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It's Almost Official:
Viper Queen, Kristoff Set to Live Together  
APRIL 11 - Kristoff has a new roommate
-- and her name is Viper Queen. Two independent sources confirmed that Viper
Queen is moving into Kristoff's spacious apartment.
"I had bet 50 dollars that she
would do it," said Overmind the Great.
This seemingly unholy union is the talk
of the office.
"I can't wait to tease
Kristoff when I see him in the morning," laughed Earth-2 Damian.
Dr. Damon Hoffman, of the University of South Florida, said that he doubts the two will harmoniously coexist, but he did not dismiss the idea.
"It all goes back to The
Enneagram. She's a 1w2, and he's a 4. They probably see different
versions of themselves in each other. At first, the relationship will be
fantastic, as both partners will be refreshed and enthused. However, over time
she will not stand for his emotional outbursts and emotional mood swings,
while he will not stand for her hypocritical lifestyle and immaturity."
When asked if the two will have sexual
relations, Hoffman replied, "I can foresee alcohol and drug abuse, which
always leads to sexual encounters. But I don't see any real intimacy."
The Ministry of Truth asked Kristoff
about the situation.
"Viper Queen's cool. And we're not
going to have sex 'cause I have a girlfriend. Besides, we're like brother and
sister. That would be icky."
The Viper Queen said that she was
"ecstatic" that she will get "her life back under
control".
"I'm moving! I'm so happy! I feel
so beautiful!!!!"
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