't regret any of it, because I got to know her a bit better, and although I don't like some of what I learned about her, I'm glad I know it now, just the same. I feel burnt by her, too, and don't have the energy for any of it anymore. I am amazed that people my age, and people that call themselves "adults" can still be so scrappy, continually work against themselves by the choices they make, still end up having nothing, and then blame everyone else for all of their troubles. It is laughable and sad, but I am not their social worker. Some people do not need any help to sink their own ship, because consequences have a way of biting you in the ass, huh? Everyone has to grow up sometime, and usually that means that you have to stop running. Let's see what their next chapter brings. |
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| Life really is frail. Bad things DO happen to good people. Marriage is rough sometimes, but with the right person, it is well worth it, as I have found with my soulmate, Tommy. It has been 4 years that we have been together. I have learned a lot about the give and take of marriage in that time, even when we were not married. I have learned recently that Life really is frail. Bad things DO happen to good people. I have learned to cherish the good times. I have learned that it is not always 50/50 through no fault of either of us. I am trying to learn to let some things go. I am trying to learn that even while I am living my life, and others are complaining about me, my life goes on. I prefer that the fabric of my life not be made up of barbed wire. I choose gentler fibers, something that won't cut or rust. If that doesn't make sense to you, then maybe it wasn't meant for you. It is all just the way it is. |