 |
 |
| ON THE OTHER HAND |
| Marica By Antonio C. Abaya Written July 14, 2006 For Standard Today, July 18 issue My wife Marica died peacefully at about 3pm on July 12, after a short bout with lung cancer. She quit smoking about four or five years ago. But for forty years or more before that, she had been a daily, though moderate, smoker. You might say that nicotine had finally caught up with her. When she started undergoing medical treatment sometime in early May, she finally revealed to us that since September of last year she had been experiencing some inexplicable sensations � not pain � that moved from one part of her torso to another. She thought it was part of the ageing process. Many of her friends and contemporaries, she said, had talked of similar sensations in various parts of their bodies. We, the family, thought it was lack of exercise. Although we have had an 18-meter long lapping pool in our backyard since 1997, the number of times that Marica deigned to dip into it could be counted on the fingers of one hand. She did not want her alabaster skin to be defiled by the sun. We also have had a mini-gym since 1999 that contained various fitness equipment. We, of course, did not expect the dainty, delicately graceful and un-athletic Marica to try her hand at the punching bag or the weights or the elliptical track machine. But she did use the treadmill for about one year. But she gave it up about two years ago because the machine, battered by constant use by other members of the family, had started to make all kinds of weird noises consistent with its own old age. Machines that creaked and groaned were a no-no for Marica, who was afraid that such contraptions might scandalously implode or explode while she was using them. So in late April this year, we made an appointment with a physical therapist for an exercise regimen for her that was suitable for her age (which she specifically asked not to be revealed in any obit about her), her thoroughly feminine personality and her angelic physical strength. But during a family dinner before that date with the physical therapist, someone suggested that she see an internist, especially since for two or three consecutive mornings she had noticed small traces of blood in her sputum. After the first x-rays, the initial diagnosis of the internist was tuberculosis. But other tests � such as bone density test, CT scan and MRI � showed a tumor in her right lung, with a few small nodules along her spinal column and in her cranium. A biopsy confirmed the verdict: lung cancer, stage 4 or advanced stage. My children and I were devastated, but Marica took it all stoically, never giving in to despair and or falling into self-pity. Throughout her two-month long ordeal, she remained cheerful and optimistic, and accepted every setback with infinite grace. Despite her deceptively fragile, Oriental-flower persona, she was actually stronger than I and the four children put together. We and her many friends know her to be the kindest and gentlest person whom we have ever known and we do not understand why she was visited with such a cruel fate. Twice during these two months, while holding her hand, I said, Marica, you do not deserve this. She looked up at me, smiled weakly and nodded her head. But she never complained, she never shed a tear for herself. She said she was ready to go any time. She reasoned that she had lived a full life to the age of (deleted). Some of her friends and relatives, she said, have passed away without even reaching that age. The only request she repeated, again and again, with the attending physicians was to be spared from pain. The Marica who feared a creaking treadmill might collapse or explode on her, was also, predictably, averse to pain. And the doctors strove to protect her from this pain, with moderate success. Early in her 18-day radiation therapy, the cancer invaded her left pelvic area and she had to use a wheelchair because trying to walk caused her so much pain.After the radiation therapy, she also had difficulty swallowing her food, for which she never lost the appetite. The doctors gave her additional antidotes to pain, but it was at times still an ordeal. She was scheduled to begin the dreaded chemotherapy on July 20. But the cancer was relentless. In her last three days of life, Marica had difficulty taking deep breaths, and the slightest physical effort exhausted her. The cancer had apparently taken over much of her lungs. At about 2pm of July 12, she was trying to get up on her walker from her chair � unassisted, as she always insisted � when the effort induced cardiac arrest. The doctors at the emergency clinic tried to revive her with CPR, electric shock and other stimulants, but Marica had apparently decided that she was not going to allow herself to be subjected to the pains and indignities of chemotherapy and chose instead to defeat it by dying. Dear Marica, we your family and your many friends rejoice that you have conquered the physical pain that you tried so hard to avoid. We are happy that you are now at rest and in peace in a painless universe, even if the ache that we feel from your physical absence has created a void in our own existence. We thank you for having enriched our lives with your instinctive kindness, your gentle grace, your infinite capacity to show thoughtfulness and love to others. We love you, Marica, and we miss you. Until we embrace each other again in the next life, farewell. ***** OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO |
| Reactions to �Marica� To the Family and Relatives of the Late MRS. MARICA ABAYA thru Mr. Antonio C. Abaya 35 Hamburg Street Merville, Paranaque City Dear Friends, We and our children/grandchildren convey our sincere condolences on the passing away of your beloved MARICA. May you receive consolation from the fact that she not only lived a full and meaningful life, but also did her substantial share in the service of God, country and people. We hope that your sorrows will be assuaged by the thought that her soul now rests in the loving hands of the Almighty, our Lord and Savior, who will shower upon you His blessings and provide comfort during your days of bereavement. We join you in prayers for the eternal repose of her soul. (Sgd) Fidel V. Ramos and Ming July 21, 2006 (By messenger) wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, friend and intellectual model, I just read your article on Marica, our dear departed friend, and I would like to tell you that tears of sorrow welled in my eyes. Her gracious style, basic goodness, and thoughtfulness, her making those around her feel the peace and harmony her presence induces, all these will not be forgotten. We shall continue to keep praying that her soul goes to the Divine Master as His will be done. Please keep strong as you have loved her loyally and continue to love her as she joins her Maker. We shall see you one of these day when you are good and ready for some patriotic advise on the present situation. Your friend, Jun (Magsaysay), [email protected], Philippine Senate, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, Please accept my sincere condolences on the passing of your wife. Jamby (Madrigal), Philippine Senate, July 26, 2006 (By messenger) wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Mr. Abaya, As a regular reader of your column, I was very saddened to read about the death of your wife, Marica, due to lung cancer. Unfortunately, I was unable to write you sooner since I was out of the Netherlands for two weeks. Through this letter, I wish to convey to you my sincerest condolences at such a great loss. I truly pray for you and your family�s increased courage and strength during this difficult time. In the �painless universe� (as you termed it in your article) where your wife is now, I join you and your loved ones in praying for the eternal repose of her soul. Sincerely, Romeo A. Arguelles, Philippine Ambassador to the Netherlands The Hague, The Netherlands, August 01, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Marica, We think of you and we pray for you everyday. These things � this pain and discomfort � happen only to the brave. Thank you for your friendship and I thank the Good Lord for giving me the chance to love you and your family. Always with love, Norma B. Regidor, South San Francisco, California, July 07, 2006. (By postal mail.) wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Marica and Tony, Our prayers have been offered especially for Marica. When I saw Marica at the hospital, she told me it was for a check-up. It's good to know when something is not alright. Mine was stage two since 1998.So with fervent prayers that Marica can respond very well to her treatments. Carmita and I were together at a luncheon and that's where my information came from. Rey joins me in sending you our warmest best. Sylvia and Rey (Alejandro), [email protected], July 12, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Tony We are deeply saddened by Marica's passing. Please accept our most sincere condolences. We shall always remember what a wonderful Lady she was. We will miss her. Dominic & Marisa Tambuatco, [email protected], Macon, Georgia, July 12, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony I am very sorry to hear of the passing of your wife Marica. Please accept my condolences. My wife Kathy and she were very close friends. Nonoy Yulo, [email protected], July 13, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, We are very shocked and saddened to hear about your wife Marica's sudden death. Our heartfelt condolences to you and to your family. If there is anything that we can do, we hope that you will call upon us. Nena and Ken Wright, [email protected], July 13, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww My deepest condolences to you on the loss of your spouse. I was told by Cheding Arroyo. I met you during dinner at their house. I was asked to say mass on Saturday evening. That will give me a chance to express my condolences in person. With my prayers, Fr. John Cordero, MMHC, [email protected], July 13, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Chitong, Words cannot take away the pain of the death of Marica...but words will express what a wonderful woman Marica was during her life time. Marica and I always genuinely liked each other. We would not see each other often but when we did, our conversations would always be very satisfying because we would be both interested in what we were talking about. I remember how I would go in Erehwon to select Betamax tapes. She would always be very helpful and because she knew her products, I would get more tapes than I could afford. When you were carrying the crystal lines...she and I would go through each piece...and again I would buy more than I intended to purchase. She also knew the books that you were selling. If she did not know a certain title, then she would say, "You will have to ask Chitong, he is the one who selects the books." When we were together in the United States, she encouraged me to go to her exhibits where she worked awfully hard promoting the baskets of Vicky Aguinaldo. She was not afraid to work and when she did, she did it well. She did it quietly and effectively. I loved her quiet elegance. She wore small jewelry pieces that were so beautiful because she wore them with confidence and self-assurance. There was no pretense in her wearing what she had chosen for herself. I loved her very much and I shed some tears because a friend has been called by our Lord before me. She leaves a void in our lives. I will not be able to go to the wake, Chitong. My doctor has advised me not to go to wakes because there are too many people in the wake. My immune system is very low and I readily pick up a virus. I was at the wake of my sister-in-law, Fanny Aldaba Lim, and after we buried her I was in the hospital for two weeks because I had a bad case of pneumonia and acute asthma. But even if I don't go to the wake, Chitong, I want to give you my condolences and to let you know how much I understand the void that you must now feel. Please give my condolences to Ho Chi, Carla and Gina. With much love, Laling Lim, [email protected], July 13, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Fel and Tony, My condolences! I was saddened to hear of her sudden demise, but I am very sure Marica must now be happy in the bosom of our heavenly Father. With affection and prayers, Meldy (Cojuangco), July 14, 2006. (By messenger) wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, It is with deepest sadness and shock to learn from Fil of Marica's demise from cancer. She looked fine when we were there last year. We share your grief and may you have courage to go through your sorrow. Ralph, Mafe, Ginny, Christine and Ed Ralph Romero, [email protected], Houston, Texas, July 15, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, It was with shock and great sadness that I learned about Marica from Gigi this morning. I have always been very fond of Marica and during the times we were together here, her fun-loving spirit made our times together very enjoyable. You and your family will be in our hearts and prayers. Much love, Cayo & Fred Marschner, [email protected], Moraga, California, July 15, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, It was sad to receive the news of the passing away of Marica. Please accept our sincere expressions of sympathy. She will be in our Mass and prayers for the eternal rest of her soul. You will be in our prayers, so that you may find the strength in the days that follow. A strong hug with affection, Jaime y Ana Mari Jaime Calero, [email protected], Sydney, Australia, July 15, 2006 wewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, I just returned from Europe when I heard about the untimely demise of your beloved wife. Please accept my heartfelt condolence! Walter Bucher, [email protected], July 15, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony and family, We shall continue to remember the ever-gracious, smiling and kind friend that Marica was, to you, her family and friends. We pray for her repose as she is lifted to eternal good life to join the Divine Maker who loves us all. Marilu and Jun Magsaysay, July 15, 2006. (By hand) wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, Kindly accept my profound condolence and sympathy. While I had neither spoken to you and Marica over the recent years, I have always remembered with pleasure the warm welcome I received at your Erehwon Bookshop when I had on a few occasions spoken to her, the articles on various subjects that you had published, and, not the least, the appreciation you had written of when you visited our Museum in Cavite at Gateway Business Park. I was prepared to see you today at Mass at the Santuario, but a sudden cold and sore throat had overtaken me last night and I decided to stay put and not risk passing on my ailment to others. In the meantime, let me assure you of my prayers and shared grief over your loss. Warm regards, Gene (de los Reyes), July 15, 2006. (By messenger.) wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Hello Tony, Jaime Calero informed us about the sad news of Marica's demise. We join you in your bereavement and will remember her in our Sunday Mass. Your friends as always, Nena & Ernie Peralta, [email protected], Queensland, Australia, July 15, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony: I was told of your wife Marica�s passing. Please accept our deepest sympathies. Much as I would have wanted to visit the wake, I�m afraid my asthma condition prevents me from doing so. I went to the wake of my business partner�s father-in-law some three years back and I did not last 5 minutes inside the chapel. I felt like choking, sign of a sudden severe asthma attack. It was induced by the powerful smell of flowers. I barely made it to our car, some 20 steps away. Mey and I will have Holy Masses offered for Marica�s intentions. Take care, Billy and Mey Esposo, [email protected], July 16, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, Please accept my condolences for the loss of your wife, Marica. I wish I could offer them in person but I�m months away from my next visit, and news of this kind reaches me days, even months late. I hope that after a period of mourning you return to the service you have been steadfastly providing your readers---giving voice to reason and reasonability in the important issues of our times. Eddie Lachica, [email protected], Washington, DC, July 17, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Mr Abaya, Unfortunately, I have not been able to reach your daughter directly via email. I am Gina's room mate from Berkeley - could I kindly ask you to pass the message below on to her? Please accept my condolences! I have been very sorry to hear these sad news. My thoughts and prayers are with your family in these difficult times. Best regards, Micky, [email protected], Munich, Germany, July 18, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Mang Tony, Taos puso naming pakikiramay sa inyo. Nono Pilapil, [email protected], July 17, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I am ever so sorry for your loss. My deepest felt condolence to your family and you. My God give you strength. Fabio Scarpello, [email protected], Bali, Indonesia, July 18, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Mr. Abaya, Nakikiramay po sa inyong pamilya sa pagpanaw ng inyong kabiyak. Regards, Ding dela Cruz, [email protected], July 18, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww PLEASE ACCEPT OUR DEEPEST CONDOLENCES ON YOUR BEREAVEMENT. MY FAMILY AND I WILL BE PRAYING FOR THE SOUL OF YOUR DEAREST DEPARTED WIFE THAT SHE MAY REST IN PEACE. Antonio Evangelista, [email protected], July 18, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww My dear Tony, Please accept my sincere condolences over the departure from this life of your wife, Marica. Although I have never made the personal acquaintance of either of you, your sensitive and quality obit confirmed to me that behind every good man is an exceptional woman. Today, I looked at my own Filipina wife and realized that I do not show my appreciation for the quiet support she always provides, and I should � because life is too short � and tomorrow may be too late. May the grief of loss pass quickly for you and your family, and may you continue to make all efforts to leave this country a better place before you do join her. With greatest respect, Alan C. Atkins, [email protected], July 18, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Mr. Abaya, My deepest condolences to you and your family. I learned of your wife's passing through your online column which was linked by Manolo Quezon's weblog. She does sound like a remarkable human being with that admirable quality of stoicism. I'm sure she will be touched by your send-off. Regards, Carlos Jugo, [email protected], July 18, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, I�ve just read your article and learned that your wife passed away. Please accept my most sincere condolences and sympathies for you and your family. Anna de Brux, [email protected], Belgium, July 18, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, You asked me for a copy of what I read last night following the end of our STC Mass for Marica. Tita de Villa said she was going to send you a copy of our souvenir program where your tribute to Marica was published. I shall remind her to do so. In that case, I don't need to type here what you had written there. All I said by way of introduction was: "I leave it to our class valedictorian, Ambassador Tita de Villa, to speak about Marica on behalf of our class. The greatest tribute any woman can hope to have would be the appreciation and praise of her husband. I'd like to read what Tony wrote of Marica for our souvenir program in commemoration of the golden jubilee of our high school class of 1955, in February 2005." This Atenean, who may or may not be a typical Atenean, has been married for the past 37 years to Marica, a Theresian who may or may not be a typical Theresian. Generalizations are not really helpful, but particularizations are when appreciating the worth of individual lives interacting with each other. For the femininity and grace, the patience and the forbearance, the care and the loving, thank you, Marica, and the school that imbued you with these. They don�t make them like you in the Ateneo Take care of yourself, Tony. The world does not stop for our pain and sorrow, but for the moment, go ahead and grieve. You have a right to do so...and when there are no more tears, shake off the heaviness, the fear of tomorrow alone, the loneliness, and move on. The void will never disappear. You will learn to live with it. I too had 37 years with a nurturing and caring spouse. It was all so sudden--aneurysm of the brain. That was 7 years ago. My experience led to a book that I edited, "From This Day Forward: Widows and Widowers Write" (Anvil 2002), an anthology of essays on widowhood, which won the Manila Critics Circle's National Book Award for "Best Anthology" for the year 2002. I contributed my own essay apart from writing a Preface and an Introduction. Continue to write, for that is your metier. Writing will be your path to healing Take care. God bless you. Linda Panlilio, [email protected], July 19, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Mr. Abaya, Having read your posts for quite sometime, I feel that I have known part of you already. Please accept my sincerest condolences on your loss. I pray that God will give you and your family the strength and wisdom to overcome this great loss. Prayerfully yours, Jojo Vicencio, [email protected], July 19, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Mr. Abaya, Please accept my deep sympathy and condolence for the untimely passing of your wife. Rog Tengco, [email protected], Palo Alto, California, July 19, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, My heartfelt condolences to you and your family on the passing of your wife. I did not know her but thank you - as an articulate communicator - for sharing with your internet buddies your feelings and description of what must have been a very awful experience for you and your children. Sharing is, of course, a form of grieving. Should you surface in Makati anytime, would enjoy a lunch with you. My office is at Corinthian Plaza �. John Forbes, [email protected], American Chamber of Commerce, July 20,.2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww My condolences. May your wife have eternal peace. Jose B. Viado, [email protected], July 20, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I would like to extend my heartfelt condolence on the loss of your wife. I was deeply moved by your article about her passing away. Your article today, about one brave man, could well have described you. I must say that I greatly admire your courage in the face of your enormous grief. Despite your attempts not to be lacrimose and sentimental, your profound love and appreciation for your wife was very evident. Juan Deiparine, [email protected], Toril, Davao City, July 20, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww My condolences, Mr. Abaya. It is always difficult for those of us who have been left behind. M. G. Espaldon, [email protected], July 19, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Mr. Abaya, Our deepest condolences to you and your family. We will keep you all in our prayers. Hecky and Tammy Villanueva Hector A. Villanueva, [email protected], July 20, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Please accept our deepest condolences. May the soul of Marica rest in peace and may the Perpetual Light shine upon her. God bless. We will include Marica's soul and the bereaved family in our daily prayesr for nine days. Gil Mateo, [email protected], July 19, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, Last Sunday, about noontime, I got a call from Fely that Marica had passed away. I really felt sad, Tony. She looked so well the last time we were with Fely for dinner. Maybe you do not know it, but in our younger days, Marica and I were dancing partners in the parties we went to. She was an excellent and very graceful dancer on the dance floor. I learned of her demise last Sunday, and with my desire to go to be with all of you, I couldn�t, for not having my driver around. As Fely knows, I am having my eye problem for four years now because of an accident. I can�t drive well because of it. Last Monday night in my TV program, �Dial M� with Maggie de la Riva, I dedicated part of the show on Marica and condoled with you and your children, and the Abaya family. I read your column on her which she most deserves. Manoling Morato, [email protected], July 20, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Tony, please accept our deepest condolences. I have also suffered a similar loss, now 25 years ago, but I still feel the loss. I hope you will find the strength to live through it. Vic Lim, [email protected], Asian Institute of Management, July 20, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Sir, I felt sorry for the untimely demise of your beloved wife. Condolences to you and all whom she left behind. Jun Valenzuela, [email protected], Naga City, July 20, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, I read your column about Marica and I also saw the notice about her passing away. May I offer my heartfelt condolences to you and your family. I knew Marica when I was still working with the FGU Insurance Corporation and she was one of our agents. I remember her as tall, regal and always well dressed and coiffed when she went to our offices. I was the Head of the Accounting Dept. and she picked up her check in payment of commissions from our unit. Always very polite and formal, unlike most of our agents who were quite condescending to us poor accountants. Condolences again and may you be comforted with the thought that she is now with her Creator in heaven. Herminia S. Jacinto, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, From Fil I learned that Marica had passed away. I am so saddened to learn of Marica�s death. We have to accept that�s the way things are, we get older by every day and one day comes the moment when we have to give room for the younger generation. But even if it hurts when loved ones pass away, we can find some consolation by knowing that we part only from the mortal remains while the love and the mementos for Marica remain alive in our hearts. My thoughts are with you in this time of leave-taking and mourning for Marica. May she rest in peace. Warmest embraces Richard Baumann, [email protected], Weidenfeld, Switzerland, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Condolence. Jose Custodio, [email protected], July 20, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Kuya Tony, please accept my deepest sympathy. Bong Sempio, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, What a sweet farewell to Marica! Although it was quite a shock to hear of her passing. Robert and I join you in your loss and sense of grief. Marica has just gone ahead of all of us to our Father's house, where we will all meet someday with great rejoicing. We will remember her in our prayers. Linda and Robert J. Little, Jr. Rancho Palos Verdes, California, July 21, 2006 (Linda Nietes), [email protected] wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww My deepest condolences. Enstino. [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, Thank you for sharing your eulogy for Marica, which touched by its very restraint and simplicity. I wanted to write you but was unable to before receiving your email because I realize that no words, however well-chosen and crafted, could possibly ease the pain of such a loss. But please know that the gesture is the wish and the prayer. Marica was truly a gentle and kind LADY. Most sincerely, Mert Loinaz, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Hi Tony, My condolences. I will keep Marica in my prayers. God bless, Teresa Taningco, [email protected], Santa Monica, California, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, My deepest condolence on the death of your beloved wife Marica. I can truly sympathize with you because I too have a wife whom I love so much. I just wish that God will spare me this kind of agony by taking me ahead of her. We are both still of good health but we will never know God's plan. We wish you better things yet to come. We will include in our prayers the soul of Marica. May she find peace forever in God's domain. Dodi & Imelda Canete, [email protected], Davao City, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww FROM MY PART OF THE WORLD, A MASS FOR HER. Norberto Castillo, [email protected], Rome, Italy, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony: Please accept my sincere and heartfelt condolence, and that of my wife Corazon, on the passing of your beloved and courageous wife Marica. The way you put it, she must indeed have been a wonderful human being. Mar Patalinjug, [email protected], Riverview, Florida, July 20, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww To Marica�s family, I�m so sorry to hear about your loss. Marica is now in peace and out of pain. She�s in good hands. My prayers for her and her family. I know that we all die but it�s so painful to have loved ones leave us. Only God knows what�s in store for us. As we know, He gave us our life and He gets it back from us in His time. Make the most of our time, to love and to serve while we can. God bless Genny Ferrer, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, My deepest condolence. Frank Jimenez,, [email protected], West Orange, New Jersey, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony: Losing a loved one is truly painful to us mortals. I console with you. Please accept my condolences. Jun Policarpio, [email protected], New York City, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I am saddened to learn of your beloved wife's passing. True, we don't know each other on a personal level, but through our mutual friend Joe Alejandro I feel as if I've known you for a long time. It is with sincerity that I offer my condolences to you and your children, on behalf of my family. We feel your loss, but we should be somewhat thankful that Marica is now resting peacefully on God's bosom: no more pain; no more worries. Being in the presence of the Lord is her reward. I am sure she is very happy where she is. Even as we pray for her here on earth, so shall she pray for your family. God bless. Rome Farol, [email protected], Highlands Ranch, Colorado, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Tony: Please accept our deepest sympathy amid your grief. Condolences to the rest of the family. Manny Valdehuesa, [email protected], Cagayan de Oro City, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Abaya-san; My sincerest condolence for this sad news. I know you will miss her. It is like seeing off someone truly loved who will be off for a long, long time. But please don't despair because there is indeed life hereafter. And someday, we shall all be resurrected and have a body again, more spiritual I guess, though. If God has meant that you be together again, I know you will find each other again someday. "And we know that the Son of God is come, and hath given us an understanding, that we may know him that is true, and we are in him that is true, even in his Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God, and eternal life. " ( 1 Jn. 5: 20 ) Yuko Takei, [email protected], Tokyo, Japan, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Mr. Abaya, Please accept my respectful admiration for the way you wrote about your Marica, as it was full of love and yet without odious sentimentality. Generally, I refuse to say "...condolence" because such grief is so private that saying so would be like a violation of the bereaved. Still, I feel sure that I know exactly how you feel as I, too, had lost a dearly loved one. And I wondered at the time how it was possible that I died too and yet continued breathing. Rosalinda Olsen, Norway, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, This is just a word to let you know of my heartfelt sympathy. Vic de Jesus, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww DEAR TONY, I HAVE JUST READ YOUR COLUMN. MY CONDOLENCE AND SYMPATHIES! I DID NOT KNOW ANYTHING AT ALL. INDEED "GOD GIVETH, GOD TAKETH! PLEASE ANY TIME YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME FOR BREAKFAST OR LUNCH MERIENDA WHATEVER AT POLO CLUB, PLEASE RING ME UP. MY PLEASURE TO SHARE SOME TIME WITH YOU. I WILL NOT MAKE THIS LONG. BUT PLEASE, AT YOUR CONVENIENCE AND PLEASURE, DO COME AND JOIN ME, FOR SOME CHIT CHAT ANY TIME! GOD BLESS. TONY OPOSA, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony: We are sorry to read about Marica. We join you in wishing her "Ave atque vale!" Victor S. Barrios, [email protected], San Francisco, California, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww My condolence Mang Tony. To all the living, death will come too to us someday. Mortz Ortigoza, [email protected], Dagupan City, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, Laling sadly notified me a week ago of Marica's death. I was numbed by the news, unbelieving, rejecting that it could ever happen to our Marica, one of the kindest and most lovable people of that "golden" group of ours who embraced me and brought into my life so much richness, happiness and the wonder of the times and of each other. Your eulogy to Marica, which arrived today, made me weep. It was eloquent. Moving. Rich. It was filled with your heart. It was, indeed, very Tony. No one else could write what you did. Beneath those words, those phrases and details, swimming in other currents, were deeper feelings, and more painful still, I suspect. How does one say goodbye to one's companion through life, to his lover, to the woman who bears his children, to someone he built life with and shared its joys, its laughter and its hardships? I am filled with such overwhelming sorrow. Marica's passing is part of my life, too. The fun of being together --- the easy banter, the delicious gossiping, weaving through more serious topics of life, a secret glance of connection on some talking point that the others present were not privy to or did not catch, exploring in anticipation of adopting a "fashion must" in health perhaps, or nutrition, or some new exercise fad that would keep our aging in check. I remember her handicraft business days here in the States, dropping by the apartment on Sloat, her well organized and successful effort to gather the ladies for me at home for an IN OUR FIFTIES book presentation and her ongoing support and encouragement wherever. A wedding with butterflies in recent times. You and she running that so needed Erehwon Bookshop way back in the beginning "under the palm trees." Dinners with the Abaya clan and the get togethers of laughter and stories with our Golden Oldies. So many special moments and places and happenings that wove our lives together. When we were young and ever after... But today, and all the days since her death, somehow our world seems so diminished. "But it's all still there in my heart and soul. The walk, the hills, the sky, the solitary pain and pleasure --- they will grow larger, sweeter, lovelier in the days and years to come, like a treasure found and then voluntarily surrendered. Returned to the mountains with my blessing. It leaves a golden glowing on the mind. --- Edward Abbey, BEYOND THE WALL With love to all of you, Alan Klaum, [email protected], San Francisco, California, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Sir A.Abaya, Tanggapin mo ang aking tapat na pakikiramay. Yep, that's the reality of life that we all need to accept. Every beginning has an end, just a matter of how, when or where. And each life has a purpose too. Marica has served hers, you are still serving yours and me mine. Good luck to both of us! Ador Ramoso, [email protected], Atlanta Georgia, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Tony: Please accept our condolences on your loss. Marica is now with Our Father, who takes us all beside Him in His time to give us the happiness He has promised. Tito Osias, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, My family and I greatly empathize with the loss of the greatest person in your life and those of your grown children. I've never met you personally but your very sincere narration of the last few weeks in the life of your wife Marica is very moving and practically honest. It reflects the way you've always written down-to-earth topics with what's going on in the Philippines and the world. Marica was very fortunate to have died prepared and happy after attaining her goals in life. After some badly needed respite in order to "charge your battery", so to speak, please continue with your well read column with the Manila Standard Today for your so many avid readers of the Philippines and the world. With kind regards, Conrad G. Javier, MD, [email protected], Hunting Valley, Ohio, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, So sorry to learn about the sad news. My condolences. Lito Banayo, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww My deep sympathy and sorrow for you and your family. Sounds like Marica was a very special person. Gloria Lilly, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Tony, The very moment I read this sad report of yours (2:40 p.m. Daly City time, July 20, 2006) I offered a prayer of thanks for the Lord's having relieved Marica of her pain in this earth and to accept her in His bosom in the next life. Also to give you courage for you are going on with your life with the children without her from hereon in. I know I feel your pain Tony and especially knowing that once upon a time I used to behold Marica�s porcelain features, yes, the vivid and fond memory of her beautiful face providing radiance at your EREHWON BOOKSHOP at Padre Faura and then at Makati where you had moved the store...and later. I also feel that we, your friends all have our own respective spouses yes, our own Maricas, lovely, dedicated, strong, and who someday will have to face the inevitable that all of us have to face. Reflecting on this, I too am teary-eyed. Kindly share with me any obituary or eulogy in the services, if possible, Tony. My heartfelt condolence to you, with Chita and the children joining me in offering it. Tony Joaquin, [email protected], Daly City, California, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, We are rather devastated to hear of Marica's untimely passing. Mike and I , and our son Fabrizio with wife Anna, send you our very deepest sympathy . We send you also our love and prayers for Marica and all those she left behind, especially you and the children. Your writings are super. Thank you for sharing. Be strong ! Warmest... and best... Techie Y. Bilbao, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Tony, On behalf of my family, please accept my condolences. I am familiar with your ordeal, having lost my mom, my uncles and aunts and now my cousins from cancer. It is not because of smoking. We just have it in our genes. I have two cousins now who are battling the disease as I write this. I just hope I have my dad's genes. That part of the family is cancer free. May God give you the same strength He gave her. You will be in our prayers. Lino Ongteco, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww This is a most thoughtful and loving piece of literature. This could only be crafted by you, someone deeply in love. I offered prayers .She is now enjoying the love and peace she rightfully deserves. Best regards, Cesar Sarino, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww To: Mr. Abaya and Family I shed a tear or two for you and your family... I am touched by this beautiful eulogy for your loving wife... Condolonces from a husband of another great woman and a father of a daughter and a son. Like you, I also write a column, in the Philippine STAR, "A Voice from America", as I have been living in Southern. California. for the last 30 plus years.. May your wife Marica rest in Peace. And more power to you in your writings! Ernie Delfin, [email protected], Southern California, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, What a loving and beautiful tribute to your wife. We've been so focused on your brilliant analyses of what's going on in the Philippines, we never gave a thought to your family. Thanks for sharing your life and sadness with us. Joining with you and your family in your grief, Angie Collas-Dean, [email protected], Eugene, Oregon, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Hi Tony, This email is sincerely deeply touching. I am sure that there are no words that can explain the suffering you and your family are going through. We, as Christians, have been taught that death is just the beginning of another wonderful life, and something that will bring us ever closer to our Creator. Thank you so much for sharing you experience, let alone Marica's, with us. My wife is not a heavy smoker, but she is a daily smoker and she has been for a while now. She's complained about certain aches recently, and I guess since she's only in her early 40s, the usual reaction is that you just have to exercise (although she does use the treadmill at least twice a week). But having read your letter, we will see a doctor immediately. I guess there's no better wakeup call than someone else's experience. Again, thank you very much, Tony. Please accept our most sincere and warmest condolences. God bless... Joey Jimenez Reyes, [email protected], Sydney, Australia, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Antonio, Thank you for sharing with us your article. To you and everyone in the family we extend our heartfelt condolences Sincerely, Reynaldo and Yasue Gonzales, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Beautiful. Perry Gamsby, [email protected], Cebu City, July 21, 2006 Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww On behalf of my family, we offer our sincerest condolences ... "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the Shadow of the Almighty" Psalm 91:1 Vonne Villanueva, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww My condolences to you and your family. We will be praying for her and your family. Chatty Francisco, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I am so sorry about your loss. This article brought tears to my eyes. I hope you take comfort in the FACT that she has just moved to another life. God bless you and your family. Grace Abella-Zata, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Tony: I met your loving Marica only once ~ before you were married, I think ~ at the original Erehwon Bookshop in Padre Faura. My family will say a prayer for Marica who, I'm certain, is now happy in Heaven. Take care of yourself. I'm here if you need me. Jimmy Pimentel, [email protected], Sydney, Australia, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Tony, please accept my sincere sympathy for your loss. I've met Marica, but I would have wanted to know the gentle person that she was better. After reading this touching piece, I immediately said a prayer for her eternal repose. Best, Yett Montalvan, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww My condolences. Mike Delgado, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Condolences. Peter Capotosto, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony: You are blessed and so is Marica. She was prepared and you and the family partially prepared (you can never be 100% prepared for this kind of a situation, I guess). At least you know she went prepared and that she is now at peace. May she Rest in Peace and I will say a little prayer for her and you and your family. I write you this letter because my brother is going through the same situation today and your letter gives me some idea and courage as to how I can help him and his family until the final day....about two months.....for the stage 4. THANK YOU! More power to you, Tony. God Bless You and your family. Ed Isidro, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Mr. Abaya: Nakikiramay po ako at ang aking pamilya sa pagpanaw ng iyong mahal sa buhay. May she rest in peace, and may you get back soon to your full recovery from mourning. Jess Guim and family, [email protected], New York City, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Mr Abaya, I am a great fan. I cried a lot when I read this one. You may never know me but my heart cried out for you, I know the feelings! I have said a prayer for your strength and I know you can. You know where she is now! God bless you, Sonia Sue Laluna, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Mr Abaya, Our deepest condolences to you and your family's great loss. It is so difficult to experience a great loss in the family, specially someone who has shared your life for so long. But the good side of all this is that Ms Marica is now with God and your family has an angel in heaven. Again, we are with you in prayer in your time of sorrow. Jose Genato, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, My condolences to you and your family. I share with you the sadness of a loss so real. My prayers are with you. Take care. Mary Ann O�Connor, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Hi Tony, Please accept my deepest sympathies. I was moved to tears (at work) by your letter which brought back the memory of the loss of my dear Ninang to pancreatic cancer back in 2003. I don't know if it is the actual loss or if it is the months of standing by in utter helplessness that accounts for most of the pain. Sincerely, benigno P, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Mr. Abaya, I am Freddie Luchico, Jr. I have been receiving your articles for sometime now. Thank you so much. I would say that I am a "passive reader" at the moment for I stop writing newspapers and opinion makers for sometime also. I read your special article for your wonderful wife MARICA earlier and you made me cry. It reminded me of my late mother who had the same traits and characteristics that you described of your wife. My late mother was also an epitome of emotional strength who sacrificed for us five children for us to finish our studies and be what we are now. This is also true with my petitie (4,11") wife who up today, thanks to GOD ALMIGHTY, is providing me and my five children the vital things in life. Yes, we husbands must admire and appreciate the strengths and courage of our wives specially during trying moments in life. Mr. Abaya, MARICA will continue seeing to your well-being even if she is with the Almighty. She was humankind's treasure. GOD BLESS YOU and your family. Federico Luchico, Jr., [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww My sincerest condolence on the death of your dear wife. I shall remember her and her loved ones in my Masses. Fr. Joaquin G. Bernas, SJ. [email protected], Ateneo de Manila University, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Mr. Abaya, Please accept my deep sympathy and condolence for the passing of your wife. Sincerely, Auggie Surtida, [email protected], Tigbauan, Iloilo, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your loving wife to cancer. My deepest sympathy goes to you personally and to your family as well. Death brings tears to friends and families but provides eternal peace to the departed. Please remain strong as all of us would take that road to meet our own Creator. Dr. Nestor P. Baylan, [email protected], New York City, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww DEAR TONY, WE SHARE AND FEEL THE PAIN AT THE DEATH OF MARICA. IT IS DEVASTATING TO LOSE SOMEONE WHO MAKES UP THE OTHER HALF OF ONE�S SELF.. WE REMEMBER HER FROM THE DINNERS WE USED TO HAVE AT THE MONTINOLA HOUSE. WE ALWAYS LOOKED FORWARD TO SEEING HER AT THOSE DINNERS..SHE WAS A LOVELY PERSON. OUR LOVE AND PRAYERS GO TO YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN. FONDLY, MARIE AND ERNIE (ABOITIZ), [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Tony, My sincere condolences and prayers. This is a beautiful piece written for the woman who truly deserved it. Antonio J. Montalvan II, PhD, [email protected] Capitol University, Cagayan de Oro City, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, What a beautiful tribute to Marica! I'm sure she appreciates it! I'm now doing my annual 4-months "sabbatical" in West Virginia, and from this other side of the world, I send you my condolences. We are now at that age when we have many friends and relatives going to happy hunting grounds, and knowing that this is natural and normal doesn't make it any easier to accept. And losing one's spouse is one of the more difficult ones. I only hope that you have enough children and grandkids around you to help ease the loss. Two days ago I visited a friend in a nursing home. She wants to go home, but her husband cannot take care of her because he's not in good shape either. I know what life is like in nursing home; my mother-in-law spent many years there too. It's one of the many things we Filipinos can be grateful for. Know that you have many friends from all over the world condoling with you. .. Lolita Delgado Fansler, West Virginia, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww DEAR MR ABAYA, PLEASE ACCEPT MY PRAYERS AND CONDOLENCES ON YOUR LOSS. IN THEIR OWN RIGHT, GENTLE SOULS OF THE WORLD, LIKE YOUR DEAREST MARICA, DID MAKE THIS WORLD A LITTLE BETTER, TRUE? FOR YOU, YOUR FAMILY AND THE MANY FRIENDS MARICA LEFT BEHIND, SHE MUST HAVE BEEN A GEM AMONG JEWELS. MAY HER MEMORY REMAIN WITH YOU FOREVER. GOD BLESS,. Ed Valenciano, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Mr. Abaya, You don't know me, but I regularly receive your articles. I share your grief over the loss of your beloved Marica. I pray that before she died, she had a reconciliation with God and that she has now been accepted into His presence. Please accept my condolences and prayers for you. Rene Valdes, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Hi Tony, My sincerest condolence. I will always remember Marica at Erehwon .. always helpful when I I'd go in looking for books. Roger Olivares, [email protected]. Atlanta, Georgia, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Mr. Abaya, Our deepest sympathies to you and your bereaved family. Distance is never a reason to stop loving any one. Her presence continues in your children. Sincerely, Sal Teleg, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Mr.Abaya, My sympathies for the loss of your dear wife. You have written a powerful and moving text that has touched my heart. Thank you for that. Sincerely, Dr. Ronald Meinardus, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony:: I know nothing I say can ease the pain of your loss, but please know that you have my deepest sympathies. I will offer a prayer for Marica and for you that you may be comforted in this time of grief. Condolences, Rene B. Azurin, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony: My wife (Tita, who also used to frequent your Erehwon of yesteryears) and I extend to you and your family our deepest condolence on the passing away of Marica. We pray for the eternal repose of her soul. May she rest in peace. Glicerio and Ma. Teresa Martinez-Sicat,, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony: We are most grateful to you for sharing the notes and details of Marica. Her personality came up alive as we read about her. We suffered thinking of you. We are sure that she is now at rest. A hug with affection, Jaime y Ana Mari Calero, [email protected], Sydney, Australia, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony: Condolences from us, including the readers of the Bayanihan News. We mourn with you and your family the death of your brave and gentle wife. Renato Perdon, [email protected], Bayanihan News, Sydney, Australia, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony: My sincerest condolences on the death of your wife, Marica. I had an aunt who died of lung cancer, too, but she never smoked; she got her nicotine second-hand. I guess that when we gotta go, the Lord will provide us with the most appropriate vehicle of His choosing. Grieve not, for life is just something which we all have to go through before experiencing a more permanent and hopefully blissful existence after death. Your wife only precedes us all. Herminigildo Gutierrez, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Mr. Abaya: My sincere and profound condolences to you and all the members of your family for the loss of a loved one together with my fervent prayers that may the departed rest in God's peace. Yours, Ramon A. Mayuga, [email protected], Essen, Germany, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tukayo: Angelita and I thank you for sharing your beloved Marica's story with us. Her life and beautiful character have enriched us at this stage of our own life. Thanks, many thanks. Tony I. Ledesma and Angelita Yap Ledesma, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Tony: Our condolences to you and the family. Your email today is the first we knew of Marica's passing. It was back in Erehwon days that Linda and I met her. Your article is truly a touching tribute to Marica's strong spirit during her illness. Our heart goes out to you and family during this difficult period. With sincere and kind regards, Jack and Linda Sherman, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony: It was once written, "When a woman loses a man, she picks up the pieces of her life and starts again. But when a man loses a woman, he dies in half". I wish you enough inspiration in life and in writing to keep on going. God Bless, Vitti Valenzuela, [email protected], July 21,, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Condolences, sir.. This is very sparkling for a bereaving husband to write. God is embracing you now. Joseph Gannaban, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Antony, I was very sorry to hear of the death of your wife, Marica. Although we never met, your account of her life touched me deeply. Please accept my sincerest condolences. Yours truly, James Rice, [email protected], Lingnan Univrsity, Hong Kong, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww You and your family are in my prayers. My sincere condolences. Cristina Hidalgo-Loris, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww However late, I would like to extend to you my deepest sympathy and my condolences for the untimely demise of your loveable wife Marica. I am very certain that wherever she is right now, she is happy because she's now in the loving embrace of our Lord and she can no longer feel those pains the pain that made her once physically unstable. Prime Delta, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww My family and I express our condolence. Your loss, I am sure, is heaven's gain. Niel Narca, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Hi Tony, My condolences and prayers to you and your family. I know how painful it is to lose someone, having lost both my father and my mother - and I share your grief and am amazed at your ability to write. I could not even write a sentence when my father passed away in 1985, and my mom most recently this past New Year's Eve. Be well and God bless, Art Montesa, [email protected], Seaford, New York, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Don Antonio: Please accept our sympathies and condolences on the passing of your beloved MARICA. Roger Lopez Madrigal and family, [email protected], July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, Your piece was so touching, it conveyed so well your great loss. Please accept my deepest condolences. Most important for the sake of the general public, I hope you fully recover from the tragic circumstance and continue enlightening us all. Robert Paradies, [email protected], San Francisco, California, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Our deepest sympathy to you and your family, Tony, and fervent prayers for Marica. God bless, Ding & Irene (Roces), [email protected], Sydney, Australia, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony: I wish to extend to you and your family, my family's deepest condolences. You describe your dear wife Marica like you're describing my late wife Lori Anne who, as I've earlier mentioned to you, has yielded her life with same dignity to breast cancer. She's also the kindest and gentlest person to all who've known her, especially us her family. In fact, this is now written on her epitaph. You've also made me recall her angelic face accentuated by her alabaster skin. With more coincidence, we've likewise devised an exercise routine for her to strengthen her against chemotherapy and her illness. Like Marica, she would gamely go through this routine but with complete acceptance of what may have to come in the end. We've both been blessed with having a wonderful person touch our lives profoundly. We now carry our fond memories of them hoping to be worthy of their past company. We can be when we extend the same kindness and gentleness to others as we proceed with our continuing advocacy for God's justice on earth. Best regards, Gico Dayanghirang, [email protected], Davao City, July 21, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Antonio, We have never met but I am one of your avid readers and would like to express my profound sympathy for your wife's death. As we age we think more about our ultimate fate but are never really prepared for it, I believe. My best regards, Jack Gesner, [email protected], Baguio City, July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Tony -- Lydia and I extend to you and your children our sincerest condolences on Marica's passing. "Death is not the extinguishing of life," Rabindranath Tagore wrote. "It is putting out the lamp because dawn has come." Johnny Mercado, Philippine Daily Inquirer, [email protected], July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Mr Abaya, Our deepest condolences. God bless. Sincerely, Lt. Col Dennis and Joji Acop, [email protected], July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dearest Tony I have been sharing this (article) with all my friends. You have been blessed with such a delightful and beautiful wife� Tony. Like you aptly say, yours is the pain of loss, but the consolation and a big consolation is she is no longer in Pain. And yes I and my whole family have her and you in my daily prayers. Looking forward to the DVD that you are producing Jayjay Calero, [email protected], July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww My deepest sympathy. May she rest in peace. She did not die in vain. For sure, she was happy in supporting and seeing you promoting advocacies such as transparency and accountability in government. Mon Mamao, [email protected], July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Mr Abaya -- After reading your moving piece about your wife, I can only guess at your pain. Please accept my condolences for your loss � Isabel Escoda, [email protected], Hong Kong, July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Mr. Abaya, I am sorry to hear of your loss. You don't know me, but for some reason unknown to me, my email was subscribed to your list so I receive your emails like this one regularly. Tony Basa, [email protected], July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony My condolences. I was not aware about Marica who has gone on to a good place. So now my thoughts go to you and your family with the hope that this change will not dampen your spirits. Augusto �Toti� Villalon, [email protected], July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww OH MY GOD, CHITONG, DING AND I NEVER KNEW ABOUT MARICA'S ILLNESS. THANK YOU FOR SHARING WITH US, WE ARE HONOURED. THE BEAUTIFUL MARICA WAS ALWAYS SO DIGNIFIED, SO KIND. SHE'S IN HEAVEN. LOVE, Nita Hontiveros-Lichauco, [email protected], July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, I admire your restrained grief over the loss of Marica. Please accept my sincere condolences. I met Marica (more my contemporary so I know she's in my generation) when I was at Ateneo and right after, running into her in socials and other events. Your description of her fits my recollection of her personality, i.e., a graceful lady with intellectual insight into many things in this world, capable of a cogent observation as well as a rapier-like critique. Indeed she exuded her own beauty, attractive both skin and brain deep. You must have captured her heart when I was studying in the US as I lost track of her. I expect that she fulfilled her maternal duties very well as I have not read her name amongst the social butterflies featured in the dailies. Let us be content in the transit lounge of life, remembering our loved ones and knowing we shall be with them again, sooner rather later. Best regards, Joe Faustino, Asian Institute of Management, [email protected], July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Conolence. Jovito Palo, [email protected], July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, Marica continues to be in my prayers. Will pray for you, too, that your healing may be swift. As time goes by, the pain will become a dull ache. No choice but to live with it. Take care. Best, Linda Panlilio, [email protected], July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Hello, Tony. What can I say... your farewell to Marica is beautiful and appropriate. Since I did not have the pleasure of meeting her, your words are my only basis for saying she really was a stoic, so rare these days. My sympathy and prayers, Rudy Ordonez, [email protected], July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Mr. Tony, My condolences. From an avid reader of your column, Napoleon P. Serrano, [email protected], Dharan, Saudi Arabia, July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Mr. Abaya, Death took away your loved one, and you are in pain. When you can see the light of your life only for one last time, no words can assuage your grief. Even then, let me extend my deepest condolences. Mar Tecson, [email protected], San Miguel, Bulacan, July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, My condolences on your wife's demise. Lilit Cuisia, [email protected], July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony I am truly grieved by the passing of Marica, about which I didn't know until I got your email. I have very fond memories of her associated as they are with that pleasantly exciting and memorable period in the '60s when I frequented your bookstore at Padre Faura and talked about matters and issues which persist to this day. I am convinced however that the dead are always with us even as they have moved on to another dimension and I am just as sure that one day you will get a visit from her, at least in your dreams, as I always do in the case of my loved ones. With my continued esteem, Tony � Alejandro �Ding� Lichauco, [email protected], July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, I totally agree with you that Marica did not deserve the 'cruel ordeal' she had to go through. But if there is anything that she truly deserves...it is the REWARD for her determination to do things 'unassisted'. This was her way of accepting the Splinters of the Cross, for leading a good, full life. And may I also say that you deserve each other. I continue to pray for you...that you may find consolation in the thought that she is now at peace, resting, and NEVER to experience anything but joy and happiness. Sincerely, Millet (Castro), [email protected], July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Condolence! Just read about the agonizing moments of your beloved wife. May she rest peacefully in eternal life and in the Arms of Our Lord in Heaven...Amen. Tony Dalagan, [email protected], Fairfax, Virginia, July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww What a thoughtful tribute to Marica! I learned new things about her through your piece and feel very privileged to have known her, even only briefly. The few times we were together were always bright spots with much laughter. Now, dear Chitong, you take good care of yourself. Love, Cayo Marschner, Moraga, California, July 22, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Tony, Death of any great woman is a big loss. Death of a greater woman is a bigger loss. Death of the greatest woman is the biggest loss. To you and your family, no doubt she was the greatest. Her physical self is gone but her spirit still lives on, never to die in you. It lives and shines in every member of the family. But no matter what you do to occupy your mind you will miss her. That is because you loved and continue to love her. She meant so much to you. Each time that you do miss her, the way you are, after a few thoughtful moments, we know your face will eventually break into a smile and your lips will form the fondest words she loved to hear you say, "I love you." You may want to add, " When my time is up, I will be with you. We will be together again and stay together, forever." Go right ahead, it will be perfectly okay. You are a strong man from the way you write and speak of your values and principles. We know you will overcome this temporary loss of ease and comfort. We pray for her soul, Tony. We pray for yours too and other loved ones she left behind. Good night, Tony, and dream of her. With all respects and empathies, Ogie and Paz Reyes, [email protected], July 23, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Hi, Tony: I opened your column on Marica today only. So my condolences are rather late too. Anyway, for you and the kids, please accept my and my family's deep felt sympathies for her passing. All the best, Gil (Santos), [email protected], July 23, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Hi Tony, Ralph Romero e-mailed your Standard Today article re Marica to us here in the US. Please accept our sincerest condolence. Fil never mentioned that she was ailing. We will miss her too. Our best regards....... Freddie and Vicky (Wieneke), [email protected], July 23, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Sir, I extend my deep condolence to your family. Alex Carranceja, [email protected], Kuwait, July 23, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Hi Tony, My condolences on your loss. Thank you for sharing this article with us. Warmest, Louie Eguaras, [email protected], Valencia, California, July 23, 2006 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Dear Mr. Abaya, Years ago, when my mother passed away long before my father did, I wrote my father, among others, a couple of lines from a poem. I had seen it before in editorials written at the passing of great teachers when I was in high school, but nev |